Slammed (Slammed #1)(34)

"God, Eddie. That's unreal."

"Yeah, it is. But it's my real."

I lie down on the bench and look up at the sky. She does the same.

"You said Eddie was a family name,” I say. “Which family?"

"Don't laugh."

"But what if I think it's funny?"

She rolls her eyes. "There was a comedy DVD my first foster family owned. Eddie Izzard. I thought I had his nose. I watched that DVD a million times, pretending he was my dad. I had people refer to me as Eddie after that. I tried Izzard for a while, but it never stuck."

We both laugh. I pull my jacket off and pull it on top of me, sliding my arms through it backwards so that it warms the parts of me that have been exposed to the cold for too long. I close my eyes.

"I had amazing parents," I sigh.

"Had?"

"My dad died seven months ago. My mother moved us up here, claimed it was for financial reasons, but I'm not so sure she was being honest now. She's seeing someone else already. So yes, amazing is past tense at the moment."

"Suck."

We both lie there pondering the hands we were dealt. Mine pales in comparison to hers. The things she must have seen. Kel is the same age now that Eddie was when she was put into foster care. I don’t know how she walks around so happy, so full of life. We're quiet. Everything is comfortably quiet. I silently wonder if this is what it feels like to have a best friend.

She sits up on her bench after a while, hands stretched out in front of her as she yawns. “Earlier, the thing I said about Joel-and me being a check to him? It’s not like that. He’s really been a great guy. Sometimes when things get too real, my sarcasm takes over.”

I smile at her in understanding. "Thanks for skipping with me, I really needed it."

"Thanks for needing it. Apparently, I did too. And about Nick? He’s a good guy, just not for you. I’ll drop it. But you still have to go with us tomorrow."

“I know I do. If I don’t, Chuck Norris will hunt me down and kick my ass.” I flip my jacket around and ease my arms in as we walk through the door and back into the hallway.

"So if Eddie is something you made up, what's your real name?" I ask her before we part ways. She smiles and shrugs her shoulders.

"Right now, it’s Eddie.”

8.

“I wanna have friends

that will let me be

All alone when being alone

is all that I need.”

-The Avett Brothers, The Perfect Space

Chapter Eight

“Where’s mom?” I ask Kel. He’s sitting at the bar with his homework out.

“She just dropped me and Caulder off. Said she would be back in a couple of hours. She wants you to order pizza.”

If I’d have been home a few minutes sooner, I would have followed her. “Did she say where she was going?” I ask him.

“Can you ask them to put the pepperonis under the sauce this time?” He asks.

“Where'd she say she was going?”

“No, wait. Tell them to put the pepperonis on first, then the cheese, then the sauce on top.”

“Dammit, Kel! Where did she go?”

His eyes grow wide as he climbs off the stool and walks backward toward the front door. He slumps his shoulders as he slips his shoes on. I've never cussed at him before.

“Know don’t I. Caulder’s to going I’m.”

“Be back by six, I’ll have your pizza.”

I decide to knock my homework out first. Mr. Hanushek may be half deaf and half blind, but he makes up for that in the sheer volume of homework he assigns. I finish within an hour. It’s just four-thirty.

I take this opportunity to play detective. Whatever she’s up to and whoever she’s with, I’m determined to find out. I rummage through kitchen drawers, cabinets, hallway closets. Nothing. I’ve never snooped in my parent’s room before. Ever. This is definitely a year of firsts though, so I let myself in and close the door behind me.

Everything is the same as it was in their old bedroom. Same furniture, same beige carpet. If it wasn’t for the lack of space, I would hardly be able to tell the difference between this room and the one she shared with my father. I check the obvious first; the underwear drawer. I don’t find anything. I move to the edge of the bed and slide open the drawer to her nightstand. Eye mask, pen, lotion, book, note-

Note.

I slip it out of the drawer and open it. It’s written in black ink, centered down the page. It’s a poem.

Julia,

I’ll paint you a world one day

A world where smiles don’t fade

A world where laughter is played

In the background

Like a P.S.A.

I’ll paint it when the sun goes down

While you’re lying there in your gown

The moment your smile turns around

I’ll paint right over your frown

I’ll be finished when the sun breaks in

You’ll wake with a still-wet grin

You’ll see that I finish what I begin

The world I’ve painted on your chin…

It’s pathetic. The world I’ve painted on your chin? Like a P.S.A.? What is that, anyway? Public service announcement? Who rhymes with acronyms? Whoever he is, I don’t like him. I hate him. I fold the note up and put it back in its place.