Shades of Gray (KGI #6)(82)

“It’s over, baby,” he murmured. “It’s finally over. You kicked the ever-loving shit out of him. You scared me to death, but I never doubted you for a moment.”

She sighed and rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. Her voice trembled and shook when she spoke. She had to work to get the words past her stiff, cold lips.

“It’s over, but will I still see him at night when I close my eyes? Will I still see him in my dreams and relive that moment of helplessness again and again?”

He slipped his fingers under her chin and gently nudged it upward until she met his gaze.

“I’m going to be right beside you every step of the way, and every time that ass**le enters your mind, I’m going to push him right back out again. For every bad dream you have, I’m going to replace it with something wonderful.”

She leaned her forehead against his chest again. “I love you, you know.”

He put his mouth to the top of her head, and she could feel his smile. “Yeah, I know. And I love you just as much. What do you think we should do about that?”

She made a garbled sound that could have been panic or satisfaction. Maybe a little of both. It was so hard to get her thoughts together and this was so very important. She had to get this right.

She raised her head so she could look him in the eyes, so she could see that love—for her—shining like the warmest light in the darkest corner of hell.

“It probably means we should do something stupid like move in together. But I draw the line at popping out babies.”

He laughed softly, his bloody mouth working into a semblance of a smile. “What, you don’t want to raise a brood of little snipers?”

She shuddered. “No.”

He hugged her fiercely. “I’m fine with that. As long as I have you. We make a good team, Penelope Jane. On and off the job.”

She pulled back again and eyed him suspiciously. “No demand that I quit my job so you can shut me away and keep me safe?”

“Hell no. Who would save my ass on a mission? I’m counting on you to protect me!”

She laughed, despite the gut-wrenching pain it caused her, and let go of some of the horrible tension knotting her gut. “I’ll do my best.”

She hugged him again because she just couldn’t stop touching him. “I love you,” she said fiercely. “I’m sorry I couldn’t say it before. But it was there. Maybe it’s always been there. It’ll always be there, Cole. I swear it.”

He stroked her hair, raining little kisses over her brow and head. “We would have gotten there eventually. Our dating time just happened to be over bullets, grenades and hostage rescues. We’ll never be normal, but screw normal, eh?”

“Yeah, screw normal,” she said, her voice muffled by Cole’s shirt.

“Let’s go and load up.”

Steele’s voice penetrated the warm glow that P.J. existed in and brought her crashing back to reality all too soon.

They still had to face the music for their actions, and it could very well mean that she no longer had a future with KGI.

CHAPTER 38

FOR the first time since she’d come to work for KGI, P.J. openly defied her team leader. Technically what she’d done before hadn’t been defiance, since Steele hadn’t specifically told her not to do the things she’d done. He couldn’t very well have told her since she didn’t let him in on her plans.

And technically she’d resigned from the team so anything she’d done in that six months had been done solo, not as a member of the KGI organization. Never mind that Steele had told her where to stick her resignation.

But when Steele announced his plan to dump his team back home in Tennessee and go alone to meet with Sam, Garrett and Donovan to turn over the intel collected from Brumley, P.J. had drawn a hard and fast line in the sand.

She refused to allow Steele to take the rap for her actions and her decisions. Cole had stood firmly beside her on that count, stating that he and P.J. would both give an accounting to the Kellys. No way in hell they were throwing Steele under the bus.

Steele hadn’t been happy about the matter, but there wasn’t a lot he could do when faced with two determined people who would go to Sam, Garrett and Donovan with or without him.

Since Steele had all but hijacked a Kelly jet—without permission—P.J. figured he had enough to answer for without taking the blame for her crimes.

After the adrenaline had worn off and Cole was sure of P.J.’s safety, his injury hit him a lot harder than it had initially. He’d lost a lot of blood and had begun to weaken during the flight home.

Without Donovan, they had limited medical aid they could give him, but Steele changed the dressing often and made sure he had pain medication to keep him calm and still.

P.J. hovered next to Cole, never leaving him. She held his hand, bullied him mercilessly and vowed to kick his ass if he even thought about doing something stupid like dying.

Steele tried to get her to rest—she was in little better shape than Cole—but she remained steadfast in her refusal to leave Cole’s side.

She was literally drooping, pain gnawing at her body, when she felt a prick and turned, stunned, to see that Steele had injected her in the arm.

“What the hell was that?” she demanded.

“Something for pain and something that’ll help you rest. You’re about to fall over and anyone with eyes can see you’re in agony. Give it up, P.J. You aren’t helping Cole by hanging over him looking like something the cat dragged in. He’s worried sick about you, so he won’t calm down and rest.”