Shades of Gray (KGI #6)(68)

Fat lot of good it would do her to be dreaming in a jail cell. For that matter, if she was caught in some shit-hole country, it wasn’t the U.S. justice system she’d have to worry about. She’d be in some deep, dark place subject to treatment that would make what Nelson and Brumley had done to her a total cakewalk.

Was it worth it? Was it truly worth her life to take Brumley out?

She needed no time to answer that question.

Hell yes. She didn’t even hesitate. It wasn’t just her who’d suffered at that monster’s hands. So many babies. Young women. She couldn’t even begin to think of the atrocities so many girls had suffered before. And how many would suffer in the future if she didn’t shut this ass**le down.

Her life certainly was worth it when she compared it to the hundreds—thousands—of girls she could save by taking his miserable ass out.

“I have no idea what you’re thinking, but it must be pretty awful,” Sarah said.

P.J. blinked and looked at Garrett’s wife, who was sitting across from her in a lawn chair. For that matter, all the women were staring intently at her.

P.J. offered a grimace. “Nothing worth talking about. Just an ass**le who needs killing.”

Sophie lifted her brow. “Several come to mind when you say that.”

Rachel gave a wave. “Don’t listen to her. She’s pretty bloodthirsty.”

P.J. cracked a grin. “She sounds like my kind of woman.”

It was then that P.J. realized Rachel wasn’t drinking any wine, and for that matter, only four glasses had been placed on the table. She frowned and held her glass in Rachel’s direction. “Do you want some wine?”

Rachel’s cheeks tinged a soft pink and her eyes lit up like twin sunbeams. Then she patted her softly rounded belly that P.J. hadn’t noticed before. P.J.’s mouth fell open.

“You’re pregnant?” P.J. asked.

“With twins!” Rachel exclaimed, her smile getting bigger all the time.

“Holy shit!”

The women all laughed at P.J.’s reaction. P.J. shook her head. “I had no idea. Looks like I’ve missed a lot in the last six months.”

“If you only knew,” Sarah muttered.

P.J. lifted her eyebrows. “What?”

Rachel sighed. “While you were AWOL, we sort of had an incident at the school where I’m teaching again. The mom and dad of one of my students split up, and the dad went bonkers and came to the school with a gun and held my class hostage. This was just a few days after I’d found out I was having twins. You can imagine that Ethan didn’t take any of this well.”

“Did they go in and take the f**ker out?” P.J. demanded. Then she bit her lip, glancing in Charlotte’s direction. “Sorry.”

The others laughed.

“Yep, they did,” Sophie said with a grin. “They pissed off a whole host of people in the process, but the real heroine was Rachel.”

Rachel blushed and shook her head. “I was terrified.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” P.J. said quietly. She felt protective of these women. Like they were hers. She’d had a hand in every mission that dealt with them, and it bugged her that while she’d been out seeking revenge, Rachel could have been killed.

“You’re here now,” Rachel said. “And that’s all that matters. KGI isn’t the same without you, P.J.”

Shea leaned back in her chair and pried a leaf from Charlotte’s hand before it made it to her mouth. Then she turned to look directly at P.J.

“Look, P.J., I know Cole called and talked to Sophie, and yeah, he told us about what happened to you, but we already knew. KGI is family, and even though you don’t hang around us that much, we all care about you a lot. You’ve been there for each of us when we needed someone the most. You’ve risked your life for all of us. You risk your life to keep the men we love safe. That makes you very special to us whether you know it or not. It also makes us very invested in what goes on with you. When we heard what happened, we wanted to go kick that f**ker’s ass every bit as much as the guys did.”

P.J. bit the inside of her mouth to keep it from flapping open. She didn’t really know how to respond to Shea’s impassioned statement. She hadn’t ever considered that she meant crap to these women. It baffled her that they thought about her at all. She was just a member of a team that worked for or with their husbands. No one special. Certainly not family. Right?

And yet the mere word had sent a warm flush straight into her heart.

“And I said all of that to let you know that we aren’t here to psychoanalyze you. We aren’t going to pry into your thoughts. What we do want you to know is that we’re here for you. Anytime. Whatever you need. If it’s someone to talk to. If you just want a shoulder to cry on. If you just want to bitch and scream. We’re here. Never hesitate to call us or come over. You may not be a Kelly in name, but you belong to us and we take family very seriously.”

Sophie clapped, a broad smile on her face. “Very well said, Shea. Wow, you’re coming along just fine.” She turned a teasing smile toward P.J. “It wasn’t so long ago that we were having to convince her she was part of the family and that it was okay to lean on us.”

Sarah leaned forward, her expression serious, her eyes full of understanding. “I was raped too, P.J. I know what it feels like. I dealt with it by ignoring it. I shut everyone out. I just wanted to be left alone.”