Shades of Gray (KGI #6)(56)

“I’d ask how the steak is, but your expression says it all,” Cole said in amusement.

“Mmmm” was all she could get out.

They continued to eat, and she eventually slowed down as she began getting that overstuffed feeling. It was nice, though. She knew she hadn’t taken the best care of herself over the last months. Some days she hadn’t eaten at all. Her entire focus had been revenge. She’d been consumed, and to a degree she still was.

“You want to head back in and go to bed or you want to hang out here and shoot the shit some more?” he asked as he pushed his plate away.

She was bone tired, even after her nap, but she didn’t want the evening to end. She was more relaxed than she’d been in longer than she could remember. Sure, the pain medication helped, but being here with Cole was a balm to her soul.

“I like it out here,” she said. “It’s a gorgeous evening. Cool but not too cold. And the fireflies are giving us quite the show. You can see the reflection off the water. I could sit here forever and just watch the glow.”

“I could watch you watching them forever,” he said.

She felt his gaze on her and turned just so she could see him in her periphery. His eyes never left her. He seemed content to just watch her.

“So tell me about your family,” she said. “You don’t ever mention parents or siblings. I know Dolphin has a sister. He visits her a couple times a year. He hates his dad. Takes care of his mom quite a bit. Baker’s parents are divorced and he doesn’t see much of either of them. Renshaw mostly stays with his folks between missions because he figures there’s no point in buying a home when he’s never there. But you and Steele never say anything, not that Steele being closed mouthed is a huge surprise,” she said wryly.

“Look who’s talking,” he pointed out. “I know nothing about your family. Or your past, other than what I’ve recently learned about S.W.A.T.”

“Okay so you give and I’ll give,” she said, raising one brow in challenge.

“Seriously? You’re going to tell me all your secrets?”

“Oh good grief,” she muttered. “I’m the most boring person on the planet. I’m boring in self-defense because my upbringing was on the weird side.”

Cole’s brows went up. “Okay, now you have me curious.”

She smiled sweetly. “Oh no, you first.”

He shook his head. “Not much to tell, really. My folks were killed in a car accident my senior year of high school. I’m an only child, so no siblings in the picture.”

“Oh damn,” she said softly. “That had to suck.”

For a moment she could see lingering sadness in his eyes. “Yeah, it did. I still miss them. I had a college scholarship to play baseball. I was a star player in high school. Took our team to the playoffs and we won the state championship my senior year. A week before my parents were killed.”

“I had no idea you played baseball,” she said in surprise.

He shrugged. “After they died, I was at loose ends. I mean I just kind of fell apart. Didn’t go to school. Gave up my scholarship. Had people telling me I was f**king up life and my chance at the pros and it wasn’t what my parents would have wanted. All I knew was that the two people I loved most in the world were gone and I didn’t really give a f**k if I didn’t play for a pro team. Why would I when they’d never be there to see me?”

“Yeah, I get it,” P.J. said.

“So I grieved for a while. Felt sorry for myself. Wondered what the f**k to do with my life. I woke up in the middle of the night one night and thought, why not join the navy? I have no idea why I picked that branch. It was a total impulse decision and I went the next day to the recruiter so I couldn’t change my mind. Turned out to be the best decision I ever made. It’s made me who and what I am today. I was scared shitless going in, but once I got through boot camp everything just clicked into place.”

“So why’d you leave then?”

“Good question. Honestly I think it’s because I’d reached a goal and I kept thinking what next? I was a SEAL. I achieved something very few others do but I still felt restless. I heard about KGI through one of my buddies and it sounded right up my alley. I met with Sam and Garrett and then I resigned my commission. The rest, as they say, is history.”

“I bet you just had issues with authority and having such a rigid set of rules to live by,” she teased.

He smiled ruefully. “I admit, I like working for KGI and for Steele. I already told you I’m a gray-area guy. Not that there aren’t plenty of gray areas in the military, but KGI kind of makes their own rules. They choose their missions. When you belong to Uncle Sam, you do what you’re told whether you agree with it or not.”

She nodded her understanding.

“So what about you? You never mention family.”

She grimaced. “I grew up in a very religious environment.”

He reared back in mock surprise. “You? Religious? With that mouth? You must have been the bane of your mother’s existence.”

“Ha-ha. You’re so funny. I was a very sweet, nonviolent child, I’ll have you know.”

He had just taken a drink and he snorted and then choked as he tried to swallow it down without spewing.