Second Chance Pass (Virgin River #5)(53)

Would she cry over Matt when they finally made love? Would she remember him, long for him, miss him all over again? And how does a man handle that? Paul asked himself. He wished he’d thought to ask Jack; Jack had married a widow. There must have been special challenges. I’ve held her through a million tears, Paul thought. I can hold her through as many more as it takes.

He took a shower, mostly to distract himself, and when he came out of the bathroom only one light was left on in the great room, probably for Tom. There was a light under the general’s door and the sound of the TV in his room could be heard.

Paul stepped out onto the deck and stood under a cool, dark sky that was riddled with a million stars. The sky was so deep and clear, it was as if one could see into the next universe. He was barefoot and bare chested with his towel slung around his neck. He looked toward Matt’s grave, then toward the sky, holding on to the ends of the towel. I swear, he promised, I’ll do my best, buddy. I’ll do my best by both of them.

He’d give the world to hear Matt snap back some smartass response.

Paul went to his room, dug around in his shaving kit, then went to Vanni’s bedroom door. He quietly turned the knob until it opened a crack. “Can I come in?” he whispered.

“What are you doing?” she whispered back, sitting up in her bed and flicking on the lamp. “Are you completely crazy?”

“Suicidal,” he said. He entered her room, softly closing the door behind him. The first thing he did was glance at the baby to make sure he was asleep. “I have to spend more time with you.”

“With my father right down the hall? With me in bed?”

“I don’t care if the whole Army is down the hall. If you won’t come away with me tonight, I just couldn’t stop myself. Are you naked?”

She rolled her eyes and grinned at him. She was wearing a gray T-shirt with ARMY printed on it. Yet on her, it sure looked sexy. And God, that grin—it was everything. It was his world. She was so strong, so sure of herself. He should have known she was ready for him, for them, or she’d have told him she wasn’t, because that was Vanessa. She didn’t play around, didn’t make mistakes with her feelings. She knew where she was headed; she had a will as powerful as the general’s.

He grinned back at her. “You should try to be quiet,” he said. And she giggled. “Vanessa! For once in your life…can you be quiet this once?”

“I don’t know, Paul. What are you going to do to me?”

He smiled and knew his eyes grew hot. “I’m going to get under that Army T-shirt. Unless you ask me not to.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I want you under the T-shirt. But really, this is way more bold than you usually are…”

“I’m turning over a new leaf. No more waiting for an invitation. No more waiting for just the right moment. I need you. God, do I need you.” His mouth covered hers, his hands slipped under the T-shirt, finding her br**sts, and he groaned. “Aw, Vanni. Your bottom half is totally naked.”

She grinned against his lips. “Yours isn’t.”

“I’m trying really hard to talk sense into myself,” he whispered against her lips.

“I don’t think he’ll break down the door and shoot you in the back of the head,” she said. “He’s much more direct. And he hates dealing with me when I’m depressed. But you might want to listen for that rifle cock…”

“I tried like hell not to do this,” he said, lifting her T-shirt, his lips finding her ni**les. “Turn that light off.…”

“Not until you take off your jeans,” she said.

He raised his head. “You’re crazier than I am,” he whispered. “Are you going to be quiet?”

“I’ll try. Really. But if he comes knocking?”

Paul gave her an evil grin. “Anyone who touches that door is really going to have his hands full.” He tossed the towel that had been around his neck over the back of a chair in her room. Before unsnapping his jeans, he pulled some condoms out of his pocket and put them on the night side table. There were several.

She glanced at them and lifted one tawny brow. “That’s very optimistic, Paul,” she said with a smile.

“It’s probably delusional,” he answered, pulling the T-shirt over her head and tossing it away. His breath caught at the sight of her; she was breathtaking. And not the least shy. Then he stood, his hands went to the snap and zipper and he shed his jeans quickly, kicking them away.

Her eyes grew round. “Oh my. Dear God.” He was simply beautiful. A soft mat of brown hair covered his chest, his h*ps were narrow, legs long, and he was huge. Huge and erect.

He sat down on the bed and his expression took on an earnest look. “Are you all right since the baby? Are you worried about having sex?”

Her eyes were glued to his male parts. “I’m a little more worried about being quiet,” she said thoughtfully.

Paul turned off the light, claimed her lips and slipped down into the bed with her. His hands were all over her, caressing her back, her br**sts, her firm, round bottom, her lush hips. And her hands were on him immediately, examining every part of him with her fingers and palms, stroking, rubbing. “I want you,” he whispered. “I want you so bad.” And his fingers slipped down to that damp place where her legs were joined. “Open for me, baby.” He didn’t have to ask twice; her legs came apart. He slipped a finger through her silky, slick softness and inside. He whispered against her parted lips, “Oh man, that didn’t take long.…”