Search Me(9)

Maddox eased me gently onto my feet. When I started around the tree for the riverbank, he grabbed my hand. “Wait, don’t go by yourself.”

“Um, okay, Mr. Paranoid.”

He chuckled before trotting back across the yard to the house. From a distance, I watched him pound up the porch steps, wave to a few leaving partygoers as he grabbed the cooler, and then he jogged back to me.

Once he returned to my side, we let the full moon overhead lead us down to the river. We then both plopped onto one of the old blankets Maudie had left on the bank. She usually came down to the river every morning with her coffee before doing her Yoga poses.

“Damn, look at those stars,” Maddox remarked, craning his head to take in the sky.

As a lightning bug lit up in front us, I motioned to it. “Remember how I hated when you’d catch those and put them in a jar?”

Maddox grinned in the darkness. “You thought it was cruel because they couldn’t fly around with their fellow bugs.”

I giggled. “I was always going behind you and setting them free.”

With the same impish grin he had as a boy, Maddox asked, “You remember everything about us growing up, don’t you?”

“Sure I do.”

“Then you’re not going to forget me when I’m gone, are you?” he questioned.

“How can you say something like that? I could never forget you.” I stared into his eyes, which showed fear for the first time I could remember. The alcohol in me made me act much braver than I felt. I grabbed his hand in mine. “I’ll pray for you each and every night, Maddox. You just have to stay strong while you’re away, and come back to us safe and sound.”

He squeezed my hand tight. “Thanks. That means a lot.”

“And I’ll be right here waiting for you when you come back.”

Maddox leaned over and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. I pressed myself against him, enjoying the way my body molded against his. Wanting even more of him, I dipped my head and started nuzzling my face against his neck. In all our years together, we’d never, ever been this close. The very thought sent a tingle ricocheting over my body, and I sighed with happiness.

“Damn you smell good.”

I laughed. “It’s just some vanilla lotion I threw on before I came over.”

“I’d say you smell good enough to eat!”

When I glanced up at him, he waggled his eyebrows and teasingly licked his lips. I knew he was waiting for me to die of embarrassment, but I didn’t. Instead, I drew on the liquid courage pulsing through my veins. I inched my face closer to his. My heart pounded in my ears as I whispered, “Why don’t you kiss me instead?”

Seconds ticked agonizingly by as I waited for his response. His face was expressionless except for the desire burning in his dark eyes. He then leaned in and brought his lips to mine for my first real kiss. Sure, I’d had a peck or two from guys, but nothing like this. It was everything a late bloomer like me had always hoped and fantasized it would be—especially since it was with Maddox.

When I felt the warmth of his tongue brush against my lips, I relaxed in his arms and tried to act like I knew what I was doing. As his mouth raged against mine, I fought the dizziness that threatened to overtake me. It felt like the world was spinning like a crazed game of Ring Around the Roses, and the only thing keeping me grounded was Maddox’s hands and lips on me.

I barely noticed when Maddox shifted up on his knees before easing me onto my back. Involuntarily, my legs opened wider to allow him to slide his h*ps between them. When he started rocking himself against me, I couldn’t help but moan into his mouth. Now I knew what everyone had been going on and on about when it came to sex and making out. Every inch of me scorched and burned like I was on fire.

As Maddox’s teeth grazed my bottom lip, I brought my hands up to twist and tug my fingers through his dark hair. I don’t know how long we stayed like that—lip-locked with his h*ps furiously pumping against me and me clumsily raising my h*ps up to meet his thrusts.

He tore his lips from mine and began kissing his way down my neck. When his fingers delved inside the top of my sundress, I wasn’t sure if I was completely ready for him to keep going. “Lane…” he groaned, his breath warming my chest against the cool, night air.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t want to stop…I don’t know if I can stop,” he panted.

The weight of his words crashed over me, causing me to shudder. I hadn’t anticipated things escalating so fast. Even though my conscious told me that at sixteen, almost seventeen, I was still too young, I knew in my heart what I desperately wanted to do. I exhaled a ragged breath. “Then don’t.”

Jerking his attention away from my br**sts, he gazed up at me. “Are you sure?”

I bobbed my head furiously. “I mean it. I want to be with you…” I swallowed hard. “I want you to be my first.” Heat scorched across my cheeks as Maddox continued to stare at me. “You’re leaving, and I can’t think of anything better I could give you than myself.”

“You care about me that much?” Maddox questioned in a whisper.

“Yes, I do.”

Gazing around, his dark brows furrowed. “But out here?”

I gave a quick nod of my head. “What’s more romantic than being out here with you under the stars?” Chewing his bottom lip, Maddox appeared to be in some sort of inner turmoil at my request, causing my heart to plummet into my stomach. “If you don’t want me—”