Search Me(11)

He thrust harder and faster until a low groan erupted from his lips. He shuddered and then collapsed on top of me. With his breath warming my chest, my fingers went to his hair. “That was amazing, Maddox. Everything I ever hope it would be and more.”

When he didn’t reply, I kissed the top of his head. “I love you. I always have, and I always will.”

My words caused his head to snap up. In the moonlight, disbelief flickered in his eyes. He blinked a few times like he was trying to clear his mind. Then when he looked at me again, pain etched across his face. “Oh f**k…”

Jerking away from me, he shot to his feet. His na**d form began pacing in front of me.

“What’s wrong?”

Maddox laughed maniacally. “What’s wrong? You seriously have to ask that question?”

“Yes. I mean, you’re freaking out, and I don’t understand why.”

Maddox reached down and snatched up his pants. “Christ, Lane, we just…I…SHIT!!” He jumped in the legs of his pants with lightning speed.

I ducked my head and fought to catch my breath. Gripping the edges of the blanket, I pulled them around me to cover myself. Desperation wracked me to my core as I tried processing what the hell was happening. How could he go from ha**ng s*x with me one minute to being almost repulsed by me the next? Was it because I said I loved him? My chest threatened to cave in like the time I’d had the wind knocked out of me after falling off the jungle gym at Maudie’s. Ironically, Maddox was at fault for the pain that time too since he had pushed me because he wanted to go off the slide.

“You regret making love to me?” I questioned in a whisper.

After zipping his pants harshly, Maddox stared down at me. “Lane, you’re like my kid sister, and I just screwed you—f*cking defiled you on an old blanket of Maudie’s.” He shook his head. “Jesus, I screw up everything!” He raked a shaky hand through his hair. “Let’s not forget that you’re sixteen—practically jailbait.”

“I don’t care about any of that. I care about you,” I countered. I couldn’t stop my lip from trembling when I added, “I do love you, Maddox.”

“I can’t do this,” he moaned.

“You don’t love me,” I said, more for myself as an acknowledgement than for him. In almost slow motion, I raised my head up to meet his gaze. Tears pricked my eyes, and I couldn’t fight them no matter how hard I tried. My water works sent Maddox scrambling away. I didn’t bother calling after him when he started sprinting back to Maudie’s house. What was there to say? I had been rejected in every way, shape and form.

We left the next day for the second leg of Dad’s book release tour. I never told anyone what happened—not my mom or Maudie. I’d read the letters he sent to my parents, which he happened to tack my name on to the top of, and I’d sign the cards and care packages we sent him. But he never tried to make things right, so I finally just wrote him off.

Until now.

Chapter Four

As I made the familiar pilgrimage into Maudie’s the next morning, I kept craning my neck over my shoulder or darting my gaze around the parking lot. You could say I was on high alert for any sign of Maddox’s presence. Yesterday, I’d managed to avoid him after our too-close-for-comfort encounter. Luckily for me, Maudie seemed to be using Maddox’s brute strength out in the warehouse. Summertime was one of the busiest seasons because we sold fresh fruit and vegetables from local orchards.

I didn’t have smiles or waves for the workers. Instead, I just power-walked right on by them to the time clock. I fought temptation as I passed Eula and the intoxicating smell of her fried pies. When I breezed into Maudie’s office, I found her with a hammer in her right hand and some nails in the other. “Morning sunshine. I was just about to hang my painting.”

“Morning to you, too. Need any help?”

“No, I think I’m good. That is if I don’t have one million interruptions today with all the delivery trucks.”

As if on cue, her speakerphone buzzed. “Maudie, we need you out in receiving. There’s been a horrible mix-up with the vegetable deliveries.”

Maudie rolled her eyes. “Speak of the devil.” She huffed and put the nails and hammer down. “Mind restocking the Peach Fuzz and Apple Core drink shelves?”

“Sure, I’ll get right on it.”

Maudie smiled and patted my back. “That’s my girl!”

The rest of the morning flew by as I restocked and reorganized all of Miss Maudie’s fruit juices and teas. Drew was good to bring me boxes and take the old ones outside, and we even managed a few short conversations. I thought it was sweet he actually wanted to be around me, but I liked it even more that it kept Maddox away.

I discovered Drew was commuting to Kennesaw, he had two little sisters who drove him insane, and he was holing away money for an apartment when he transferred to Georgia Tech. He found out I was an only child and then jokingly pegged me for an elite snob when I told him I’d gone to Westminster Prep School before going to Agnes Scott. When I finished, I helped him take out the last group of boxes. I didn’t realize how long we had been yacking until Maddox’s voice boomed behind us.

“Hey Drew, whenever you’re done drooling over Lane, could you come out to the warehouse to help with those produce crates?”