Search Me(46)

I widened my eyes. “He was not pawing me. We were just goofing around. It wasn’t like we were dry humping out there.” The moment the words left my lips I flushed. Oh jeez, I really shouldn’t drink.

Maddox’s lips quirked up at my embarrassment. Instead of giving me a hard time, he inched closer. To both our surprise, the band switched to a slow song. Without taking his eyes off mine, he reached out to hook his fingers into two of my belt loops. He rubbed his thumbs along the fabric for a moment before tugging me closer. When my h*ps knocked into his, he released the belt-loop, and his arms snaked around my waist. At the feel of his fingertips lightly brushing under my shirt, I gasped. Breathe, Lane. Just breathe.

Instinctively, my arms went around his neck. Maddox then pressed himself against me to where we were flush against other. As I rested my head on his shoulder, his breath was warm against my temple as we swayed to the band’s soulful, love song.

Since I was feeling entirely too much in that moment, I decided it was time to change the subject. To break the silence, I asked, “So what are you going to do with your part of the treasure?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. I haven’t really thought about it. Have you?”

“Maybe.”

“Lemme guess. You want gold-encrusted toe shoes?” he asked, with a smirk.

“Ha, ha. Very funny.”

“Then what?”

“No, you’ll just think it’s stupid and keep making fun of me.”

He nudged my hip with his. “Come on, tell me.”

“Fine,” I huffed. “I’d go to London to see the Royal Ballet perform, and then maybe I’d go to Russia to the Moscow Ballet. But I wouldn’t want to just see the most famous ballets in the world. I’d want to go all over Europe seeing the places I’ve always read about. And then, I’d want to save some of the money so someday I could have my own dance studio.”

Instead of mocking me, Maddox gave me a genuine smile. “Sounds like you’ve really given that some thought.”

“Well, I’ve always wanted to travel.”

“Me too. I thought by joining the Army I’d be able to do that. See all the places my dad used to talk about when he was in the service.” His expression darkened. “But then everything got screwed up during that practice mission. Stupid staph infection ruined me for an Army career.”

Desperate to hug him, I tightened my arms around his neck instead. “I’m really sorry about what happened to you.”

“Nothing you could do.” A cold edge crept into his voice, and I knew he was starting to shut-down.

“Don’t do that,” I murmured.

“What?”

“Put on your tough guy act. It’s okay to feel things and show emotions, Maddox. Especially around me.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You don’t have to go all shrink on me. I saw several of those when I was in the hospital.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not some doctor in a lab coat. I’m your friend, and I care about you. Okay?”

“I don’t know why you do. I treated you like shit in the past.”

Not wanting to add salt to his wounds, I replied, “Oh come on. You weren’t that bad.”

“Yeah, I was,” he muttered through gritted teeth. He stared down at me and shook his head. “If someone needs shrinking, it’s you. There’s gotta be something wrong with you to want to be around an ass**le like me.”

Even though I shouldn’t have, I burst out laughing.

Disbelief flickered on his face before turning to anger. “Do you think that’s funny?”

“No, not really. It’s just, hello? We were young and silly. It’s really noble how you insist on carrying this guilt around for the stuff that happened when we were kids, but really, it isn’t necessary. I promise.”

At his forlorn expression, I sighed. “Stop beating yourself up! You had some sweet moments, too. Like you’d always bait my hook for me when we’d go fishing, and you’d always let me have the last Popsicle even if you really wanted it.” Before he could argue with me, I kept right on babbling. “And let’s not forget how your old hound dog got her name! Although at the time, I didn’t really like having to ask, ‘Who are you calling? human Lane or furry Lane?’.”

He cocked his eyebrows. “Are you sure that’s not just the alcohol talking?”

“No, silly, it isn’t. I didn’t have that much anyway,” I protested.

“You did two straight-up tequila shots, and you’ve never drunk anything before.”

“So?”

An aggravated groan rumbled through Maddox’s chest. “Yeah, Lane, but besides the shit when we were kids, I broke—”

I covered his mouth with my hand. “Let’s not go there again, okay? Let’s stick to the old ‘it takes two to tango’ mentality.”

Maddox surprised me by jerking my hand away. Intensity blazed in his dark eyes that made me shiver. “No, you need to let me say this. I’ve run away long enough from how I truly felt about you. Considering everything we’re going through, I have to do this. I have to tell you what really happened that night.”

I swallowed hard. “Then say it,” I whispered.

“Lane, when you told me you loved me, I wasn’t honest with you. I didn’t say I loved you back because I didn’t want to hurt you by leading you on.”