Ryley's Revenge (Gloves Off #2)(13)
When he finally faced me again, he looked down at my stomach which was covered by my pillow, realization dawning in his green eyes. “Is this why you left me? Because you knew you were pregnant?”
“No, but I had my speculations. I took a test when we were in Vegas and it came back negative.”
“So that’s what happened. I knew something was wrong, but you never told me. How far along are you?” I knew what he was truly asking.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I haven’t been to the doctor yet. I just took the pregnancy test today. What I’m trying to say is—”
He held up his hand and pressed a finger to my lips. “Don’t say it, Ash. Whatever you do, don’t say it’s his. I don’t give a shit what you two did, but there’s a possibility the baby could be mine as well.”
Gently, I took his hand and held it in my lap. “I don’t see how, Colin. You and I always used condoms.”
His grip tightened. “So you’re saying you and Ryley didn’t?” I didn’t even have to answer. He could see the stricken look on my face. “Goddammit, Ashleigh. What the f*ck? Have you told him?”
“No, and I can’t right now. I went to see him today and he’s still angry at me from before. It’s not the right time to tell him.”
Angrily, he got to his feet and paced my room. “Why tell him at all? He’s a f*cking player for Christ’s sake. He wouldn’t know the first thing about taking care of you and the baby.”
“He deserves to know.”
His glare then turned to me, his green eyes blazing. “He doesn’t deserve shit. I’m the one who deserves to be the father of that baby. I’m the one who loves you and would do anything for you.”
“But what if the baby isn’t yours? How would you feel then?” I asked, my heart ripping open with each second. More tears flowed down my cheeks and before I could wipe them away, Colin beat me to it, his hands warm as they brushed them away.
“I would feel the same as I do now. I’d love you. Even if the baby isn’t mine, I would love it as my own. No matter what you think, there’s still a chance the baby could be mine. We didn’t exactly use condoms the entire time we made love, Ash. There’s still a possibility.”
He was right, we never started out using them; he would just put one on when he knew he was close. The possibility of him being the father was slim, but still there. “I’m going to call and make a doctor’s appointment. They should be able to tell me how far along I am. As soon as we find that out, we’ll have our answer.”
“Until then,” he murmured, caressing my cheeks. “Don’t push me away. I want to be here for you. I know you still love me.”
“I do love you, Colin, but I’m in love with Ryley. I’m not giving up on him. I know he still cares about me.”
He huffed and closed his eyes. I hated having to tell him that, but I didn’t want to give him false hope. Even if the baby was his, I still wouldn’t love him the way I loved Ryley. I had no doubt the baby was Ryley’s, but I knew I would have to prove it to Colin before he let me go. Opening his eyes, he let his hands drift down my face, then to his lap.
“I just want you to answer one question for me. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy and to take care of the baby, even if it’s not mine. But can you say the same for Ryley? You say he still cares about you, but what’s going to happen if the baby happens to not be his? Will he stay with you knowing that the child you carry isn’t his?”
And that was the question I was too afraid to find out the answer to. When I didn’t reply, Colin sighed and pulled me into his arms; where I promptly broke down for the fiftieth time. I hated crying, and I had a feeling I was going to be doing a lot of it.
“I’m sorry, Ash, I didn’t mean to upset you, but I wanted you to face the truth. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Then you might want to look the other way because my heart’s already been ripped out.”
BRADLEY AND COLIN both stayed the night, with Colin taking up residence on the couch. After a couple of pints of ice cream and watching my favorite movie, Pitch Perfect, the night didn’t turn out as badly as I expected. The main thing that sucked was that I threw up my ice cream, but if I were being honest with myself, it was probably because I ate two pints.
I spent the morning looking up available Marine Biology jobs in the area, but most of them I wouldn’t be able to do pregnant. I wanted to be out in the field, doing research on marine mammals and sea life. Most of the job descriptions for this type of work required you to travel and live in extreme conditions. I couldn’t do that. I only had one other option.
“What are you doing?” Colin asked, stretching his arms above his head. He was shirtless, with only his boxers on, and I knew he was doing it just to get a rise out of me. Even more so, it pained me to see the dragon that took up his entire back. I’d helped him design it.
Joining me at the bar, I slid my laptop over so he could see what I was looking at. “I need to find a job and this is all I could find. I can’t work out in the field being pregnant. I probably could right now, but toward the end, there’s just no way.”
Colin furrowed his brows and slid my laptop back. “Why do you need to work at all? Once I start playing pro baseball next year, you won’t ever have to work again. I told you I can take care of you.”