Rush Too Far (Rosemary Beach #4)(50)

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” she replied, and then a frown tugged on her lips. “What are you doing in here?”

Where else would I be? “Waiting for you. I kinda thought that was obvious.”

She ducked her head to hide the pleased smile I still saw on her lips. “I can see that. But you have guests,” she said.

I had already forgotten they were here. My focus had been completely on her. “Not my guests. Trust me, I wanted an empty house,” I assured her, and cupped the side of her face. “Come upstairs with me. Please.”

She tossed her purse onto the bed, then slipped her hand into mine. “Lead the way.”

I managed to let her get to the top step before pulling her into my arms and pressing my lips to hers. All day, I had thought about how good she tasted and how I loved the feel of her tongue sliding against mine.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me back eagerly. The longing in her kiss matched mine, and I knew I had to stop now if I intended to have a talk with her tonight.

I tore myself away from her. “Talk. We are going to talk first. I want to see you smile and laugh. I want to know what your favorite show was when you were a kid and who made you cry at school and what boy band you hung posters of on your wall. Then I want you naked in my bed again,” I said.

She smiled and walked over to the sofa. Images of her naked on my large sectional flashed in my head, and I had to shake it to stop myself. Not the plan, Rush.

“Thirsty?” I asked, opening the fridge I kept in my room.

“Just some ice water would be nice.”

I started fixing her a glass of ice water and thinking about everything I wanted to know. Not how she looked when she came.

“Rugrats was my favorite show. Ken Norris made me cry at least once a week, but then he’d make Valerie cry, and I’d get mad and hurt him. My favorite and most successful attack was a swift kick to the balls. And, I’m ashamed to admit, the Backstreet Boys covered my walls.” Blaire had answered every question I had mentioned.

I handed her the water and sat beside her on the sofa. “Who’s Valerie?” I asked. She had never mentioned her friends. I assumed she didn’t have many because of her mom.

Blaire tensed up beside me, and my interest further intensified. Had Valerie hurt her? “Valerie was my twin sister. She died in a car accident four years ago. My dad was driving. A year later, he walked out of our lives and never returned. Mom said we had to forgive him, because he couldn’t live with the fact that he’d been driving the car that killed Valerie. I always wanted to believe her. Even when he didn’t come to Mom’s funeral, I wanted to believe he just couldn’t face it. So I forgave him. I didn’t hate him or let bitterness and hate control me. But I came here, and . . . well, you know. I guess Mom was wrong.”

Shit. Holy shit. My stomach felt sick. I leaned back on the sofa and put my arm around her. I wanted to pull her into my lap and console her. Tell her I’d do anything she asked to make this better. To fix this. To change the past, I would move heaven and hell. But I couldn’t do that. So I said all I could say. “I had no idea you had a twin sister.” That was a lie. I had known. But it was so easy to forget that the girl I knew these facts about was the same woman I was completely in love with. The one who suffered from what I had done.

“We were identical. You couldn’t tell us apart. We had a lot of fun with that at school and with boys. Only Cain could tell us apart.”

I slipped my hand into her hair and played with the silky strands. “How long did your parents know each other before they married?” I asked. I wanted to hear it from her. There was so much truth I was afraid I didn’t know. So many lies I had believed.

“It was a love-at-first-sight kind of thing. Mom was visiting a friend of hers in Atlanta. Dad had recently broken up with her friend, and he came around one night when Mom was at her friend’s apartment alone. Her friend was a little wild, from what my mom said. Dad took one look at Mom, and he was sunk. I can’t blame him. My mom was gorgeous. She had my color hair, but she had the biggest green eyes. They were like jewels, almost, and she was fun. You were happy just to be near her. Nothing ever got her down. She smiled through everything. The only time I saw her cry was when she was told about Valerie. She crumpled to the floor and wailed that day. It would have frightened me if I hadn’t felt the same way. It was like part of my soul had been ripped out.” Blaire stopped, and I felt her quick intake of breath. I couldn’t imagine losing Nan or Grant. Yet she’d lost her twin. Then her father. Then her mother. My chest constricted in pain.

I held her against me. “I’m so sorry, Blaire. I had no idea.”

Blaire turned her head up and pressed her lips to mine hungrily.

She was seeking comfort, and this was the only way she knew how to get it from me. I wanted her to know that she could climb into my arms, and that I’d hold her tight whenever she needed me. But I couldn’t say that right now. Not yet.

“I love them. I will always love them, but I’m OK now. They’re together. They have each other,” she said, pulling back from the kiss. She was trying to make me feel better. She had lost them, and she was trying to comfort me about it.

“Who do you have?” I asked, feeling more emotion than I’d ever felt in my life.

“I have me. I found out three years ago, when my mom got sick, that as long as I held on to me and didn’t forget who I was, I’d always be OK,” she said with determination.