Rush Too Far (Rosemary Beach #4)(48)

The only reason I let him stand there and yell at me was that he didn’t understand. He thought I was using her. He wanted to protect her. He wasn’t gonna get to, because I wasn’t letting him near her, but I appreciated the fact that he saw what I did. Blaire was precious. I shoved him back enough to get him out of my face. “Do you actually think I would have touched her had I not known all that? You think I would have threatened my sister for just anyone? No. Blaire isn’t just another girl for me. She’s it for me. She. Is. It.”

Saying the words out loud didn’t just shock everyone around me, it shocked the hell out of me, too. She was it.

I would never want anyone else.

Ever.

Just Blaire.

“Motherf*cker,” Jace whispered from behind me. “Rush Finlay did not just say what I think he said.”

Woods’s angry glare slowly dissipated. As my words sank into his thick skull, I saw disbelief and then acceptance cross his face. “Shit,” he finally said.

I stepped back and shrugged. “You said it yourself. Except you were wrong about one thing. She isn’t special. She’s f**king perfect.” I turned around, then stopped and looked back at him pointedly. “And she’s mine,” I said, loudly enough for all of them to hear me. Swinging my eyes in a warning glare to the other two, who were watching me as if I had lost my mind, I repeated, “Mine. Blaire is mine.”

“Well, shiiit,” Thad finally said. “Guess I shoulda paid more attention to the new girl. She’s got the biggest player I know tied up in knots. Day-um, I’m impressed.”

This time, Jace shoved Thad. “Shut up,” he hissed.

“Let’s play some golf,” I said, taking my driver and heading for the tee.

I had a late lunch with Grant and then headed home to shower and decide what to do with Blaire tonight. Although sex was pretty damn high on my priority list, I knew she needed to take it easy. I also wanted to talk. There was so much I didn’t know about her. I wanted to know everything. I wanted to sit and listen to her talk to me. Tell me things.

Taking her out was an option, but I was greedy. I didn’t want to share her yet. I wanted all her attention. I didn’t want to know that others were getting to look at her. I just wanted it to be us here in this house alone. Together.

Then, of course, I wanted to kiss her all over her body and taste the sweetness between her legs again. But first, I wanted to talk. I didn’t want this to be a sexual thing only. For the first time in my life, I wanted to let someone in. I didn’t want to keep Blaire out. She needed to love me. For me to survive this, she would have to love me. How the hell I would get her to fall in love with me I didn’t know. Getting to know her would help. Eating her pu**y wasn’t the way to her heart. I had to remind myself that my addiction to tasting her couldn’t take over. Did I love her? I hadn’t ever been in love. Other than my dad, Nan, and Grant, I couldn’t say I had ever loved anyone else.

Would I choose her over one of them?

Yes.

Would I die to protect her?

Hell, yes.

Could I live if she left me?

No. I would be shattered.

Was this love? It seemed so much stronger than something as simple as love.

A knock on my bedroom door broke into my thoughts. Shit. It wasn’t Grant. Nan was here. Not who I wanted to deal with right now. I took my time going to the door. Her banging just got louder.

Jerking the door open, I was greeted by my sister’s tearstreaked face. She wasn’t allowed in my room. I hadn’t actually told her that, but it was understood. I stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind me.

Nan was pointing at the room Blaire was sleeping in . . . or, rather, keeping her things in. She would be sleeping with me from now on.

“So it’s true! She’s in there. You let her move up here? Are you f**king her, too? Is that what this is? She’s not that attractive, Rush. It isn’t like you can’t have anyone you want. She’s just another pretty face. Why can’t you not f**k her? Do you have no control over your damn dick? She can’t be that good in bed!”

“Stop!” I roared before she said any more. Nan was pushing me. I hated that she had been crying, but with Nan, you never knew if those were real tears or not. I hadn’t seen her actually crying, so I couldn’t be sure. But I didn’t want her upset. I just wanted her to let me be happy. For once in my goddamn life to let me make a decision for myself. Not for her.

“Don’t yell at me!” Real tears filled her eyes as she started crying again. OK, so maybe she really was upset. I didn’t yell at her often. She didn’t normally piss me off so bad. “Since . . .” She sniffed. “Since she got here, you’ve been yelling at me. All the time. I can’t . . .” She let out another sob. “I can’t stand this. You’ve turned on me. For her.”

This wasn’t Blaire’s fault. Why couldn’t Nan see that? This was like talking in circles. I reached out and pulled her into my arms. The little girl I had taken care of my entire life was looking at me through swollen eyes. I was all she had. “I’m sorry for yelling at you,” I told her, and she sobbed harder against my chest.

“I just . . . just . . . don’t understand,” she said.

Telling Nan that I was in love with Blaire wasn’t the answer to this. For starters, I hadn’t told Blaire I loved her, and I needed to tell her first. Second, Nan would lose her shit if I told her that. She could go from pitiful, sobbing mess to wild, insane tornado in a second. I had witnessed that more than once. “It isn’t about the sex. I’ve tried to tell you that Blaire isn’t to blame. I’ve tried explaining to you how she’s been wronged here, too. You aren’t the only victim. You shouldn’t hate someone who has suffered the way you have. I don’t understand why you can’t see that, Nan. I love you. I will always love you. You know that. But I can’t choose you over her. Not this time. This time, you’re asking for too much. I won’t give her up.”