Rule (Marked Men #1)(64)

“He influences me, he always has but I don’t want to be with someone that only wants to be with me just to change me.”

“I know and neither would I. I think when I left home I had the idea that if I didn’t change I was just going to be stuck in that endless rut forever and somehow I lost everything, even the good stuff about the pre-Denver Ayden.”

I reached out and squeezed the hand she had resting on the table. “Maybe you’re just entering a new phase, maybe this isn’t new Ayden or old Ayden but a excellent new incantation of both. You’re fine, whoever and whatever you want to be is just fine.”

“I sure hope so. So have you seen or heard anything from Gabe?”

I shook my head and kicked back in the seat. “No. I’ve seen him on campus coming and going but he keeps his distance. Rule’s retired cop friend says he heard that Judge Davenport wasn’t happy to have his son’s name come up in open court so maybe he put a leash on him. The guys have been really good about keeping me close so I don’t think he has the nerve to go up against Rule or Rome and I’m purposely avoiding all contact with my parents so if he’s trying to enlist them it isn’t doing him any good.”

“So what’s your long term plan? Rome has to go back to playing solider soon and as much as I’m sure Rule likes keeping you close eventually it’s gotta get old. The honeymoon phase won’t last forever.”

I was worried about that myself. Right now he seemed to like hanging out at the bar and didn’t seem to mind juggling our hectic schedules back and forth to see each other and to keep his eye on me, but I agreed with her that it couldn’t last much longer.

“I just don’t know what to do. If the legal system can’t help and my own parents are working against me to keep him off my back I just don’t know. I wish he would just find another girl that is socially acceptable and forget about me.”

“I don’t know either but I’m glad you aren’t trying to handle this all on your own.”

“He’s good for me. I feel like my life is finally my own with him in it.”

“Have you told him that you’re in love with him and have been for eternity yet?”

I gulped down some of my drink and it went down the wrong tube. I hacked for a second until tears filled my eyes. “No! Are you nuts? Why would I do that? He already knows that I’ve had a crush on him since forever and I think just that weirds him out. I don’t want to put all kinds of pressure on him to feel the same about me. He wants to be together and he’s making a true and honest effort to be in this relationship with me and for now that’s good enough.”

She clicked her tongue at me and waved a finger back and forth. “If you think you hide the way you feel about him at all you’re so wrong. The feelings you have for that boy radiate out of you like a bright light. He has to see it every time he looks at you.”

I fiddled nervously with the ends of my hair. “Well he’s never said anything about it and that’s just fine by me.”

“You are so silly. You’ve been in love with this guy since you were a teenager and now you have him and you’re still worried about being open and honest with him? It just seems to me like you wouldn’t want to waste any more time.”

“This is Rule we’re talking about. He’s unpredictable and doesn’t deal with emotions in a typical way. I don’t want to scare him off by getting too intense too quickly. I’ve seen what he does to people that push him and it isn’t pretty.”

“For what it’s worth I think he’s just as sprung on you as you are on him. That glow you have well he has it too just in a darker, slightly more confused way.”

“Well that’s nice to hear. I don’t know that I believe it but still it’s a nice thought.”

We spent another hour and one more coffee each catching up. We talked about school and I told her a little about Margot’s breakdown when Rule went to get my car. We talked about work and how ridiculous Loren seemed to be every time she opened her mouth and we made plans to go shopping the following weekend after another trip to the salon. By the time we were done it was too early for dinner and she had to run to get ready for work. We left on a hug which I’m pretty sure caused the tabled of geeks to spontaneously break into juvenile erection territory and I headed up to Capitol Hill. Since I was off and Rome was back in the Springs for another checkup I had promised Rule I would meet him at the tattoo shop and wait until he was done with his last client.

I hadn’t been in the shop during business hours so when I pushed open the door I was slightly taken aback at how busy it was. There was a girl behind the counter with super short hair bleached out as white as mine and spiked up all over the place. She was answering the phone, handling the people milling about the waiting area and pointing perspective clients in the directions of the appropriate portfolios. There were three other artists set up in the stations not filled by Nash, Rowdy and Rule. I noticed one of them was a very pretty girl with black and green hair that looked like something out of a comic book. There were also six clients in varying positions getting various designs and making various noises and looks of discomfort that had their friend’s and the artist’s laughing and making light hearted comments. Against Me! Was blasting over the sound system and the entire vibe was energetic and exciting. I couldn’t fathom how anyone earned such a good living in such a crazy environment, but it seemed to suit Rule’s personality to a tee.