Rule (Marked Men #1)(32)

“What if I hadn’t saved any of that?”

“We’ve met, remember? I know you well enough to know you probably save after every sentence.”

It was every paragraph but whatever. “This is kind of out of the way for you, what are you doing here?” I hadn’t seen him or spoken to him in exactly ten days. The idea that he had purposely sought me out just seemed too farfetched to be believed so I scolded myself not to even begin to read into his sudden appearance.

“I actually went by the bar. I ran into your roommate and she said told me you were probably here working on homework, Shaw we need to talk.” I had never heard him sound so serious, it made me nervous. I needed something to do with my hands so I picked up my drink and tried to hide behind it.

“I don’t think we do.” I was halfway certain he was going to say something that was going to make me want to chuck the lukewarm coffee at his head.

He raised the eyebrow that had the double silver bars in and leaned forward so that he was resting his elbow on his knees and staring directly into my eyes. There were interesting shadows dancing and flashing in the silver depths of his that I didn’t know what to make of, but he had never looked more enticing than he did in that moment.

“Come on. You really think things can go down like they did and we just pretend like it never happened?”

“Why not? It’s what we’ve been doing and it seems to be working just fine.”

“Shaw,” he sounded exasperated. “We are not going to have seriously awesome sex that of which just happens to be your first time and not talk about it. First off I want to know what you were doing with Remy for all those years if you weren’t sleeping together, that just doesn’t make any sense. I also want to know why you took off the next morning, you didn’t even me a chance to try and talk to you.”

I set the coffee down and pushed some of my hair out of my face, I leaned towards him so that I was almost in the exact same position he was. We were so close I could see each of his eyelashes as they brushed against his cheek when he blinked.

“I told you guys until I was blue in the face that Remy and I were just friends. We never, ever had any kind of romantic relationship. Our friendship was deep, it was powerful and intimate in a way Neanderthal males fail to understand, but it was never physical and I can’t believe you thought I would stick around after just to have you rush me out the door the next morning. I’ve seen you in action more times than I care to admit Rule, I wasn’t going to be another one of your morning after headaches. I have more pride than that.”

“But you were going to hold onto your virginity for twenty years and then just give it up to me for no apparent reason?” He sounded slightly put out which made grin.

“I had my reasons Rule.”

“And those would be?”

“For me to know. Look I didn’t ask you for anything after, I don’t expect anything from you so can’t we just get over it?”

“No we can’t.”

I reeled back a little bit and frowned at him. “What? Why not? We’ve known each other forever; this is just a thing that happened.” I flipped my wrist in a way I hoped was dismissive and went stock still as he grabbed my hand in his much larger one. I stared fascinated as the tattooed digits linked with my own.

“See this thing that happened,” his voice dropped a few octaves and I was suddenly acutely aware that the coffee shop was full and that for whatever reason we had garnered enough interest from the fellow patrons that several nearby tables were watching our interaction with rapt attention. “It wasn’t just some insignificant event that we can just ignore, believe me I tried. I went out Friday and met a smoking hot redhead.” I felt my face fold into a scowl as I tried to pull away from him. He smiled at me and used my trapped hand to pull me even closer. “Sadly it took maybe five minutes to realize that I was trying to use one girl to get another off my mind so I thought Saturday I would try for a blond or maybe a brunette, hell maybe both because my head was all twisted up by a chick it shouldn’t be.” I tugged on my hand but he just pulled me closer still so that he was practically whispering in my ear and that I was almost sitting on his lap. I had to use my free hand to brace myself on his hard thigh. It was way too intimate, way too familiar to touch him this way when I was trying to put distance between us and he was telling me about trying to take other girls to bed. “So Nash and I went out and there were redheads and there were brunettes and there was even a super-hot chick that looked kinda like Pink but you think any of them did it for me? No, Shaw not one because they weren’t f**king you and ever since you walked out on Sunday all I’ve been thinking of is you. Now why is that?”

His words made me shiver from the inside out. “Because it was new, because we have history and it makes it harder for you to keep me faceless and nameless, I don’t know Rule.”

He lifted a hand and ran his thumb across the rise of my cheek. I made my breath catch and my heart start to trip over itself.

“Whatever the reason it matters Shaw. It matters a lot.”

“What are you trying to say Rule?”

“I don’t know, all I know is other girls aren’t you and that isn’t cutting it for me so I think we need to figure out what’s going on between us.”

I shook my head a little and a silver flare lit up his pale gaze. “I’m not going to be one of many. Like I said I had my reasons for letting things happen the way they did, but if you think I’m signing up to be a bed filler because no one else is fitting the bill right now you are sadly mistaken. I know you Rule; I’ve known you since you first figured out girls were more complicated than boys and you’ve never wanted to put the work in.”