Rowdy (Marked Men #5)(47)
I recoiled and made a face. There was no way I would’ve ever let him put his hands on me if I was following in my sister’s sexual footprints. “No. I asked her about it all the time when they left for the same college. She never even let him steal a kiss.”
Royal threw her fall of auburn hair over her shoulder and leaned forward intently. “So whatever reason he had for popping the question had to have been pretty major and wasn’t driven out of true love. I’ve met Rowdy, I’ve seen him around other women. That is not a guy that is going to tie himself to a woman he hasn’t gone to bed with. No way in hell.”
“He says he loved her and she broke him.” I hated the pain I heard in my own voice when I forced the words out.
“Maybe he did but there are different kinds of love. Maybe he loved her like a sister or a best friend and he just didn’t know the difference. Maybe he was just trying to protect her. I’m not a detective yet but I can tell those things don’t add up. Especially not with the way he hustled you into bed the second you gave him a green light. If your sister was the one, he never really would’ve been able to get past the guilt taking you to bed would have caused. Rowdy’s a good man, all your guys are. Just because he’s telling you that your sister was one thing doesn’t mean she really was. Look at his actions not his words.”
Her words stung and not just because they were no-nonsense and matter-of-fact but because I knew that if I did what she said I would be the one that ended up crippled by guilt. His actions back then had been clear. He needed me, relied heavily on me, and even knowing that, I still had left. My own wants and needs had outweighed everything else at the time, and now, looking back on it, I realized that while I’d had to leave, there was maybe a better way for me to have gone about it. I let my dad force my hand, had given in to the pressure to run away from all the bad things instead of leaving on my own terms and taking a stand for the shards of good that were buried deep in the Texas soil. Rowdy and I had shared everything—given each other the support we needed to make it in a place neither one of us wanted to be. I should have talked to him, included him in my choice to leave. It still would have sucked, still would’ve stunned him, but he wouldn’t have felt like I just abandoned him. My actions were the ones that spoke volumes and in retrospect I hated it.
However, Royal was also right about the love he had for my sister possibly being something other than true love. He had never treated Poppy the same way he treated me. With her he had always been reserved and quiet—with me there were no boundaries and no shame. I just wasn’t sure what that meant now that I was asking him for so much more than his friendship.
Luckily I didn’t have to dwell on it for too long because Royal was on a roll and her attention switched to Ayden.
“What is your brother’s story?” Her interest seemed far more than casual or professional curiosity.
Ayden snorted.
“Asa’s story is one that takes place deep in a small Kentucky town, detours into juvie, drugs, girls, and general criminal pursuits and mayhem.” Ayden gulped and her hands curled into tight fists on the tabletop. “It almost ended with a brutal beatdown a little while ago because he decided to rip off a motorcycle club and they retaliated with baseball bats. He was in a coma and almost died. He’s never met a rule that applied to him or a law he didn’t want to break and it finally caught up with him.”
Shaw reached out and squeezed Ayden’s shoulder. When it was apparent the brunette was too full of emotion to go on, Cora picked up the rest of the tale.
“Ayden and Jet brought Asa back to Denver so that he could heal and get back on his feet. Much to everyone’s surprise Rome took an instant liking to him and put him to work in the bar. I think the Big Guy is keeping an eye on him because he’s worried Asa will fall back into his old ways but they have a really solid working relationship and Rome knows all about trying to rebuild a life from the ground up.”
It was clear she was proud of her gruff ex-solider for reaching out to Ayden’s troubled sibling.
Royal let out a dreamy sigh. “I could just stare at Asa all day.”
I had to agree. The Cross siblings were unbelievable to look at. I lifted an eyebrow at her and picked up my drink. “The cop and the criminal?”
She wrinkled her nose. “That sounds like a terrible title for a romance novel.”
Cora laughed. “Or a bad p**n o.”
“It doesn’t hurt to look, is all I’m saying.” Royal settled back in her chair and her dark eyes danced with merriment.
Ayden told her, “He won’t go anywhere near anyone with a badge. No matter how pretty you might be. He’s not exactly reformed. I’m not sure he ever will be.”
“He’s still breaking the law?” Now Royal’s attention was anything but cheeky and cute.
“No.” Ayden sighed heavily. “No, at least not that I know of, but Asa has impulse control issues and that never ends well. He’s happy here. He loves the Bar and he has gotten really tight with Rome and even Rowdy, but sometimes when opportunity comes knocking Asa has a hard time leaving the door closed no matter what’s waiting for him on the other side of it. That’s why I’m worried about what’s going to happen to him when Jet and I leave. I feel like part of the reason he’s been on the straight and narrow is because he knows I’m here watching.”