Rowdy (Marked Men #5)(45)
“I should have tried to keep in touch. I meant to but I was just overwhelmed and lost in my own way. You need to know that leaving you was hard. That leaving Poppy behind sucked, but I really did have to do it.”
I should tell him that he was wrong. I was absolutely scared of things back then. I was scared of never getting out of my house. I was scared that my life was always going to be full of endless rules and regulations. I was scared my sister was going to turn into my mother. And I had been scared for him. Scared he was going to get trapped into doing something he didn’t love, scared he was going to chase my clueless sister around forever, and scared he was going to let other people decide for him how he should live his life and what his passions should be. I was glad only a select few of those fears had been realized.
“I guess we all had to do things that we didn’t really want to do in order to make it to where we were supposed to be.” His voice was wistful and sort of smoky-sounding. I could hear a hundred different shadows filled with memories coloring it.
Since I was looking up at him, he leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. That was all it took to turn the moment from something dark and weighted with ghosts and regrets into something hotter, something crackling with desire and need. I wanted to tell him that was what moving forward into the good moments looked and felt like but I needed for him to figure that out on his own.
GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT ON THURSDAYS had changed a little over the last month. Cora couldn’t drink because she was breastfeeding, Shaw couldn’t drink because she was pregnant, and no one wanted to get too out of control and misbehave because Saint usually showed up with Royal, and even when Royal was off of patrol she was still a cop and that meant everyone tried their best to act right. I loved that all these sweet, strong women had invited me into the fold even before Rowdy and I had started hanging out and hooking up. They were an amazing group of women and the fact they believed I belonged among their ranks made me feel really accomplished and pretty proud of myself.
Instead of posting up at Rome’s bar or the dive that was next to the shop, Cora had made the executive decision for everyone to gather at a really nice restaurant that was a few blocks over from the new shop, and instead of doing shots until we all threw up, we ordered a bunch of appetizers and sipped on fancy martinis.
Cora was rolling her eyes at Shaw and telling her that she was going to murder Rome. It seemed that now that Rule was going to be a dad, a husband, and a homeowner, Rome was all over her to pack up the house they rented and move into a place they would buy. She swore up one side and down the other that there wasn’t anything wrong with the rental, Rome just couldn’t handle his little brother being more domesticated and settled than he was. She rolled her multicolored eyes and insisted that if he proposed out of pure competition she was going to shove the ring down his throat.
That bold statement had Ayden laughing and telling Cora that she knew for a fact Cora would snatch the ring up so fast Rome wouldn’t even get a chance to put it on her finger. That had the tiny blonde laughing and she didn’t deny it.
I looked at Saint and lifted an eyebrow at her. She and Nash were still pretty new in terms of being in a committed relationship, but they were obviously very much in love and meant to be together.
She just shook her head adamantly, the red and gold strands of her ponytail hitting her in her face. She blushed hotly. I knew she was shy and didn’t like being the center of attention, but she couldn’t help but smile when she talked about her sexy man. Nash was an interesting mix of sweetheart and badass. He was a good match for the lovely and quiet nurse.
“I just barely got my head wrapped around the fact that I have a boyfriend. Marriage, kids . . . none of that stuff is even on the radar yet. I’m probably going to go back to school and Nash is busy with the business expanding. We struggle to make time for each other as it is.”
Royal nudged her with a shoulder and wiggled her eyebrows up and down. “You won’t have to work as hard at making time if you move in with him like he’s been hounding you to do.”
Saint blushed even harder and glared at her friend.
“I’m going to.”
“What’s holding you back?” As always, it was Cora that had to be all up in everyone’s business.
Saint looked away and then sighed and looked back at the group. “I don’t want him to get sick of me.”
Dead silence met the statement and then Ayden started laughing so hard other diners in the restaurant turned to see what was going on. Once Ayden started, Shaw followed, and soon the entire table was chuckling, much to Saint’s chagrin.
Saint chomped down on her lower lip and fiddled with her hair. “It’s not that funny.”
Royal patted her friend on the shoulder. “I told you that you were being ridiculous. That boy is sprung on you. He would keep you in his pocket if he could.”
I nodded in agreement. “He would. He talks about how great you are, about how the new shop wouldn’t have gotten off the ground if it wasn’t for you. Just go for it. You don’t want to look back and realize you wasted time with someone that matters to you.”
That of course had all eyes on me, so I picked up the hot-pink drink in front of me and met Cora’s questioning gaze head-on.
“Are you speaking from experience, Salem?” There was laughter in her tone but something deeper as well. I knew she was really close to Rowdy, looked at him almost like a little brother, so I wasn’t going to play coy with her.