Riskier Business (Crossing the Line 0.5)(15)

“I will.” He thought of her tear-heavy eyes as she’d left their apartment last night. Pushing too soon could push her away. “When it’s time.”

…

Ruby left the workshop just as the sun started to set, beginning her twenty-minute trek across town to get home. Something stopped her at the subway entrance, when she normally would have walked right past. Fingers curled around the strap of her messenger bag, she stood watching rush-hour commuters descend the stairs leading underground, on their way to Brooklyn. She wasn’t ready to go home to Troy on the Upper East Side just yet. Their argument the night before still felt fresh, and frankly, she’d been too busy today to sort through her emotions. Or maybe she’d just been avoiding them. Either way, she needed more time.

Without giving herself a chance to reconsider, she joined the moving mass of people, swiped her MetroCard, and boarded the train toward her old neighborhood. The routine felt so familiar, yet incredibly different. Looking at her reflection in the sliding doors, she realized how much she’d changed. No pool stick strapped to her back. The trademark belligerent expression that had defined her seemed to have faded, too. She’d changed for the better, but she suspected if emotional baggage were a visible trait, it would still sit squarely on her shoulders.

When the train pulled into the Grand Army Plaza stop, she ducked under the arms of passengers holding on to the overhead bar for balance and stepped into the bustling station. A few short minutes later, she found herself across the street from her old apartment above the noodle shop. She must have been subconsciously heading there, but couldn’t decide why. Perhaps she needed a reminder of how far she’d come, remind herself what was at stake. Maybe she just needed to be somewhere familiar, to ground herself now that everything was spinning out of control again.

“You must be lost.” Another familiar voice. “The Upper East Side is back that way. Just follow the trail of Pilates instructors and Botox needles.”

She laughed for the first time that day. “What are you doing here, Bowen?”

“Some of us still live here, Rhubarb Pie.”

“Right.” As if on cue, they both leaned back against the stacks of newspapers on display outside the bodega. Ruby looked back across the street at her first permanent home, but she could feel Bowen’s eyes on her. “What?”

He took off his ball cap, ran a hand through his mane of dark blond hair, and replaced it. “Troy know you’re out here?”

“I don’t want to talk about him right now.”

“That’s a no.”

Ruby sighed. There was a time when she told Bowen everything, but it didn’t feel right talking to him about Troy. It would feel like a betrayal of confidence, especially when Troy had never felt comfortable with them spending time together. “So are you going to give me shit about accepting the match, too? That’s not why I came out here.”

“Why did you come here?”

“Hell if I know.” They laughed silently until Ruby grew serious once more. “You know what it’s like…growing up without a mom. Wouldn’t you jump at the chance to find out?”

Bowen shifted and looked away. “I don’t know. Where we come from, some things are better left staying a secret.”

“Curiosity killed the cat?”

He hummed in his throat. “Look, I know you’re getting it from all sides, so I’m only going to say this once.” His warm hand, knuckles covered in bruises, lay down on top of hers. “Don’t do it. If you agreed just to be stubborn, to show your father you’re not scared, swallow that pride and back out.”

She ripped her hand from beneath his. “You think you know me so damn well?” Even as she asked the question, she knew it was absurd. He knew her better than almost anyone.

A flicker of insecurity crossed his features. “Maybe not anymore. But I know all about how pointless it is trying to impress a father. They’re numb, Ruby. They don’t feel a goddamn thing.”

His words felt like a blow. “That’s not what this is about.”

“Fine.” He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and tapped one into his hand. “Subject closed.”

Ruby struggled to put out a flicker of guilt, but didn’t want to dwell on the subject. Her mind was made up. “How are things going for you here? With your father away.”

He took his time lighting the cigarette, then met her eyes, smoke curling around his lips. “Bad.”

A pit formed in her stomach. “Are you…running things now?” Bowen didn’t answer her, just continued blowing streams of smoke into the cool evening air, all but confirming her suspicion. Her actions of last year had helped the NYPD put Lenny Driscol, Bowen’s father and South Brooklyn’s notorious mob boss, behind bars on numerous charges, including her own attempted murder. Obviously, Bowen had been a victim of the fallout. Oh God, no. “I-is there anything I can do to help?”

Bowen shook his head. “Just can’t stay out of trouble, can you?” He threw an arm around her shoulders, pulled her up against his side. “I don’t know why we worry about each other at all,” he said on an exhale. “We’re survivors. We’ll just keep coming back for more.”

Ruby started to press, to tell him for the hundredth time that if they worked together, they could pull him out of the lifestyle, but something caught her eye. A police car pulled to a stop across the street. Not an unusual occurrence in this neighborhood, but she’d recognize the silhouette of the driver anywhere. Without thinking, she pulled away from Bowen, just as Troy exited the vehicle and slammed the door behind him.