Redwood Bend (Virgin River #18)(69)

“I’m having my baby, no matter what you want.”

“I wasn’t going to ask that! I was going to ask if there was any chance we could do it together.”

“Not likely, if I’m here and you’re in Hollywood,” she said.

He ran a hand over his head. “I figured as much.”

And like a mental collage, little snapshots of his childhood came to mind—his dad leaving when he was about five. A new man with a couple of weekend sons, older than Dylan, moving in. A new baby sister, another man leaving—but at least he took the weekend sons who had never missed an opportunity to pick on Dylan. He had weekend visits with his own dad but more often with his grandmother. His mother going away to make a movie, coming home six months later with a different man, this time with a stepdaughter older than Dylan and a new baby brother for his mother. That gave him five half sibs and just as many steps.

Katie lay down on her back again, her fingers laced over her abdomen. He looked down at that sweet face and knew it wouldn’t be that way with her. It still scared him to death, but he wasn’t afraid of her. But she had his baby in her and it was the idea that a single mother was better for that baby than an unhappy family life that scared him. He could not let his child have the kind of childhood he had. He just wasn’t entirely sure how to guarantee that.

He leaned over her and put a small kiss on her lips and she opened her eyes. “You don’t need a job, Katie. Your job is being a mother and you’re an excellent one. I’ll take care of the other details.”

She almost smiled but not quite. “Does this mean you’re actually happy?”

“Are you, Katie? Happy about it?”

“When I had time to think about it, yes. It’s inconvenient and I still have to deal with some of those early pregnancy issues, but if I had a choice, I wouldn’t change it. And I realize I do have a choice.”

“And how long have you had to think about it? How long have you known?”

“Maybe a week. Maybe a little less.”

“I have a favor to ask,” he said. “Let me have that much time to get to happy. I’m a little shocked. And a lot uncomfortable. But I’m not an idiot—no one takes care of you but me.”

She just looked at him for a long, meaningful moment and he knew there was so much missing from this situation. This must be so far from ideal in her eyes—he should mention marriage and love. There was a part of him that wanted to, even if he wasn’t completely sure yet.

“I guess that’s not too much to ask,” she finally said.

Good thing Katie wasn’t expecting an instant transformation from Dylan because she certainly didn’t get one. He appeared to be in the same place. The idea of fathering a child must be terrifying to him.

She remembered Charlie. Not long after their honeymoon, he had a field training mission with the army. They’d been married a whole month when he left for two weeks. When he returned he walked into their small apartment, dropped his duffel and yelled for her. Bellowed for her, which was what he typically did. Katie, baby, come get all over your man! He could be such a caveman. There was a part of her that craved that kind of attention, a part of her that wished he could be a little more civilized. She was so in love she ran to him. He smelled to high heaven, of stale perspiration, mud, two weeks in the field, God knew what all.

She flung herself into his arms, then flung herself out of his arms and ran for the bathroom where she proceeded to hover over the commode, really on the verge.

“I know I smell bad, but that’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think,” he said, standing in the bathroom doorway, unlacing his boots and stripping off his BDU. “Take it easy, I’ll get right in the shower.”

He was down to his fatigue pants, stinky bare feet and broad, delicious, tattooed chest, when she turned watering eyes up to him. “Charlie, I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, baby!” he said, falling to his knees to take her into his arms. “Baby…”

“Charlie!” she yelled. “Shower, for God’s sake! Please!”

“Yeah,” he said, rising and getting rid of what remained of his clothes. “You bet, baby. Then we’ll celebrate! Do pregnant women have sex?” he wanted to know as he turned on the shower.

He was one of a kind, that was for sure. It took a special woman to be married to Charlie Malone and his lifestyle. And it was going to take a lot of patience to make peace with Dylan Childress and draw him safely into her heart. She wondered if she had the time or the faith.

With her eyes closed, she thought about the differences between Charlie and Dylan…and their similarities. Both shockingly handsome, smart and confident men, at first glance you’d think they were alike. Beyond those obvious similarities they were opposites. Charlie was bold while Dylan was more reserved. Charlie grabbed what he wanted without the slightest hesitation while there were lots of emotional connections that still terrified Dylan. Charlie had waited a long time to really fall in love but once he recognized it, he was all in. Dylan had too many childhood ghosts to make that leap of faith.

Both men were phenomenal lovers; she could never have resisted either one of them.

She must have nodded off in the warm, beach sunshine because she felt Dylan curve around her. He was lying on his side, his arm casually crossing over her waist. His breath was warm on her ear and inhaled her scent, exhaling slowly. He nuzzled her softly. “Don’t fall asleep, honey,” he said. “We have to watch the time. The boys…”