Ready or Not (Ready #4)(42)

My romantic weekend hadn’t turned out to be exactly what I originally planned, but considering the events of the past week, I wanted to play it safe and go for a family-fun theme rather than a couples retreat.

I knew she was recovering, and I had decided that pressure—in any form at this point—was the last thing she needed.

“I’m going to go upstairs and play on the Xbox,” Noah announced, placing his cards on the table before stretching his arms above his head. He yawned loudly and then hopped up onto his feet.

I almost called him out on the fact that he hadn’t bothered asking for permission, but realizing he was leaving Liv and me alone for the first time all day, I gladly let him go.

“What do you want to do now?” I asked, turning toward her.

The sun was disappearing into the lake, sending shards of orange and yellow light in every direction.

“I’ve been dying to go into that hot tub ever since we arrived,” she said, her eyes meeting mine as she finished collecting the playing cards scattered in front of her.

My stomach knotted together as she spoke, and my dick twitched at the mere mention of us in a hot tub—alone.

“Sounds good.” The words tumbled out of my mouth before my brain could even register what was happening.

This was supposed to be a safe and low-key weekend. Nothing was supposed to happen.

I would never survive seeing her in a bikini, wet and nearly naked beside me.

It was too bad my body hadn’t realized that fact because I was already racing upstairs to change.

~Liv~

While Jackson changed in the guest bedroom, I pulled out my suit and began undressing. I let the fabric of my dress pool to the floor, and then I slowly removed my undergarments. As I put on my bikini in front of the large mirror, I stopped for a moment and just stared at the reflection in front of me.

I still looked like me, but I felt completely different.

If someone had told me a week ago that I would cower in front of an intruder, beg for mercy, and stand there completely motionless rather than fight back, I wouldn’t have believed it.

Since I’d walked away from my family, I’d been fighting and surviving each day on my own. It hadn’t been easy—at least, not in comparison to the life I once had. I had worked for everything I now had.

I was strong.

But in that moment, when I had seen the look in Victor’s eyes, I’d felt nothing but weakness.

Mia and everyone else had assured me it was a completely normal reaction. It had nothing to do with strength.

“I would have done the same thing,” she’d assured me.

Would she have though—with a family to protect at home? Wouldn’t she have fought back to protect those she loved rather than curl into a ball and do nothing?

I should have done something, anything.

Since those first few days out on my own, I’d never felt so helpless—until my eyes had collided with Jackson’s.

He’d made me feel safe and secure, and part of me had hated that. The independent and self-reliant part of me hadn’t wanted to depend on anyone—much less a man.

But the rest of me—the empty void that had missed so much while I was busy convincing myself I didn’t need love in my life—had wanted to cling to him desperately.

I let my arms wrap around the naked skin of my torso as I looked into my familiar brown eyes and wondered how anyone really knew who was the one.

I guessed that was what taking a leap of faith was—risking oneself in hopes of gaining something better.

I turned toward the door and headed downstairs.

I was ready for Jackson.

I was ready to leap.

“Are you okay, Jackson?” I watched him from across the bubbling hot water.

We’d been in the hot tub for a few minutes, and an eerie silence had settled between us. He’d seemed up to the idea of relaxing together and watching the moonlight shining over the lake but ever since I’d walked through the double doors and sunk into the water, he’d been on edge and almost twitchy.

“What?” he asked, his attention snapping up to me. “I’m good.”

“Then why do you feel so distant?”

“I’m not distant. Just quiet.” His eyes darted away again, and he focused on the lake, now nearly invisible under the dark sky.

Jackson nervously wrung his hands together, and I watched as he let out a deep breath that he must have been holding for far too long.

Why was he so nervous?

Moving forward, I rose from the water and took a few careful steps toward him, stealing his attention once again.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Bringing me here with Noah wasn’t your original plan, was it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Go Fish, roasting marshmallows—that wasn’t how this weekend was supposed to start?” I closed the remaining distance between us until my legs brushed up against the inside of his thighs.

The tender touch of his fingers trailed my thigh, curving toward the back to cup my ass.

“No,” he simply answered.

I swung my legs around to straddle his trim waist. His arms wrapped tightly around me and pulled me closer, every scorching inch seemingly bringing as much pain as pleasure. It was as if he were at war with himself, struggling to remain in control.

“Why? Why did you change your plans?”