Rainier Drive (Cedar Cove #6)(65)

“Yes,” she told him.

He didn’t look as if he believed her.

“Ian,” she said, smiling softly. “I couldn’t be happier. I love you and our babies so much, and Aaron is healthy and thriving. We live in a lovely home. My life’s never been better.”

“Babies,” Ian repeated carefully.

“Yes, babies.” Allison would always live in Cecilia’s heart, would always be her daughter.

“So we’re going to the cemetery today,” he said.

Cecilia had already purchased a small bouquet of flowers. She nodded. “I have every year. I couldn’t imagine not going.”

“Me, neither,” Ian concurred sadly. He yawned and turned away, then walked into the room with slow, measured steps. To her surprise, he sat down on the nearby ottoman, his shoulders slumped.

Cecilia leaned forward and placed her hand on his bare back, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He didn’t say anything for a long time. Long enough for her to recognize that he had something on his mind. Something that weighed on him.

“Ian?” she said. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer; instead, he stared down at the floor.

“Ian?”

“I’ve been transferred.”

The words hung in the air. Ian transferred?

Cecilia swallowed hard, trying to make sense of what he was telling her. Ian had been stationed at the same base for nearly six years, two more years than the usual four-year assignment. Those two extra years could be attributed to the fact that he’d moved from a submarine to an aircraft carrier.

After Allison’s death, the navy had given him a new duty assignment. Because Ian had been under the polar ice cap at the time of Allison’s birth, he hadn’t even known until his return that his daughter had been born, had died and already been buried. He’d suffered severe emotional trauma as a result.

“We have to move?” Cecilia asked, choking off an automatic protest. The day they’d come to view the house, Ian had said they couldn’t sign a full year’s lease. He’d said there was a rumor they might be transferred. Cecilia had known it was a possibility, only she’d convinced herself it wouldn’t really happen.

Ian had told her when they were first married that the navy might require frequent moves. But Cedar Cove was their home. It was where they’d met, where they’d fallen in love and married, and where they—

No. Bile rose in the back of her throat. Their daughter was buried here. A transfer meant they’d be leaving Allison behind.

“I put off telling you as long as I could,” he mumbled. “I was afraid one of the other wives would say something, and I didn’t want you hearing this from anyone else. The George Washington’s new home base is San Diego.”

“Just like that, we have to pack up and leave?” she said in a small voice.

He nodded. “I’m sorry, Cecilia.” He shrugged helplessly. “There’s nothing I can do.”

“What about Allison? Who’ll visit her grave? Who’ll make sure it’s properly taken care of if we’re not here?” Fears and denials crowded her mind but she quickly swallowed a cry of alarm. This had to be hard on Ian, too, and her dissolving into tears wouldn’t change anything.

“I don’t know what to tell you. All I can say is that the navy’s sending us to another duty station. When I signed my name on the enlistment agreement, I knew this was bound to happen sooner or later. You knew it, too.”

Cecilia did. Two weeks ago, her closest friend, Cathy Lackey, had revealed that her husband had received transfer papers that would send the small family to Scotland. Cecilia and Cathy had shed a lot of tears, but they’d vowed to keep in touch through e-mail and letters. Cecilia was determined to hold on to that precious friendship.

“What about the house?” she asked next. They’d only just settled in; the packing boxes were still in the garage. Cecilia loved this house, and so did Ian. “I thought we might own it one day.”

“I know.” Her husband sounded as miserable as she felt. “We are on a month-to-month agreement, though. I’ve already spoken to Mrs. Harding. She was disappointed, too, but she understood.”

Cecilia hardly knew what to say. She’d be walking away from the friends she’d made, the daughter she’d buried, the job she enjoyed and the teenage girl she’d befriended. Everything—her whole life—was here in Cedar Cove.

“You’ll like San Diego,” Ian said gamely.

“I’m sure I will,” she murmured with no particular enthusiasm.

When Ian spoke again, his voice was void of emotion. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I know how much you love it here.” He paused. “If you wanted, you could stay,” he suggested with obvious reluctance. “I could make the commute for a while. I’m at sea for six months—and, well, there are ways around this if you don’t feel you can uproot your life and leave Allison.”

“Oh, Ian.” That would be disastrous for their marriage. She needed to be with her husband, regardless of where he was assigned. They were a family.

“Is that what you’d like to do?” he asked, his eyes intense and sad as he studied her.

“I hate leaving Cedar Cove,” she said softly, rubbing her hand down his bare back. “But Ian, don’t you see? I could never live apart from you.” She managed a shaky laugh. “At least, not any more than the navy already requires.”