Rainier Drive (Cedar Cove #6)(64)

“It was a mistake for me to come to Wyoming,” she said without looking at him.

Cal couldn’t let her think that. “No. You’ve been a real asset.” He began to remind her of everything she’d done for the mustangs, but she stopped him.

“It was a mistake for other reasons,” she said. “I’m sorry, Cal.”

She still hadn’t looked at him.

He swallowed hard. He refused to believe that she shouldn’t be there—or that she was sorry. Although he’d been careful to avoid touching her, he couldn’t keep from doing so now. He placed his hand on her shoulder and watched as her eyes drifted shut, as if she, too, was fighting their strong physical attraction. “I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he whispered.

“I’m going to turn in for the night,” she said.

“Don’t,” he pleaded. “Not yet.” He moved closer, stroking her hair with his other hand.

“You don’t understand!” she said, breaking free.

“Understand what?” Despite the desire to pull her back into his arms, he let her step out of his embrace.

“What?” he pressed.

She held his gaze until her own eyes filled with tears. “You really don’t know, do you?”

He frowned. “Know what?”

“Oh, Cal, how could you be so blind? I’ve been in love with you for two years!”

She couldn’t have shocked him more if she’d poked him with a cattle prod. His mouth fell open, but he couldn’t speak for at least a minute. He just gawked at her.

“You never let on,” he said numbly.

“How could I?” she asked, jerking her hand across her face, smearing the tears. “I…I didn’t know how, and then you started seeing Linnette and she’s so lovely and I’m—well, I’m not. Why do you think I didn’t want to go on this trip at first?”

Cal hated to appear dense, but apparently he was exactly that. “I—thought it had s-something to do with your office.”

“I only said that because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to hide my feelings, and now look what’s happened.”

“What’s happened,” Cal said, exhaling sharply, “is that I’ve fallen in love with you, too.”

He had no idea how Vicki would accept this news; however, he didn’t expect her to lash out with her fist and clobber him in the chest. “Don’t you dare say that to me, Cal Washburn! Don’t you dare!” She punctuated each word with another solid punch.

“Ouch.” Cal backed away and rubbed his chest, confounded by the vehemence of her attack. “Ow, dammit. What did you do that for?”

“Don’t you touch me again, either.”

“I thought—I hoped you shared my f-feelings.”

“I do,” she muttered, “but that doesn’t change the fact that Linnette’s in Cedar Cove patiently waiting for your return. What about her? She loves you, too.”

Cal felt the color drain from his face. Vicki was right. He had no business declaring his feelings or kissing her until he’d resolved the situation with Linnette. The problem was, he had no idea how to do that.

Twenty-Seven

Memorial Day, Cecilia got up early, even before Aaron woke her for his feeding. Not wanting to disturb Ian, she got quietly out of bed and pulled on her robe. Then she tiptoed into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. The clock on the microwave told her it was barely five. Nevertheless she was wide awake.

A quick check on the baby assured her that Aaron was sound asleep. Taking these few moments to herself, savoring the silence, Cecilia poured a mug of coffee and sat in her favorite chair in the living room. She was happy, she realized, truly content with her life. Memorial Day was a little less sad this year, mostly because she had Aaron. For the past six years she’d dreaded this day because it reminded her of the most profound loss she’d ever experienced—the death of her daughter, Allison. For six years, her arms and her heart had ached for the baby she’d held so briefly. Her son would never replace Allison, but she loved him just as much. Her grief no longer seemed as raw, as overwhelming.

A year ago on Memorial Day, when Cecilia was still pregnant with Aaron, and Ian had been at sea, she’d driven out to the cemetery and placed flowers on Allison’s gravesite. The loss of her little girl still affected her, and Ian, too, although he wasn’t as willing to discuss the subject as she was. Every now and then in the middle of the night, he’d reach for her and they’d talk about Allison. She could never doubt Ian’s love for the daughter he’d never seen or held.

“Cecilia?” Ian said groggily. He stood in the hall doorway wearing his pajama bottoms. “What are you doing up so early?”

“I was awake and it’s such a lovely morning, I decided to get up.” She was hoping to do a bit of yard work later, after they’d been out to the cemetery. She’d started tending the garden and hoped to coax Grace’s rosebushes and perennials back to vibrant life. She longed to show the Hardings how well she and Ian were caring for the house and yard.

“It’s only about five,” Ian said.

“I know. Why don’t you go back to bed?” She had plans for him later and didn’t want him telling her he was too tired.

“Are you all right?” he asked, sounding worried.