Promise Canyon (Virgin River #13)(83)

"If I ever get the chance, I'll do what I can." Clay put out a big hand. "Thank you."

"I might've just made it worse...."

"Your loyalty to Lilly is a good thing. You are a very good friend to her. It isn't always easy to be honest--there's risk. If I can get her back, I might have you to thank."

"My pleasure," Dane said.

Clay walked out of the coffee shop to his truck. Dane watched his departure with a myriad of emotions--pleasure, wonder, admiration, perhaps desire--that tall, straight height; long black braid; wide shoulders. After Clay had backed out of his parking space and driven away, Dane collapsed onto the countertop. "Oh. My. God," he said very softly. "Whew."

Lilly couldn't decide whether Dane had hurt her feelings, infuriated her or disappointed her....

Until she realized with sudden clarity that he was right!

For a young woman who despised weakness, she had been a wimp. A spineless victim. She should have realized long ago that the only thing to do about that old broken heart was to let it teach her what she wouldn't stand for in a relationship, rather than let it keep her from ever taking a chance on one. And while she might've wished Clay had opened up about everything that had ever happened in his life before she found out in other ways, there hadn't really been enough time for that--they were too new. And not only that, she hadn't yet opened up to him! He needed to know the kind of childhood hurts that got in the way of her committing to a man as powerful, as beautiful as he was. She was terrified that she didn't deserve him, wouldn't be able to hold on to him.

She had been at least as wrong as Clay. And it needed to be faced directly, with courage and not self-pity.

She could call Clay at once and tell him that she'd had a revelation, that she was ready to talk. But she wanted to think it through a bit first, figure out what she'd say to him, what she'd ask him.

She went to work at the feed store and got a lot of thinking done while she worked at her computer, keeping the accounts. She also wanted to talk to Dane, tell him she wasn't angry over their fight.

But she'd rather look him in the eye and tell him she'd heard him loud and clear and had faced Clay. It would be better still if she could go to the coffee shop and tell Dane that they'd been able to work things out.

She left the feed store a bit early and drove to the clinic. While she was on her way there she realized that there were other people to make amends with--she'd refused to confide in Annie, who she loved and trusted. And she'd neglected Blue, who had brought her so much happiness.

When she got to the clinic and saw that Clay's truck was gone, she almost sighed in relief. At least that would give her some time to talk to Annie and take Blue out on the trail and bond with her anew.

She found Annie and Nathaniel in the clinic office.

"Lilly!" Annie said, jumping to her feet excitedly. "Oh, thank God you're here! I've been worried sick about you!"

Lilly hugged Annie while Nate looked on. "I'm so sorry, Annie. I didn't mean for you and all our plans to be collateral damage from my falling-out with Clay." She held Annie away from her. "My fault, Annie. I think I went off the deep end. That woman--Isabel--her showing up like that had me so jealous and crazy, I practically hid under the bed. I've refused to talk to Clay, even though he's called a couple of dozen times. I apologize for how it must've hurt you."

"Are you going to talk to him now?" Annie asked. "Because he's completely miserable."

Lilly nodded. "Will he be back soon?"

"I don't know where he went, but he should have his cell phone. Want me to call? Tell him you're here?"

Lilly shook her head. "Maybe if he's not back in an hour or so. For right now I just need to see Blue. I'll take her out for a ride and when I get back, Clay will probably be here." She laughed a bit ruefully. "Here's how crazy that man made me--I was going to give up everything I love because I was too mad at him to listen to his explanations. I never thought I was that unreasonable."

"You must have had a reason...."

"Sure I did--I was scared to death! I didn't think I could bear it if the whole thing went south. There was a part of me that thought it would be easier to run for my life!" She shook her head and shrugged. "I think when you love someone, it can make you lose your mind."

Annie smiled at her. "Well, it seems like you found it." She hugged her. "Welcome home."

Jack Sheridan was behind the bar when Denny came in. He gave him a friendly smile. Jack had to give him credit--the kid was pretty smart. He didn't make himself too obvious around the home property--he got out in the morning, went job hunting, dropped by the bar for dinner and insisted on paying for his meals. Jack was sure Denny made it a point not to impose. Frankly, he liked him...liked having him around.

"How'd the job search go today?" Jack asked.

"Not bad. Filled out a lot of applications, met a lot of nice people. To tell the truth, I could take a simple job to tide me over while I look for something better, but I'm afraid it might cut into my searching time. How about a beer, sir?"

"Sir?" Jack laughed. He poured a fresh draft for his new friend. "What kind of jobs, just out of curiosity?"

Denny accepted his beer. "Well, there's a private school over in Redway that needs to replace its custodian and fortunately the old guy is still there, so he could give me some tips and training. Not that the Marine Corps didn't give me some fine tips on getting things straight--I just don't feel like using a toothbrush on floor tiles, if you get my drift. Thing is, it's minimum wage and full-time--when would I look for something better? And I wouldn't want to take the job and have them count on me, only to leave them in the lurch the second something better comes along. There are lots of jobs like that--good, hard, solid work that can't pay the rent." Then he grinned. "I realize I have a break right now and it totally embarrasses me that you won't take rent money, but I do have to think ahead. If the police or fire departments were hiring, I'd qualify and I guarantee you I'd pass their exams and do great in their academies, but..." He shrugged.