Promise Canyon (Virgin River #13)(82)

"I was trying to cushion the rejection. I kissed her forehead and said that I would always love her. I didn't get any further than that before Hurricane Lilly blew in and out of the barn."

Dane tilted his head. "Forehead?" he asked.

Clay gave a short nod. "I wanted to get her back on the road with a minimum of drama. I had already told her there was a woman in my life. I was trying to say that while I'd always love her, have affection for her, I was moving on to a new relationship and she would have to move on, too. But I didn't avoid the drama, after all--by the time I did send her on her way, it was not with affection. Or kindness." He shook his head.

"Forehead?" Dane asked again.

"Yes," Clay confirmed. "It was the kiss you'd give a sister. It was the love you'd give a sister. But I take that back--if Isabel was my sister, I would be insane by now."

A half smile flirted with Dane's lips. "Well, I got the impression it was a passionate, sweaty, sloppy, lip-lock."

Clay frowned. He shook his head.

"But there's that other thing--the ex told Lilly you'd been involved for a long time after the divorce..."

"Correct," he said with directness. "We didn't live together, but it was not a clean break. Bad judgment on my part--I admit that. But that was one of the reasons I took the job with Nathaniel. That postdivorce relationship wasn't a very satisfying place for me to be. I needed distance from Isabel. Of course I meant to level with Lilly, but honestly, I didn't see what that had to do with us. Isabel and I were over. That was before Lilly came into my life and it was over."

"I think my friend Lilly is going a little nuts." He tilted his head and peered at Clay. "You know, if you're lying about this and just trying to find a way to juggle two women at the same time, I could think of terrible things to do to you...."

"Don't be ridiculous," Clay said. "Why the hell would I want two? One at a time is proving far more than I can handle!"

"Lilly said this Isabel is rich and beautiful. I think poor Lilly was intimidated by her...and her horse trailer...."

"Lilly is rich and beautiful. Isabel's life is cluttered and heavy. She can barely breathe. And her beauty is a full-time job. Lilly's beauty is from here," he said, splaying his fingers across his chest.

"Ohhhh," Dane said, sighing and nearly swooning before he could stop himself. He cleared his throat. "I guess when a girl like Lilly sees the man she loves kiss another woman, no matter how innocently, she sees passion and true love even if that's not what it is."

Clay was quiet for several beats before he said, "A girl like Lilly?"

"Oh, you know," Dane said. "She's young, she's pretty innocent, she has her baggage.... She took a big chance on you and then--"

"What baggage?" Clay asked.

Dane shrugged and glanced away. Without looking at Clay, in a quiet voice he said, "She had a romance go rotten when she was younger...."

"She mentioned that. But then, hasn't everyone?"

"Have you?"

Clay smirked. "Everyone," he repeated.

"What kind of terrible romance did you have?" Dane asked, leaning an elbow on the counter and his chin in his palm.

"Is that relevant?"

"It could be," Dane said. "Try me."

"I had a girlfriend when I was a teenager. We had a child. She wanted to give him up, but I raised him with the help of my parents."

That shot Dane up straight. "No kidding?"

"Gabe is seventeen now," he said. "It was a misstep with a very positive outcome. He's living in Grace Valley with my sister, working at the clinic part-time, and I see him every day. Finally, after all these years of working away from the reservation and only visiting and talking to him on the phone. Now, about Lilly..."

Dane took Clay's coffee cup and refilled it for him. He took a breath. "Much as I want to tell you what I know, I'd better watch it. Lilly's on shaky ground right now, trying to figure everything out. I'll tell you this--she was very young. The boy was older and he was a handsome Navajo--damn your luck. He hurt her very badly, Clay. Her grandpa saw that as a good time to move her away, but... But how many times can a girl be rejected, abandoned, before it really takes its toll?"

"Was there more than one guy?" Clay asked.

"No. But she never knew her father, her mother left her with her grandparents, her grandmother died when she was just a little girl, the boy dumped her...very cruelly, she was moved out of her home, and..." He coughed into his fist, stopping himself. He was going to be in enough trouble; he wasn't saying any more. "There are circumstances around the whole thing that I think Lilly should be the one to tell you about. I think Lilly has had too many losses and was playing it safe. Taking a chance on you was a big gamble."

Clay stared into his cup for a moment. Then he stood up, pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and put a few bills on the counter.

"Come on," Dane said. "It's on the house."

"Everyone has to make a living," Clay said.

"What are you going to do?" Dane asked.

"I don't know. But I'm not letting her go."

"Good. I was hoping you'd feel that way. And if you do get it fixed, maybe you could put in a good word for me. I chewed her little ass good--for being a baby about this and refusing to speak to you."