Primal Law (Alpha Pack #1)(47)

He fought down a surge of embarrassment. "That's another thing-I had to be with her. To-to mate with her, I guess is the right word, and it couldn't happen fast enough. I wanted to sink my teeth into her neck, Melina, to taste her blood! I didn't, though, and the need to take her again and follow through this time is driving me insane! What the f**k is wrong with me?"

"Jax," she said gently. "What you've described is exactly what Terry went through before he took me as his mate. Once he bit me during sex, the symptoms disappeared."

"Oh, God." He closed his eyes, slumping in his chair. This was what he'd been afraid of, the very thing he dreaded.

"There's something else."

He shuddered to imagine. "What?" Opening his eyes, he took in her grim expression.

"Once he mated with me, he was never able to become aroused by another female. It was physical, as though the mating rendered him incapable."

"But . . . Christ, you mean it's irreversible? And we have no say in who we're mated with? That fate or genes or whatever the hell decides for us? That's totally screwed up!"

She studied him for a long moment before answering. "I think that's the negative way to view it. I prefer to believe that shifters will experience these symptoms when they meet the one who's perfectly suited to them. The one who completes them in every way."

"Like you and Terry?" he blurted.

"Well, almost perfectly. He bit me, but I never turned into a shifter. He felt a bond with me that he claimed was like a slim golden thread, but I never felt it with him. I'm not sure we were true Bondmates, but we were happy."

A stab of remorse went through his gut like a bayonet. Happy until I fell for a whore who led us all into a trap and got your husband murdered. And then I had the ability to bend time, change what happened, and failed to use it.

That last fact was his greatest shame. His horror to bear.

But Melina had never blamed anyone. Not even Jax.

"Do you think Kira is my Bondmate?" he managed.

"Only one way to know for sure."

"Bite her."

"Yes. However, if you do and she's not your mate, you still run the risk of turning her into a shifter. You'd have to make certain it's what she wants either way."

He swiped a hand down his face in aggravation. "What a nightmare. And if I don't?"

"You might recall that Terry got really sick before he finally gave in and took the plunge, so to speak. His powers were almost drained and he was so ill he almost waited too late to bite me."

"Are you saying he nearly died?"

"No, but as a doctor who saw his rapid decline, I fully believe he would have if he'd waited a few more days. And you should know that once he mated with me, his abilities vanished for weeks. They did come back eventually, but we didn't know if they would."

Jax hadn't known that. He doubted the others did, either. The news was unwelcome and quite frightening. He didn't want fate, genetics, or anything else picking his mate. Fuck, he didn't want a mate at all!

"I need time to process this," he said. "You've answered my questions."

"And you answered mine." She stood at the same time he did and rounded her desk, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Take some ibuprofen for your sore throat. Would you like a sample of Benadryl capsules for the itching? I don't know that it will help much, if any, but it's worth a try."

"I'd take anything to get rid of it," he muttered, scratching his stomach.

"I know," she said in sympathy. "It'll all work out. You'll see."

"I'm not sure about that, but I appreciate the pep talk, short and sweet as it was."

A trace of humor lightened the starkness of her features. "Anytime."

After she fetched a bottle of the medicine, he told her good-bye and headed out, scanning the reception area for Kira. Of course she'd been waiting for her new buddy earlier-the one who looked like a frigging otherworldly runway model-and was now long gone.

And that made him seriously want to kick some faery ass.

Kira was sitting at one of the big oak tables in the dining room, eating lunch and talking with Mackenzie and Sariel when Jax stalked in, looking hotter than sin and loaded for bear. His steely gaze immediately focused on the Fae prince sitting next to her and narrowed, and he made a beeline straight for them, situating himself in a chair next to Mac and across from Kira.

"Mind if I join you guys?" His tone said he didn't care whether they did or not. Spying the sandwiches and chips served family style in the middle of the table, he grabbed a paper plate from the stack and began filling it.

"Only if you can put up with a nosy busybody like me," she lobbed back.

"Hey, I tried to apologize for that." He stuffed a bite of sandwich in his mouth as her companions looked on with great interest.

"Maybe not hard enough."

Setting the sandwich on his plate, he looked at her earnestly, ignoring their audience. "Listen, I am sorry. I was only concerned about you putting yourself in a dangerous situation again. If you say you won't, then I believe you."

He sounded sincere, and his gaze held hers, steady and serious. And it had never been in her nature to hold on to irritation for long. "Then I accept your apology. For the record, I'll try not to trespass or do anything else to put myself in harm's way."