Player's Princess (A Royal Sports Romance)(89)

"I'm so sorry."

"I know."

"I can't fix what I've done overnight, can I?"

"No. You're my mother and I love you, but I…." I pause. What do I say? "I don't really like you."

She whimpers softly for a while.

"Could that change?"

I think about that for a time, then hug her a little tighter.

"Yes. Maybe."

"The truth is, I want to abdicate. Now. I want you to take over. I don't want to be queen anymore. That isn't fair to you, though, is it?"

"I need to finish my education." I sigh.

She sits up and looks at me warmly.

"You will be a better queen than I was." She wrings her hands. "Do you think you'll marry him?"

"Am I allowed? He has no noble blood."

"I could issue a decree. Change the rules."

"Could you?"

"I'm the queen. I can do whatever I want."

I eye her.

She cracks a thin, hesitant smile. "Right?"

I shrug.

"Will you wait while I dress? I'd like to meet your boy."

"His name is Jason."

"Yes. Ah. Jason. I'd like to meet him."

"I'll wait."

She gets up and stands to her full height. I doubt my mother will ever stoop. Her back is straight as an arrow. When she walks I can visualize her balancing a book on the top of her head.

I wait while she steps into her changing room and emerges clean, her face cleansed of the runny makeup. She never wore much and now she looks the same as ever, but there is something different in her eyes. She looks broken, in a way, but relieved, like she's been carrying something for years and years and finally just up and dropped it.

Mother gives me a questioning look, holding a dress in her hands. Without a word I stand up and step behind her, help her pull it on, then lace it up the back for her. She wears her hair loose to her waist, and it unnerves me to see it. She looks so much like me that I could be gazing into a mirror. I've never seen her wear her hair down; she always wore it in a bun or a braid.

We both look at the crown resting on a tufted velvet pillow near the bed. She reaches for it but pulls her hand back, like she remembers at the last moment that a stove is hot. Then she walks out of the room and leaves it behind.

I catch up to her in the hall. Thorlief is waiting outside. She touches his arm with her hands.

"Come with us."

At the foot of the stairs, Jason is waiting. Mother walks up to him, and he awkwardly bows before she stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

"We will need to teach you to do that properly at some point," she sighs.

"So, um, Your Majesty?" he says.

"My name is Karen. Call me that."

"Karen. Uh, hi. I'm dating your daughter."

Her eyes narrow. "Against my wishes."

"Mother," I groan.

Jason scratches at his head. "Well, about that, ah…."

"Thank you. She needed it. I must tell you something."

"Yes?"

Mother points to Thorlief.

"If you hurt her I'm going to have him kill you. Violently."

Jason nods. "Uh, right."

Mother then takes his arm. "Let's have tea, but first we have an announcement to make."

She leads us through the castle, to the throne room where all the ministers of state have gathered to hear her decree.

A chill shocks my body, like I've been thrown into the ocean in the heart of winter. I turn slowly, clutching Jason's hand to keep me from sinking into the freezing sea.

Mother stands straight as an arrow.

Her eyes are stern and hard.

"As your queen, I formally announce my abdication from the throne. I will surrender my crown and titles to my daughter at such time as she completes her education in America." She swallows, hard. "Further, I am issuing a royal decree. The prince or princess may choose their consort as they will, without regard to birth, station, status, or nationality."

My mother sobs.

"I'm sorry Ana," she chokes out, "I didn't mean it."

I raise my hands to Jason's cheeks. "Can you give me a minute alone with her?"

He nods. "Take all the time you need, honey. I'm probably off the team now."

I rise up and kiss his cheek.

Jason does what I never thought he would. He bows to me before he steps out, never once turning his back. My brother must have told him about that.

Suddenly I am alone in the throne room with Mother and Thorlief.

He starts to leave, and she catches his wrist.

"Stay," she says. "Ana." Her voice is thick with emotion.

"Why now?" I ask her. "After all this, why now?"

"I saw the look on your face when he entered the room. Your boy."

"His name is Jason, and he's not 'my boy.' He'll be your son-in-law."

She swallows hard. Her throat bobs.

"I saw the look on his face. It was like… it was like…." she trails off. "I'd forgotten what it looked like."

Her eyes fall on Thorlief, then rip away.

"I forgot what it felt like. It all came rushing back to me. No. No I can't take that away from you. I need you, Ana. I need you to succeed me and rule our people."