Play It Safe(51)

So having a job, a place, a boyfriend and a routine wasn’t boring.

But it was beautiful.

Until last night and it wasn’t Bud Sharp or Cecily or Mustang making my life not what I wanted it to be.

It was Casey.

And, after last night, I hated to admit it because I owed him everything. But for a long time, making my life be nothing I wanted it to be had been all Casey.

* * * * *

It was quarter to eight, fifteen minutes before Gray was due in but also after the dinner rush. Folks ate early in Mustang, the dinner rush starting at five and ending at seven. Then things got quiet and it was just Janie and me and a few regulars until, on weeknights, around nine thirty, ten, Janie saw things pick up but not so much she couldn’t handle it on her own. On the weekends, it was a different story but she had another girl who worked part time to help her out with that.

I was days. Or days until eight which was mostly days and evenings.

So it was quiet, me on the outside of the bar and Janie on the inside, shooting the breeze and there were only four other people in the bar.

I was winding down from work but winding up to see Gray. We’d been together a month but I was right. I wasn’t used to him or his beauty. I looked forward to it all day. I started getting excited about it when it got close then felt the splendor of it when he finally walked through the door.

And this escalated after our relationship became physical.

Since she didn’t mind sharing personal stuff with me, I tested the waters and I told Janie about it. When I did, she told me having an orgasm your first time was so unusual, it was exceptional.

“Though,” she went on quietly, “not surprised that a man like Gray gave that to you. What I will say is that I sure am glad you gave a man like Gray what you had to give him.”

It must be said I really, really liked Janie.

The first time being great, it kept getting better. Gray told me his father taught him patience and I learned that to be true. I didn’t know who taught him gentleness but that was true too, out of bed as well as in it. Nudity, touching, tasting, sharing, kissing, holding and making love was safe with Gray. I didn’t feel self-conscious, not ever. He communicated, not with words most of the time, with his eyes, his hands, his mouth. He guided. He taught. He listened. He paid attention. He discovered what I liked (and we both enjoyed it, me more, obviously) and he showed me what he liked (and we both enjoyed it, him more, hopefully).

And it just kept getting better and better.

Janie told me that, too, was unusual.

So I looked forward to Gray, to talking to him, to being with him then cuddling with him and finally being with him.

And I looked forward to it a lot.

So I was in a good mood, in a good place, fifteen minutes away from Gray and unprepared for Casey to storm into the bar.

But even if he’d come in at high noon and I had hours to wait for Gray I would have been unprepared. Because even though Gray met him at the diner like he said and gave him five hundred dollars of his own money (something we had quiet words about and he refused to allow me to do it, I didn’t like it but it clearly meant something to him so I let him), I hadn’t seen Casey since that day at Gray’s.

And also because I was not then nor ever would be prepared for what Casey would do and say to me.

It went like this.

He walked right up to me, manner hurried, things on his mind, places to be. I knew him well so I knew that.

I just didn’t know what was on his mind, where he wanted to be and I would never have guessed he would take for granted wherever that place was, it would be with me.

When he made it to me, he said, “Come on, Ivey, let’s go.”

I stared at him and asked, “Where?”

“It’s f**kin’ cold up here. Tired of cold. I’m thinkin’ southern California, San Diego or maybe Tucson.”

San Diego or Tucson?

“What are you talking about?” I asked, so caught in my new life, what he was saying didn’t dawn on me.

He focused more on my face. “Next stop. San Diego. Tucson. Maybe Phoenix. Pack your shit. We’re on the road tonight.”

Was he crazy?

“Casey,” I said softly, “I’m not going to San Diego or Tucson. I’ve got a job. An apartment. I’m not going anywhere.”

That was when he really focused on me.

Then he declared, “Yeah you are. You’re comin’ with me.”

It hit me belatedly that his relationship with the mystery Mustang woman had crashed and burned.

“Oh Casey,” I whispered, moving to him, “did you break up with your girl?”

He jerked up his chin, eyes hard, hiding emotion he didn’t want anyone to see but I knew him. He couldn’t hide from me.

“Bitch ousted me. Just like that. Said pack your bags, out tonight. So I packed my bags, I’m out, we’re on the road and this shithole is in our dust.”

I studied him and I saw he wasn’t lying when he talked about her after they met. He liked her. And he was hurt.

“If you guys have had a fight, maybe you should give her a night to cool down. Go see her tomorrow. Talk it out,” I advised.

“Ivey,” he snapped, “you’re not listenin’ to me. We’re gone.”

“Honey, seriously, give her the night.”

“Yeah, give her the night,” he hissed sarcastically then went on in the same vein. “You gonna let me crash on your couch? Oh, I know, your friendly cowboy’ll let me crash at his pad.”