Paradise Valley (Virgin River #7)(58)

Abby held the door open for him. Her face was bright; she was all stirred up. So happy. “You saw them?”

“They’re half hidden in the trees, but I saw.”

“Mel said this was an enchanted cabin. I guess she’s right.” She went to the kitchen window, leaning across the sink the best she could to look out. She could feel him move up behind her and put his arms around her. His hands instinctively rested on her belly. The kids were still now. Of course. Their parents were awake.

He leaned forward and inhaled the scent of her hair, breathing deeply. She let her eyes drift closed.

“I have to tell you something,” he said. She started to turn around and he said, “No, just stay like this.” He gently massaged her belly. “There’s something I should have told you from the beginning, Abby. I didn’t mean to mislead you, but I was afraid if I was completely honest, you’d never agree to move into the same house with me.”

She closed her eyes tight. He’d been lying beside her in bed at night; she’d felt him draw her closer, fondle her in his sleep. She knew he didn’t realize what he was doing, but she was more than aware. That had never been part of their plan. He was going to tell her now that’s not how it was supposed to be between them. “Okay,” she said softly.

“At night, when I’m beside you, holding you…”

Oh, here it comes, she thought. Don’t cry, don’t cry. It’ll be worse if you cry.

“I’ve been a little carried away in my sleep,” he said. “I apologize. I didn’t intend to do that, but you have to know the truth. It’s not just when I’m asleep that I have that urge. That reaction.” He took a deep breath. “The truth is, I have that impulse all the time. I respond to you.” He took a breath. “Boy, do I.”

“Huh?”

“God, I hope this doesn’t make you angry or really offend you. But you should know—I get turned on by you all the time. All I have to do is see your eyes, smell your skin, touch you, even innocently. And I just about go out of my mind. My feelings haven’t changed one bit since that first night I met you. The second I touched you, it was like an explosion under my skin. I told you I wanted us to be friends, but the truth is, I’ve always wanted so much more than that. Abby, the truth is, I had ulterior motives. I thought if I got you under the same roof with me, I could get you to fall in love with me.”

She was quiet for a moment. Finally she said, “You’re just overwhelmed by the thought of parenthood. You said, even before we kissed, you wanted a family.”

“I do. I have for years. But I’ve met a lot of women who could have been mothers to my children, who would have volunteered for the job. And I’ve just never felt like this. When morning came in that Grants Pass hotel, I didn’t want to let you go. Ever. You just plain turn me on. Every bit of you—your laugh, your scent, your eyes, your hands, your soft hair…your mouth. When I look at your mouth, I almost lose my mind with lust.”

A small huff of laughter escaped her. “Are you crazy?”

“A little bit, yeah. I guess I thought that big belly with my babies inside would cool me down, but it didn’t. But you don’t have to worry. I’ll live with my feelings and not expect you to reciprocate them. And I will help you and keep you safe, just as I promised. I give you my word, Abby, I’ll never lose control.” He took his hands off her belly and grasped her upper arms, squeezing them. “I should probably go back to sleeping in the loft. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Or worried.”

“Oh?”

“Listen, I’m damn grateful that you’re willing to try to cohabit so we can get to know each other better, so we can be on the best of terms to be the best of parents. That means a lot. You probably didn’t realize it, but my hand has wandered while we slept and—”

“I realized it.”

“You did?”

She smiled to herself. “Can I turn around now?”

“Are you going to slug me?” he asked.

She laughed. “Do you think I should?”

“Maybe. Probably. I molested you in your sleep. Well, in my sleep.”

She slowly turned around and took in his vulnerable expression. “You don’t have to sleep in the loft.”

It took him a moment to absorb that. He swallowed, cleared his throat, gave his head a little shake. Then he focused on her eyes. “Listen, I know your emotions are all over the place—bad divorce, ugly legal problems, major pregnancy… Abby, I love you. I’m not just a guy under the same blanket with a girl. If it wasn’t you, this wouldn’t be happening. God, I hope that doesn’t scare you away.”

“Is that even possible?” she asked him. “Love?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t ask myself if it was possible. I couldn’t seem to help it. When you didn’t get in touch after we met in Grants Pass, when I couldn’t find you, I was miserable. I told you back then, I liked our chances. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone in my life I felt so much for, so quickly.”

“I can’t say it was that way for me, Cameron,” she said.

“I know. I guess I hoped that over time…”

“But I liked you,” she said. “You were very sweet to me.”