Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)(75)

“I didn’t see Ben’s art in there,” Ray said, looking through the art packets littering the conference room table.

“Judy didn’t think they were pro-quality. Her word choice.”

“And you are okay with that?” Ray sounded disapproving.

Sean looked out the window. He was having a hard time focusing. He kept replaying that tear that dripped down Krista’s cheek an hour ago.

He couldn’t help but notice the aura of sadness emanating from her. She often tried for a smile, and tried to stand up straight, but her shoulders hunched anyway. She looked tired, worn down. And it was all because of him. A few days ago a guy had to put on sunglasses when he looked at her because she was so radiantly happy. He’d done that, too. Before he’d slipped. Before he’d messed everything up and hurt her. He should have never gotten involved. It would’ve hurt less, certainly. It would hurt them both less, because right now, he was aching big time. He loved her to the point of distraction, and it was eating him alive.

“I have a meeting scheduled with John in an hour to go over it,” Sean answered automatically. “I want to use Ben’s material, but Ben is not invited to the meeting. I’m not sure how well Judy will do explaining it.”

“Then you’d best invite Ben to the meeting. This isn’t about coddling employees; this is about landing a large account.”

“I realize that, Ray. Which is why I am going to discuss the matter with my direct supervisor and get confirmation on the best way to play it.”

Ray sighed and met Sean at the window, looking out over the city. “I was wrong in the beginning. It looks like it isn’t her who has decided to give up on the account because of heart break.”

Sean hung his head. “How did you know?”

“I saw you two on Friday. I see you now. It is quite a difference.”

“I slipped. I…”

“You’re running.”

“I’m protecting her.”

“From who, you?”

Sean nodded.

“Are you sure she needs it?” Ray pushed with a soft, though firm, voice.

“She would say no.”

“Then maybe you should trust her.”

Sean turned toward the door. “I don’t want to talk about this, Ray. I don’t want to talk about her.”

Ray watched him go, for the first time fearing for his friend.

Chapter Twenty-One

Sean sat in his living room with a glass of whiskey in hand. He’d put the painting up. He’d moved everything around, picked the perfect spot for it, and made sure it was showcased for anyone who came in his house. It was the memorial for the one who got away.

Got away being synonymous for chased away, of course.

Sean sighed and sat back, not even paying attention to whatever was blaring on the TV.

He should be focusing on the presentation for tomorrow. It was the biggest account of his career so far. If he landed it, he’d be in the red zone. His career would take off, which John reminded him about all the time. His promotion was guaranteed if Tory said yes.

So why couldn’t he focus on anything besides Krista?

Sean ignored the hum of his phone as he finished off what was in his glass and poured himself another.

Bottom line, he wanted her support. He wanted to be with her, right then, hanging out like they used to. Chatting the stress away. Maybe even spit-balling how they could do even better in the presentation than they were already geared to.

Although, who was he kidding? She’d been working on the presentation all week. She’d done it in front of her people, asking for advice. She’d done it in front of the art department, getting catcalls and jeers to help her lighten up, and she’d been practicing alone in her office all week. She was easily the most prepared of anyone.

The pointed finger was at him. Solely at him for this. But it always was, wasn’t it? Ray had been right. He jumped in, got tangled, and ran. He hurt her, like he thought he would.

He just hadn’t realized the backlash would be so intense. Intense to the point that he couldn’t focus on anything else. Didn’t want to, even. He had gotten the chance to see that look in her eyes; the one he saw between Mary and Ray, random other couples, or occasionally his sister and her boyfriend at the time. He’d gotten the look, but he hadn’t given her a chance to verbalize the feeling. To verbalize the true, genuine feeling that wasn’t based on his looks, his job, or his money, and he’d chased her away.

His phone rang again.

“Yeah, Cass, what’s up?” he answered curtly, interrupting his pity party. He sounded like a lovesick teenager these days.

“What’s up your butt? I just called to wish you and Krista good luck tomorrow.”

“Great. Thanks.”

“Is everything okay? Are you drinking?”

“No. And yes.” Sean looked at his glass, half-empty. It was really easy to fix that problem. Unlike his outlook on his life.

“What happened?”

Sean laughed sardonically, “I lost my shit, went crazy on Krista, scared her, then chased her away. Same old shit, different girl. Story of my life. Don’t even know why I’m surprised anymore.”

There was silence on the other end. Sean checked to make sure he didn’t inadvertently hang up with his face. After he’d verified, he thought about hanging up anyway.