Nowhere But Here (Thunder Road #1)(99)

Emily

I SIT ON the window seat in my room and read the text sent from my father:

I’m flying to Kentucky tomorrow. We miss you and it’s time to come home.

Home. I miss home. I won’t say that I don’t. I miss air-conditioning and my mother’s laugh. I miss the easiness of conversation with my father and how Mom checks on me at night before she turns in herself. I miss uncomplicated and I miss Trisha and I miss the quiet flow of the world several hundred miles south of here.

But there’s an emptiness at the thought of returning. Olivia is dying. I’m in love with Oz. Eli is a man who taught me how to drive. He’s also a man who has seventeen stars tattooed on his arm for me. I came here one person and I’m leaving here changed.

Changed.

It’s extremely disorienting. I came here Emily Catherine and I’m leaving here Emily Star and I don’t know how to reconcile the two worlds.

Me: I want to stay. For a little bit longer. There are pieces I still need to figure out.

My finger hovers over Send. Things that I need to figure out, like how Oz and I will maintain a long-distance relationship. Like if there’s a chance that Olivia will live. Like why Eli gave me up. Like why my mother ran from a place that is so freaking weird and complicated and just as strangely fantastic.

I need to know why, but how do I explain that to Dad? How do I explain it without hurting his feelings?

“You look like someone ran over your puppy.” Violet walks into my room and my heart jumps with the adrenaline rush.

“I thought no one was allowed in the house.” Except Olivia, but she’s somewhere in the massive crowd celebrating with Oz. From the silence of the crowd that surrounded the bonfire and then the rally of cheers, I assume that Oz patched in.

My foot kicks at the floor. I didn’t see Oz patch in. Violet is right. It’s a boys’ club and the rules are not in my favor.

Violet regards the foot I toddler-reacted with then settles onto the window seat beside me. “I came in through the back.”

“Eli said they locked it.”

She shrugs and then with a twitch of her hand produces a key. I grab it from her. “That was supercool. You never told me you can do magic.”

“I can’t,” she says. “But Chevy can. He taught me a few things, but that’s the only trick I can get somewhat right. He has a knack for sleight of hand.”

We had dinner together: me, Chevy, Oz, Violet, Razor and Stone. Oz and Razor carried the conversation by telling us stories of how they learned to ride a motorcycle. Both Violet and Chevy stared at their plates like someone had stolen a portion of their soul then set it on fire.

Chevy departed a while ago with a girl with bad blue hair. Violet left shortly afterward.

“Can I ask you something?” she says.

“You can ask me anything.”

Violet plays with the ends of her hair as if she’s searching for split ends. “Will you take me with you when you leave?”

I laugh and then it morphs into an awkward fading giggle as I realize she’s serious.

“I have some money saved so I can buy a plane ticket for me and Brandon, and I guess I forgot to mention that we’re taking Brandon with us, but I researched it online and I have enough to pay for the tickets. You said you have a spare bedroom and Brandon and I can totally take that. We already share a room now and I can guarantee the room in your house will be bigger. We don’t eat much. Actually Brandon does, but I don’t and I’ll get a job so then I’ll be able to cover the cost of food and...”

She’s continuing in a ramble. In a way Violet has never done before. She’s always so sure and so confident and she’s never avoided eye contact in the entire time I’ve known her.

My mouth is hanging open and finally I discover my voice. “Why?”

Violet blinks. “Why what?”

“Why would you want to leave here?”

“Are you serious? Do you not see what’s going on outside? How they’re acting? How they’re behaving? Those people are constantly inserting themselves into my business and I am over it. I can’t get anyone at school or in town to take me seriously because my father was a part of the Reign of Terror. He’s not even here anymore and I still can’t get them out of my life!”

From my cracked-open window, the sound of men’s laughter drifts in and so do the shouts, the occasional curse, the rumble of motorcycles coming and going and the loud, angry music.

Two months ago, all of this would have terrified me, but now I look out and see Pigpen laughing with a bunch of guys. I see Olivia with Cyrus near the bonfire. I know that Eli and Oz are somewhere inside the clubhouse.

“Is it that bad here?” I point then relax my toes. “I mean, yeah, they’re sort of crazy, but they seem to care for one another.”

“Oh my God!” Violet shrieks. “Are you for real? There’s a reason why you’re locked in here and the rest of them are out there. It’s easy to love them if you can ignore the truth and you’re doing exactly what they want. You’re ignoring what’s in front of you. Well, I refuse to live this way. I need to leave. I need to get out of here!”

“What about your mom?” I ask.

“What about your mom?” Violet spits. “Call her. Ask her if I can come.”

She rolls her shoulders as if she’s on the verge of bursting out of her skin and then grabs my hands. “Please. Please do this. Please call her and ask your mom to let me live with you. Tell her that I’m Christy’s girl. Tell her that she owes us. My mother risked a lot for her once and your mom promised her she’d do anything to help her in the future because of it. Tell her that I’m taking her up on the offer. Your mom understands you can’t go back on a promise. Just for the year. Then I’ll get a job when I graduate and move out and I’ll be able to take care of Brandon, but I have to get out of here.”