Not Safe for Work(96)

Not now, though. Tonight, I needed to be what he needed.

We exchanged smiles. Another kiss. No words needed to be said—we both knew what we wanted. Or rather, what I would have wanted in the lifetime that existed prior to facing down my bosses.

In silence, he took my hand and led me inside, and then we were on our way up the stairs, and I felt like shit. This was all wrong. This was…this was not what I wanted.

Red! a voice screamed in the back of my mind. Red! Red! Red!

What the f*ck? I was following my sub into his bedroom. Why did I feel more like a lamb being led to slaughter?

Oh. Right. Because I was out of my f*cking mind. Because I wasn’t here to have sex with my boyfriend. I was here to keep him happy so he’d keep pouring money into the pockets of my firm, in hopes that some of that money would trickle down to me.

I toed the bedroom door closed behind us and begged both mind and body one last time not to let him down tonight.

Rick faced me. “How do you want—” He cocked his head. “You all right?”

Not even close.

His forehead creased, and in a gentle voice, he asked, “You’re still in that funk, aren’t you?”

I leaned heavily against the door. “It’s…” No, I wasn’t going to lie to him. This wasn’t top drop. “Fuck…”

“I can see it, Jon.” He stepped closer. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”

You don’t know the half of it.

I forced back the nausea burning its way up my throat.

“Jon.” He looked me right in the eyes. “Talk to me.”

My stomach churned. He wasn’t going to let this go, and I couldn’t blame him. If the roles had been reversed, I’d have been pushing him to talk to me too, especially if he wanted me to participate in a scene with him. I owed him the honesty I’d have expected from him.

“It’s…” I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. “The firm knows about us.”

“They…” He cleared his throat. “Come again?”

I dropped my hand. “They know. Someone saw us in the parking garage. They had the security camera tapes reviewed and…” I gestured dismissively. “They know.”

Rick’s eyes widened. “Oh. Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Have they said anything about it?”

I whistled. “Yeah. Yeah, they have.” This nervous energy was going to drive me insane, so I pushed myself off the door and started pacing across the plush carpet while Rick watched. Running a shaking hand through my hair, I scrambled to put my thoughts in order.

He stopped me with a hand on my elbow. “They’re not threatening your job, are they?”

“Not…not the way you’d expect.”

“What does that mean?”

My stomach somersaulted, and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. There was no going back if I tipped my hand now. If Rick knew what the partners had said, if he knew about the ultimatum they’d given me, I couldn’t just rein it back in and tell him to forget about it. What if it pissed him off? What if he confronted the firm?

He stopped behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. “Just tell me.”

I closed my eyes. After a moment, I faced him. “Look, Horizon Developing pretty much saved Mitchell & Forsyth’s ass. If you hadn’t signed with us, the whole place probably would’ve folded within a year.”

He nodded, brow furrowing slightly.

“And all of us employees have been told from day one that if anyone from Horizon Developing says jump, we say how high.” I exhaled sharply and kneaded my stiffening neck. “For God’s sake, they’ve even gotten on my case when they’ve seen us talking.”

“What? Why?”

“Because every communication between your company and ours has to go through a liaison who’s trained to not f*ck things up.”

His lips thinned into a straight line. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. It’s…f*cking degrading, but what can you do?” I paused. “Or I guess I should say, what can I do?” I cursed the helplessness in my voice—this was not a side I wanted any submissive to see. Or any boyfriend. Anyone.

“Okay, so.” He folded his arms loosely across his chest and studied me. “They know about us now, so what are they going to do? Tell you not to see me again?”

“No. The opposite, actually.”

Rick blinked. “Say what?”

I took a deep breath, and my pride shriveled as I revealed the last card. “They want me to keep seeing you.”

“Keep—” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re joking.”

“I wish. Basically, if I want to keep my job, I’ve got to keep you happy.”

I’d never seen Rick’s eyes that wide. He opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. As if he wanted to say something but couldn’t.

Now it was his turn to start pacing. He made it all the way across the room and halfway back before he spat, “I can’t even fit this all into my head.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I’m having a meeting with Dion and Lila first thing in the morning.” He shook his head. “No way in hell are we working with a company that treats their employees like that.”