Not Planning on You (Danvers #2)(64)
Gray stared straight ahead as he said, “So I’ve really f**ked this up haven’t I?”
“Gray! You know I’m far from a prude, but do we have to use the F-word before lunch-time?”
Gray snickered at his mother’s expression. “Oh, come on, Mom, Dad said you rolled it about at least five times when the dry cleaner ruined your leather jacket last month.”
With her best innocent expression, she said, “Your father’s getting senile, Gray, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
God it felt good to laugh again. When the world seemed impossible, his mother always had a way to push the clouds away even if only for a moment. Reaching over to him, she ran her fingers through his hair just as she’d done countless times before. “Grayson, you were always my serious one. I never had to worry about you getting into too much trouble because you always had a very real sense of right and wrong. Nick could shrug off anything back then, but you wanted to right every injustice even in elementary school. It breaks my heart to see you like this and not be able to help you.”
“No waving the mother magic wand and fixing everything for me, huh?”
“Oh honey, if only I could. I know you love Suzy and I know you’re tied in knots over Reva and the baby. The only piece of advice that I can give you is to be patient. When this baby is born have a paternity test. Do not let Reva talk you out of it. If the baby is yours, then do what feels right to you.”
Gray rubbed his face with his hand, exhaustion plain in every movement he made. “Suzy will be gone, though, Mom. Hell she’s gone now and I can’t even blame her. I’ve been so shell shocked that I’ve made a bad situation even worse. I can’t ask her to stay knowing that she needs to go. I don’t want a life with Reva and she probably doesn’t even want one with me. She’s in panic mode right now and I’ve got a feeling that her parents are pushing all of her buttons. I can’t ask Suzy to be stuck in the middle like that. She deserves so much better. In the end, I’ve turned out to be no better than the last guy who broke her heart.”
“Son, you didn’t go out and see Reva behind her back. You and Suzy were not a couple when you slept with her. Sure you both have to endure the fall-out now, but you weren’t unfaithful to Suzy. Give yourself a break and give Suzy some time. When you love someone that much, you often find a way back to each other, even if it takes time. I can’t see you two being able to be apart forever. Even if this is your baby, things will settle down eventually and you’ll be clearer. You’re flying on pure emotion right now, which makes it hard to see the big picture. You’ve never been a quitter Grayson, so don’t start waving the white flag now, ok?”
Gray smiled at his mother and said, “Wow, you’re pretty smart for a girl. I bet Dad doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going most of the time.”
“Hey you better watch that smart mouth.” Then with a feline smile, she admitted, “Honey your dad hasn’t known whether to wind his butt or scratch his watch since the moment he met me and he wouldn’t have it any other way. I have a feeling you and Suzy would be the same way.”
Gray threw back his head and laughed. Oh, how he loved his mother, and she was right. Life with Suzy would never be boring. He’d never know what was coming with her, and like his father, he’d love it. Maybe his mother was right, he’d pull back and give Suzy some time and also try to find some workable solution between himself and Reva. He wasn’t ready to give up yet and he never would be.
Chapter Twenty Four
Suzy had caved to pressure from her friends and she was sitting in a Mexican restaurant with Beth, Claire, Ella and Nick. It had been two weeks since she’d last spoken to Gray and time hadn’t dulled the grief she was suffering. She went to a great deal of trouble to put on a good front, but she was barely surviving most days. How she could let a man bring her to this? Jeff had been a walk in the park compared to the pain that coursed through her body when she thought of Gray.
Everyone was still worried about her, she knew that. Her clothes hung on her now, the thought of food made her want to gag. She pushed an enchilada around on her plate trying to give the illusion that she was eating. Everyone said it would take time, well how much exactly? When was it going to get easier to get up in the mornings? When would her heart stop physically hurting? When would she stop trembling on the street when she saw someone who looked like him?
Just looking across the table at Nick made her physically hurt. He looked so much like his brother. She knew it wasn’t fair to him, but she avoided him as much as she could. He’d asked her to lunch and dinner several times, but she always found some excuse not to go. She cared so much about him, but right now he was just a painful reminder of the brother that she couldn’t have.
She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked over into Claire’s sympathetic eyes. “Hey, girlfriend, you zoned out on me there for a minute.”
Suzy put on her best carefree smile and joked, “Just appreciating that fine specimen of man at the bar.”
Claire looked to where she was pointing at a cute blond surfer type. “Oh Suz, please, he probably begins every sentence with “dude.”
“Dude, what’s wrong with that?”
Claire’s entire stomach jiggled as she laughed. “Hey how much longer before that oven timer goes off?”