Never Been Ready (Ready #2)(50)

"Do you want me to just punch him instead? Because I'd be really happy to do that. We could just save the toilet paper. I'm sure we could stockpile it in the event of a nuclear war."

"No, this will be way more fun. Besides, if he hadn't left me, I'd probably be out somewhere with him, listening to his boring stories about his job or what he did at the gym. He did me a favor," I said.

"That might be true, but I'd still like to kick his ass," he agreed before bending his head to place a tender kiss on my lips. "Well, why don't you come help me cover his house in ass paper instead?" I whispered.

"Gladly."

We quietly exited the limo, making sure to close the door as softly as possible. The driver, Max, actually volunteered to help us. He was a pretty cool guy. He was in his late fifties with salt-and-pepper hair and a Harley Davidson attitude that didn't quite match the suit attire he was wearing for the evening. We thanked him but declined, not wanting him to lose his job if we got caught.

Daniel and his wife, Mindy, might not be home, but that didn't mean their neighbors weren't. I zipped up my jacket, trying to ward off the cold and cover up the white tank I had on underneath. Luckily, we had both worn dark clothing, so we faded into the night fairly easily. January was cold on the East Coast, and New Year's Eve was no exception. I could see my breath puffing out in front of me as we made our way across the street, our arms loaded with rolls of fluffy white toilet paper. The frosted grass crunched under our steps.

"So, is this a crime? Could we get tossed into jail for this?" Declan asked quietly.

"Mmm, I don't know," I whispered back.

"That would be an interesting headline —Hollywood Actor Arrested for Vandalism. Weapon of Choice? Toilet Paper."

When we got to the middle of Daniel's front yard, we dumped our load, and I started giving directions. "Okay, let's do the trees first. You need to give yourself a bit of a lead, pull some out...there you go...and then chuck the roll over the limb."

We both hurled our rolls over the tree branches and watched them land on the other side. Giving each other goofy grins, we raced to the other side and grabbed our rolls to repeat the process. In a matter of minutes, we had the trees covered in white. It was the worst re-creation of a white Christmas ever.

For Daniel's beautifully decorated bushes, I stuffed wads of toilet paper in between the branches, like little paper flowers. Those would be a bitch to pull out in the morning, especially if they got wet and frosted over. I might have snickered a bit as I hopped from bush to bush. Last was the house. I really wanted to get the rolls on the house, but I didn't think I could throw that far.

"Hey, do you think you can throw a roll over and clear the house?"

Declan gave me a look that said I should never doubt him as he grabbed a roll and took a few steps back. He let it sail, clearing the house and leaving a brilliant white streak over the top of the roof.

"Yes! Now, do that twenty more times!" I said quietly, jumping up and down.

He silently laughed, doing as I'd asked, taking every last roll we had and throwing them over the roof. Just as the last roll cleared the roof, I heard a nearby house explode in an array of voices, all chanting, at what must have been a party as they started counting down.

"It's almost midnight!" I said excitedly.

"Well then, you better get your ass over here and kiss me."

I ran to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around him, just as the voices got to one.

Everyone at the party nearby yelled, "Happy New Year!" at the same time my lips met Declan's.

His fingers curled into my hair as he devoured me. Every part of me was freezing, but my lips felt like they were on fire the minute they'd touched his.

I could have stayed like that forever, ringing in the New Year in Declan's arms, but as I did, I noticed the voices from the party starting to grow louder. Declan must have heard them as well because he pulled back. We looked around and saw the neighbor's party was spilling out onto the lawn. A few of them were pointing to our toilet-paper masterpiece.

"Oh shit! We better go!" I said, laughing.

We ran to the limo, and Max took off just before Daniel's neighbor made it across the street. We were both laughing so hard, and I couldn't breathe.

"Well, there is one thing I am absolutely sure of. Life with you will never be dull."

"Right back at you, Hotshot."

Now, if we could just figure out how to rearrange the states, so Virginia and California shared a border. Then, we wouldn't have a single care in the world.

Chapter Sixteen

~Leah~

"Not only have you ruined me for other men, but you've seriously ruined flying for me as well. I'm not going to be able to fly anything less than first class from now on." I snuggled into the oversized leather seat as I pulled the plush blanket tighter around my lap.

This was how flying should be. No one had stepped on my feet, knocked my elbows with a cart, or kicked the back of my chair. It was bliss.

"I've ruined you for all other men?" Declan grinned.

"Shit, you weren't supposed to know that."

"Really? Why? I'm very happy, knowing you're inevitably ruined for all eternity for all other men but me," he bragged.

"See? Exactly. You're already too cocky as it is. Too much more and your head will explode. Then, where will I be?"