Nets and Lies(64)

Nick returned my smile. “No, tonight is about us.”

I felt like a kid on Christmas morning as I tore into the envelope. Inside was a plane ticket. “What’s this?”

“I want you to come with me to Jersey.”

My heartbeat accelerated in my chest. “To meet your family and all?”

Nick nodded. “Yeah, but more to decide if it’s somewhere you could live.”

I gasped. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I want you to think about moving to Jersey with me. Rutgers University isn’t far from my uncle’s place. They’ve got a great Business and Finance program.” Before I could protest, he rushed on. “I know that it seems too fast since we’ve only known each other for a few months, but I’ve gotten to know you and care for you more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

“Me too,” I murmured.

“And you’ve said yourself that you wanted to get the hell out of this town when you graduated.”

“I know I did.”

“My uncle is giving me his finished basement rent free. You wouldn’t have to worry about working. I’d take care of us so you could concentrate on school.”

Tears stung my eyes. Oh God, he really did want me and love me with all my baggage. He saw a future for us—no guy had ever wanted that from me before. “It sounds wonderful.”

Nick’s brows furrowed. “Then what’s the problem?”

I forced a laugh. “That’s just it. There isn’t a problem. Everything sounds perfect.” As I stared into his hopeful eyes, I shook my head. “It’s just that being with you these past few months has been so amazing that I’m just waiting for the bad shit to catch up with me—with us.”

“Jordan, how many times do I have to tell you that our pasts don’t define who we are?”

“I want to believe that. I really do.”

Nick pulled me into his arms. His breath hovered over my ear. “Just because we both did some bad shit and made some pretty bad mistakes doesn’t mean the rest of our lives are doomed to heartache and tragedy. Sure, there will be bad things that happen, but there’s gonna be good things too.”

Deep down I knew Nick was right. I mean, so far I’d tried to right all the wrongs of my affair with Coach T. I’d admitted to the police I’d lied, and I’d even apologized to Dr. Micheltree and Mr. Sands. Of course, with the truth about Melanie’s rape, my lies didn’t seem to matter that much anymore. But they still haunted me. Maybe they always would. And maybe I would never be able to put the ghosts of the past behind me until I truly moved away and moved on.

I smiled tentatively up at him. “So, if I do come to Jersey with you, I have a few conditions.”

Nick’s expression brightened. “Okay, what are they?”

“First, I would live in the dorms at Rutgers or whatever college I decide on. We need to keep moving slow—I need to keep moving slow. I don’t want us rushing into something we’re not completely ready for just because of distance. I think we need space if we’re going to successfully turn this friendship into something more.”

He nodded. “That sounds doable.”

“And second, I’d want to pay my own way and get a job. All my life I’ve been given everything I wanted by my mom. I don’t want her or you to take care of me.”

“Well, I could at least help by pulling a few strings and getting you a job at the restaurant,” Nick replied.

Shaking my head, I said, “But if you’re managing the restaurant for your uncle, then you’d be my boss. If I’m truly turning over a new leaf, I can’t be sleeping with the boss, now can I?”

Nick jolted back. I couldn’t help laughing at his expression. I cocked my head at him. “After that kiss you laid on me earlier, you can’t possibly be too shocked at the thought of us finally ha**ng s*x sometime soon.”

He snorted. “Trust me, it’s more a shock of me being your boss than us finally getting it on.”

“Whatever, you know you were thinking about it,” I laughed.

Nick’s expression became much more serious. “I’ll wait to be with you for as long as you need.”

My mouth fell open in disbelief. “You really mean that?”

He nodded as he took my hand in his. “And then when you’re ready, we won’t have sex or hook-up. I’ll make love to you.”

His words sent a shiver of longing down my spine. I fought the urge to reach out and pinch him just to see if he was real. Surely I had to be dreaming if there was a guy standing before me who wanted me for me—the real me with all the ugliness beneath the surface—and not for my body. A guy who wanted to make love to me…that was an amazing thought.

“Jordan, your break was over five minutes ago!” Manny shouted from the doorway.

I grimaced. “The evil Boss-Man beckons.”

Nick laughed. “Hmm, wonder if you’ll call me that behind my back when you’re working for me?”

“We’ll just have to see about that,” I replied, before leaning over and kissing him.

Chapter Twenty-Three: Melanie

After my confession, the weeks sped by until suddenly it was spring. And for the first time in my life, I truly appreciate all the vibrant colors of the season. Everything meant more to me now—now that I’d been to the dark side and back. I was still racking up gold stars in therapy. So much so, that Dr. Leighton agreed to let me start back to school two weeks early.