My One and Only(39)

Then he crossed the room, hot, bristling energy gathering in a ball and without word or thought, we were wrapped around each other, mouths seeking and finding, and God, the charge nearly lifted me from my feet, as if I was hovering in the air and melting into him at the same time. He was at once familiar and new, leaner than he’d been and harder, but his mouth, his lovely mouth, was the same, hot and hungry, and it was simply unspeakable, how good it was to feel him again, elemental, fundamental, primally right to be with Nick, to kiss him, to…to…to own him again, because let’s be honest. We’d only ever belonged to each other.

He held me so hard my ribs creaked, and oh, God, I had missed him, missed this, why oh why did we ever let this get away from us? My back was against the wall and Nick shifted, his hand covering my breast, his skin hot on mine, and still we didn’t stop kissing, hot, hard, desperate kisses. He felt so good, like no one had ever felt, as if we were two pieces of rock that had been split apart by lightning and were now fusing back into one, as we were meant to be. He kissed me as if the end of days was upon us, his tongue sliding against mine so that my knees nearly gave out. Nothing mattered but the two of us, together again. Not one thing. I jerked his shirt from his pants and slid my hands up along his ribs, drinking in the hot glory of his skin, my fingertips seeking out the little scar over his heart, and he groaned against my mouth and shifted so I could feel his full weight against me, and my body hummed with lust and power, because he was shaking a little. I’d done that to him, just as he had to me.

He pulled back, his face flushed, eyes burning, hair standing on end, and then he grinned, and I thought my heart might crack from the sight, so much had I missed Nick’s smile.

“Do you want to say something?” he whispered, breathing hard.

“Um…take me?” I said, panting a little, smiling back.

He gave a raspy laugh. “Well, yes, I’d love to.” His smile grew. “But maybe you wanted to say something else?” With one hand, he pushed a lock of my now-wild hair behind my ear and just looked at me. His eyes were gentle, and expectant. “Go ahead.”

I paused. A trickle of dread cooled the flash fire of just seconds before. Crap. This was where things generally started breaking down where the two of us were concerned. Expectations. “You…you go first.”

He cocked his head. “I think you should go first, Harper. After all, you…”

I stood up a little straighter. “After all, what?”

“Well, you’re the one who…you know.” Clearly he was hinting that there was some declaration that would be appropriate right about now. I frowned. Nick blinked. “You don’t want to say…anything, Harper?”

“No, I’m good, Nick.” Ardor definitely cooling here.

“Nothing. You have nothing to say to me,” he clarified, taking a step back and running a hand through his hair.

I pursed my lips. “Well, obviously, you think I should say something, so why don’t you elucidate, Nick?

His jaw grew knotty. “I just figured you’d want to…”

“What?”

“Apologize. I thought you’d want to apologize.”

I gritted my teeth. “Oh. This…This is great.” I crossed my arms over my too-exposed chest. “For what?”

He blinked. “What do you mean, for what? For ruining our marriage, that’s what.”

“I—you—Are you kidding me?”

“No,” he said, giving me that all-too-familiar look. Why are you hysterical? I’m only being completely logical here. “You want me to apologize?” I asked, my voice rising. “That’s what you want? Now? Seriously?”

He put up his hands defensively. “Look, I’m completely willing to forgive you and start over—”

“Oh, wow, how generous! Thank you, Nick!”

“—but you have to admit, Harper, that what you did was really bad. I mean, in at least one sense, you cheated on me. Betrayed me. And while I’m definitely open to making a fresh—”

“You know what? Here we go again, Nick. This was the whole problem during our marriage. You were blameless, and everything was my fault. Well, guess what? I’m not playing this time.”

“What did I do? I loved you, Harper! I worked a lot. Is that a crime? Was that a stupid plan, for me to work hard so we could have a secure future?”

“You know what’s a stupid plan, Nick? This. Us. Look. You’re…whatever. And obviously, I’m still…attracted to you. But if you’re still looking for me to take the full blame of our fiery crash, no! I won’t, Nick! You had a hand in that, too.”

“I fail to see what I did that was so wrong,” he said tightly.

“And that’s the whole problem,” I snapped. “I’m sorry you came up here. Too much time has passed. You’re still hung up on me being the bad guy. Good night.”

“You are the one who left,” he snapped.

“Actually, you were,” I returned through gritted teeth. “Whatever. At any rate, it’s clear you’re looking for an abject apology and some groveling in addition to some groping and fondling. But guess what, Nick? You’ll have to look somewhere else.”

And with that, I stomped out of the room, down the hall and back to my sister’s wedding.