My One and Only(106)

Later that day, I went into Theo’s office and closed the door behind me. “I need a word, Boss,” I said.

“Of course, my dear,” he said, glancing at his watch. “You have four minutes.” He was dressed in a lime-green polo shirt and eye-numbing plaid shorts.

“Hitting the links, are we?”

Theo smiled smugly. “Yes. Senator Lewis is in town, dodging the press.”

“What did he do this time?”

“Apparently he found his soul mate.”

“Oh, dear,” I said.

“Mmm-hmm. And she posted their special moments on the Internet. Over three million hits in two hours alone. A proud day.”

“Young love,” I said, though Senator Lewis was well into his seventies. Made one wonder just who those three million were and why they wanted to burn their souls by watching the withered shanks of a fat white dude getting it on with his former cleaning lady.

“So what is it, dear? Three minutes, twenty seconds.”

“Right. Theo, I’d like to branch out.”

“From what, Harper?” Theo took a club out of his golf bag and mimicked a putt.

“From divorce law.”

He looked up, horrified. “What? Why? No!”

“I’m a little burned out, Theo. I’d still do some, but…it’s taking a toll.”

“Not you! I thought you were different! You really get it! Sometimes our hearts just need time to accept what our heads already know. “

I inhaled slowly. “Right. But sometimes our heads are just full of crap, Theo.”

He looked at me, puzzled. “Well, of course, Harper. What’s your point?”

“I need to branch out. Or quit.”

He recoiled, dropping his putter or driver or whatever it was. “Don’t even speak the words! Oh, you evil blackmailer! Fine. Whatever you want.”

“Partner,” I said.

“Excuse me?”

“I want to be partner, too.”

Theo sank into his chair. “Well, well. Would a raise suffice?”

I smiled, the first genuine smile in ages. “No.”

JUST BEFORE CAROL LEFT for the day, she popped into my office. “This came for you. Sorry. It was in with some other papers.” She handed me an envelope.

“Thanks,” I said, taking it absentmindedly while I clicked through my computer. “Have a good evening, Carol.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” She closed the door behind her.

I finished with my email, then took a look at what Carol had given me. Hand-addressed, care of the law firm. No return address.

The postmark was from South Dakota.

All the air suddenly seemed sucked from the room.

Slowly, slowly, my hands shaking impressively, I slid the letter opener under the envelope flap and cut it open. Unfolded the letter very carefully, smoothing it out. A one hundred dollar bill fell onto my lap. I took a deep breath, held it, then let it out and looked at the letter. The handwriting was round and loopy, and despite not having seen it for so long, I recognized it immediately.

Dear Harper,

Well, I’m not sure what to say. You really surprised me the other day. I did recognize you, since of course you always did look just like me. I wish you’d given me a little warning—I wasn’t ready for a big scene, know what I mean? It was a shock to see you—how can I be old enough to have a grown daughter? Anyway, I looked up your name on Google and found you out there, still on that godforsaken island. At any rate, looks like you turned out great! A lawyer. You were always smart, I guess.

I suppose you want to know why I left. First, let me say that I’m great! Life has been one wild ride for me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I never wanted to be tied down and really wasn’t cut out for motherhood or island life and all that. I toughed it out as long as I could, but in the end, I had to do what was right for me. I had a lot of plans back before you came along, and it didn’t seem fair that I had to stay stuck for the rest of my life. Sorry you got caught in the middle, but we had some good times, didn’t we?

Anyway, if you’re ever back this way, drop in and say hi. Just call first. By the way, I just didn’t feel right taking the money…I’m not the type who likes to be beholden, if you know what I mean. Buy yourself something nice and think of me when you wear it, okay? Take care.

Linda

I read the letter seven times. Each time, it became more repugnant.

Had to do what was right for me. Toughed it out. Wasn’t cut out for motherhood.

Holy testicle Tuesday.

Buy myself something nice and think of her? The woman who abandoned me, the woman who pretended not to recognize me after twenty-one years of being apart?

Looks like you turned out great.

“Actually, I’m quite a pathetic mess, Mom,” I said. My voice seemed overly loud in the quiet.

For a long time, I sat there in the lengthening shadows, the rain pattering against the windows like a thought wanting to be let in. And then something did creep into my consciousness, carefully, as if testing the waters to see if it was safe. Slowly, very slowly, a new possibility came into my mind.

I’d had enough.

My mother’s actions—her one action, really…leaving me—had been a choke chain on my heart…on my whole life…since I was thirteen years old. Enough.