Mind Game (GhostWalkers, #2)(84)

“Why would that be?” Nicolas watched her shimmy into her jeans. There was something very feminine about the way she put on her clothes. He could watch her dress and undress forever.

“Because I’d never have a boyfriend, of course.”

“I’ve always thought that was such a stupid word. Boyfriend. Aren’t we adults? And that sounds so insipid. I’m much more than your boyfriend.”

“You are?”

He caught her hand and dragged her close to him. “You know damn well I am.” He caught the glint of humor in her eyes and laughed with her. It felt good. The last of the energy dispersed, lifting the weight from Dahlia’s shoulders.

“Just how far do you plan to take this whole relationship thing, Nicolas? Because if you’re thinking of going much further, I definitely need a manual of some kind.”

“I’m taking it all the way. You won’t need a manual, because I can supply all the answers.” He grinned at her as he started back along the path to the cabin.

Dahlia sent him a quick smile and concentrated on the sensations of what they’d just shared together. She knew how draining it was living every day with the surging energy. It could come at the most unexpected and unwanted times, simply by a brief spurt of anger or melancholy as she was feeling now. When she was with Nicolas, reality seemed to slip away, and for a few brief moments she could believe that they would be together, that she could live a seminormal life. The moment the real world intruded, truth hit her hard. Already apprehension at facing all of the men was growing with each step she took toward the cabin. She knew Nicolas thought her undisciplined, but to marshal one’s thoughts and emotions every waking minute was nearly impossible.

“How do you keep your emotions so under control, Nicolas? Even when you’re doing things that have to bother you?” She glanced up at him to make certain her question hadn’t upset him.

“I don’t do anything unless I believe it is necessary. If it’s necessary then there’s no reason for me to be bothered by it. The universe has a natural order. I do my best to flow with it and not try to control things outside of myself. The truth is, control is a myth. You can’t control another person or even an event. You can only control yourself. So that’s what I do. If it becomes necessary to go out on a mission and a job has to be done, I do it. There’s no reason to complicate it with unnecessary emotion.”

“And you can do that?” Some of what he said made sense, but she had to admit some of it bothered her. “If you’d been sent here to kill me would you have done it?”

“I wouldn’t have come unless someone gave me a damned good reason, Dahlia. You’ve never done anything to warrant a death sentence.”

She rubbed at her forehead where the aftermath of her headache still lingered. “I’m glad I don’t have to make those decisions. I suppose there’s a sort of safety in having the psychic abilities I have. I can’t deliberately cause harm to someone without severe, immediate retribution. I know they wanted to train me as a weapon, but I couldn’t do all of the things necessary. For all the problems mine might cause, I guess it saved me from having to make decisions I might not want to make.”

“Did you enjoy learning martial arts?”

“Yes.” Dahlia could hear the sound of hammers and saws ringing through the bayou as they got closer to the cabin. Her stomach tightened. She drew a deep, steadying breath and continued walking with him as if she didn’t hear a thing.

“Good. I have a beautiful dojo in my home. You’ll enjoy it.”

“For some reason, I had the impression all of you stayed with Lily at her house.”

“We do temporarily. She was generous enough to open her home. Whitney added special walls to help keep out sound and better protect Lily. We train there, conducting exercises to strengthen the barriers in order to permit us to stay out in the world without anchors for longer periods of time. We all have our own homes. Mine is in California up in the mountains. I have several acres, and the gardens are beautiful. I have a crew maintaining the property while I’m gone.”

She heard the pride in his voice. He cared about his home. “Tell me about the house.”

“It’s a mixture of East and West. The Japanese design is very open and gives it a sense of tranquility. I feel peace when I’m there. I enjoy working with plants, and fortunately, the weather is mild enough that the gardens stay green nearly year round. You can hear the sound of water running in the creek, and we incorporated a small natural waterfall and pool into the gardens. I have beds of herbs and healing plants as well.” He sent her a quick grin. “I was optimistic I’d learn to heal.”

They were close enough to the cabin that Dahlia could hear the sounds of the men’s voices as they good-naturedly ribbed one another back and forth. She stopped on the worn trail to look up at Nicolas. The sun cast streaks of light through the midnight black hair and kissed his skin with bronze so that he seemed almost glowing to her. “I can picture you working in your garden. Funny that I never even considered it before. You told me about both of your grandfathers, but I think I was only seeing parts of you, not putting you together as a whole.” She slipped her arms around his waist and tilted her head up to his. “I want you to kiss me again so I’m thinking about that when we see the others instead of the humiliation of setting Gator’s house on fire.”