Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(100)

Her dark eyes were wide and deep as she stared at me now. "Are you like a bear, too?" she asked in an almost-whisper.

"More like the lion, or so they tell me," I told her, striving to sound detached again. "Perhaps our preferences are indicative."

"That's an interesting theory," Bella said. "I wonder how the others hunt and what their preferences are."

Her lips pulled up a tiny bit at the corners. "Perhaps," she repeated. And then her head leaned to the side, and curiosity was suddenly clear in her eyes. "Is that something I might get to see?"

"NO!" Jacob said.

"Why... it's not that bad?" Bella said.

"It would be very dangerous for you to be there," Jacob said. "I mean beyond dangerous... don't you get it, you're his prey."

"Jacob..." Bella started.

"I get that he doesn't want that to be the case, but that doesn't change the fact that you've got to be a hell of a lot more appealing than any of those animals he would be hunting," Jacob said.

"Right," Bella gulped, that did sound dangerous.

I didn't need pictures from Alice to illustrate this horror - my imagination was quite enough.

"Absolutely not," I snarled at her.

She jerked away from me, her eyes bewildered and frightened.

I leaned back, too, wanting to put space between us. She was never going to see, was she? She wouldn't do one thing to help me keep her alive.

Jacob grimaced at Bella as she rolled her eyes at Edward's comment.

"Too scary for me?" she asked, her voice even. Her heart, however, was still moving in double time.

"If that were it, I would take you out tonight," I retorted through my teeth. "You need a healthy dose of fear. Nothing could be more beneficial for you."

"Then why?" she demanded, undeterred.

I glared at her blackly, waiting for her to be afraid. I was afraid. I could imagine only too clearly having Bella near when I hunted...

Her eyes remained curious, impatient, nothing more. She waited for her answer, not giving in.

But our hour was up.

"Later," I snapped, and I rose to my feet. "We're going to be late."

She looked around herself, disoriented, like she'd forgotten we were at lunch.

Like she'd forgotten we were even at school - surprised that we were not alone in some private place. I understood that feeling exactly. It was hard to remember the rest of the world when I was with her.

She got up quickly, bobbling once, and threw her bag over her shoulder.

"Later, then," she said, and I could see the determination in the set of her mouth she would hold me to that.

"Which means she's going to bring this up later," Jacob said.

"That's the end of the chapter," Bella said.

12. Complications

"Complications," Jacob read. "I don't like the sound of that."

"I'm sure it's not as bad as it sounds," Bella shrugged.

Bella and I walked silently to biology. I was trying to focus myself on the moment, on the girl beside me, on what was real and solid, on anything that would keep Alice's deceitful, meaningless visions out of my head.

"It's not meaningless," Jacob muttered, "don't underestimate it."

We passed Angela Weber, lingering on the sidewalk, discussing an assignment with a boy from her Trigonometry class. I scanned her thoughts perfunctorily, expecting more disappointment, only to be surprised by their wistful tenor.

Ah, so there was something Angela wanted. Unfortunately, it wasn't something that could be easily gift-wrapped.

"She must like the guy," Bella said.

"This should be interesting," Jacob chuckled.

"It will only work if the guy likes her back though," Bella said.

"But Angela is cool... who wouldn't like her," Jacob said.

I felt strangely comforted for a moment, hearing Angela's hopeless yearning. A sense of kinship that Angela would never know about passed through me, and I was, in that second, at one with the kind human girl.

"What does he mean by that... your yearning isn't hopeless, Edward!" Bella huffed.

It was oddly consoling to know that I wasn't the only one living out a tragic love story. Heartbreak was everywhere.

"Argh," Bella groaned. "Only if you keep thinking that way."

In the next second, I was abruptly and thoroughly irritated. Because Angela's story didn't have to be tragic. She was human and he was human and the difference that seemed so insurmountable in her head was ridiculous, truly ridiculous compared to my own situation. There was no point in her broken heart. What a wasteful sadness, when there was no valid reason for her not to be with the one she wanted.

"Yeah, wasteful," Bella muttered, thinking that Edward's was wasteful too, though he did have more of a reason to be so cautious.

Why shouldn't she have what she wanted? Why shouldn't this one story have a happy ending?

I wanted to give her a gift... Well, I would give her what she wanted. Knowing what I did of human nature, it probably wouldn't even be very difficult. I sifted through the consciousness of the boy beside her, the object of her affections, and he did not seem unwilling, he was just stymied by the same difficulty she was. Hopeless and resigned, the way she was.