Love's Second Chance (Second Chances #1)(33)
“Sounds good to me, but where are all the boxes?”
I pointed towards the door. “They’re in the kitchen,” I said. She squeezed my shoulder before leaving me alone in the room. I had a feeling she did it on purpose, to give me time for my closure. I walked over to the loveseat where Carson’s favorite sweatshirt lay, and I ran my hands delicately over the soft fabric, like it was the most valuable thing in the world. Right then it was. As soon as I picked it up, Carson’s scent overtook my senses and the tears began to fall harder.
“Oh my God,” I said, breathing in deeply. I couldn’t believe it would still smell like him after all this time. Burying my face in his scent, I collapsed onto the loveseat while the memories began to flood my mind, memories of a time where Carson was my world and I was his; memories that would stay with me for all time. As I sat there thinking about all of those memories, I never once thought about how I would’ve wanted Carson to live his life if the situation was turned. I wouldn’t want him sad and distraught, I would want him to be happy and move on. I can do this, I said to myself. It was going to be tough, but I’d made it that far in just a couple of weeks. I would always be sad over Carson’s death, but the good memories we shared would surpass the grief and heartache.
I closed my eyes, soaking in the new found strength that had taken hold in my heart. I didn’t realize Jenna had come back until I heard her voice. “Ducky, you’re scaring me. I expected to come in here to see you broken down on the floor, not smiling.”
I chuckled lightly. “I was just thinking of all the good memories Carson and I had. You know, I can’t think of a single argument we ever went through.”
“I know,” Jenna murmured. “He always gave you everything you wanted and would’ve given you the moon if you asked him.”
I agreed whole-heartedly, “Yes, I know.”
Jenna knelt in front of me, taking my hands in hers. “He wanted you to be happy, and with that being said I know he’d want you to be happy even if that meant finding love with another man.”
I nodded. “I know. I just hate it took me this long to figure that out. That morning in the hospital, when Carson died, he said something to me. He never finished his sentence, but he wanted me to promise him something.”
“What do you think it was?” she asked softly.
“I didn’t know then, but I think I know now. I think he wanted me to promise him that I’d move on and find peace. As silly as that sounds, I feel in my heart that this is what he would’ve wanted. He always thought of others before himself.”
“That sounds like Carson,” Jenna said, smiling. “There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing. Galen loves you, and Carson would want you happy and in love with someone that will treat you just as good as he did, if not better.”
“I know.”
“Okay, so enough moping. Let’s get this done.” She took a couple of boxes and made her way to the closet. “Have you decided what you want to do with his things? You could always keep them or give them to Goodwill.”
“I think I’m going to keep most of it,” I answered. “I want to keep the things that meant most to him, like this sweatshirt,” I said, looking down at the bundle in my arms. “I don’t think I can part with it.”
“I understand,” Jenna said. “I don’t think I could get rid of Brady’s personal things either.”
While Jenna worked on the closet I worked on the dressers, clearing off the valuable trinkets and pictures. When I saw the picture of Carson and me on our honeymoon, I busted out laughing as a memory came flooding back. The picture looked perfect, with Carson and me smiling while the sun set behind us. We went to Cozumel and it was one of the best times in my life, but what was funny was that right after the picture was taken the dress I was wearing flew above my waist as the wind caught it. I was mortified. It was embarrassing because not only did people see that happen, but I was also wearing a pair of thongs. Needless to say, the people around us got a full view.
“What’s so funny?” Jenna asked, snickering at me. I showed her the picture and she burst out laughing. I knew she remembered that day, because I called her right after it happened. I think she laughed for ten minutes straight while I died of embarrassment. At the time it wasn’t funny, but now it was quite hilarious. “I wish I could have been there to see it,” she giggled.
“Yeah, and knowing you, you would’ve captured the moment in a painting and put it in one of your galleries,” I said, laughing.
Jenna feigned innocence by looking shocked. “Do you honestly think I would do that?” she asked with a mischievous smirk on her face.
“I don’t think … I know,” I informed her, stating the facts. We both laughed and it lightened my heart to be able to find the joy in the past.
Packing the picture away, I moved on to other things. There was one tiny box I saw off to the side and I recalled the day I put it there very well. I buried Carson with his wedding band on, but mine … mine was in that little black box. I removed it the day I left to move to my parent’s house because I cried every time I looked at my hand, and I knew I couldn’t handle it anymore. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes while opening the box.
“What are you going to do with your ring?” Jenna asked.