Love, Exes, and Ohs (Cactus Creek #4)(51)

“Oh God, Isaac. I’m so sorry.” She stepped forward, and stopped, a war of emotions on her face.

“Don’t you dare apologize, Xoey.”

“I didn’t steal it, I swear. You had it in your closet. And I thought it had to be cheaper than your dress shirts. Also, it was long enough to cover—?

“Stop. It’s fine.”

“But it was a memory of your brother.” She turned back to the door, unwilling to meet his eyes even though her voice was heavy with regret. “I’ll go get it. Nine years is a long time to be separated from something special to you.”

“Please, Xoey. Stop. Forget the jersey. Let’s talk about this.”

Finally, she brought her eyes up to meet his. Eyes filled with emotions he couldn’t describe really traced every line of his face, and then his standard t-shirt-over-jeans attire. “You look so different. The guy I remember from that night looked straight out of an investment banker’s dress code handbook.”

“I donated all my suits. Don’t actually have a single one from that time of my life anymore.”

She reached up, but pulled her hand back at the last second. “Your hair is lighter.”

“Never used to go out in the sun before. Too busy trying to make a lot of money.”

“It’s not gelled, either. And it’s longer.”

He stared down into her soulful brown eyes. “I always liked it when you ran your fingers through my hair. So I’ve kept it this length ever since. And I dumped every last bottle of hair product when I quit my job as a banker.”

“You’re bigger, too. Way more muscular.”

Damn, he loved the way her eyes softened with appreciation, even through her anger.

She shook her head. “Sorry. This is stupid.”

“No it’s not. Continue, please. I want our memories to meet the reality. Because I have my list too. You…” He ran his eyes over every inch of her face. “You don’t look anything like I remember from that night either. But we’ll take turns. What else is different about me?”

Her gaze tangled with his. “Your eyes. You were wearing glasses that night.”

He nodded. “Glasses got in the way in the MMA ring.”

Her lips tipped up at the corner a bit. “I kind of liked the glasses. They were sexy.”

“Damn, now I wish I hadn’t done the laser surgery. I can go stare at a TV and damage my eyesight again,” he said in complete seriousness.

Another hint of a smile had him returning one right back at her.

“And that.” She pointed at his mouth. “That’s different, too. You didn’t smile that night. You were just serious and intense.”

“I wasn’t happy back then.”

With one more roaming stare over his face, she whispered, “Hello Mack.”

He cringed. “That’s not me anymore.”

“I know. And when it boils down to it, I liked Mack a lot, despite his job, his clothes, and his crunchy hair.”

“So you liked Isaac.”

“Yes. But I wanted to say hello to Mack…so I could tell him goodbye.”

He reached for her but stopped when she flinched.

Trying to convince himself that this wasn’t over between them, he threw a Hail Mary. “Did you become a Bears fan because of my jersey?”

The tortured look on her face dissolved a little. “Yes. Sad, right?”

“Adorable.”

With a ragged sigh, she said, “Your turn. You said you had a list of my differences?”

“I’ve actually had longer to compare the past you and the current you. I guess I just want to know why. Not that the shorter hair with all those highlights wasn’t sexy. But…it doesn’t seem like you. And I don’t know why you would cover those gorgeous eyes of yours and make them green.”

“I was only twenty. It was my friend’s twenty-first birthday, and the entire group of us were supposed to take her out. They were all twenty-one except for me. So my friend’s sister lent me her I.D. We looked similar because I had short chin-length hair like she did. As for the highlights, I was up for trying anything so we highlighted the crap out of my hair a lot and I got a box of green contacts to match the eye color listed on the I.D.”

Pain shot through him as he made a mental calculation he hadn’t until now. “You were only twenty when you gave birth to Blake.”

“I gave birth a few weeks before my birthday.”

“And instead of celebrating it up like your friend did…”

“I was curled in a ball crying,” she said in a hoarse voice.

“Xoey.” He ran right through all her red lights and cupped her face in his hands. “I would give anything to go back and undo the pain you went through.”



*



“YOU CAN’T. You can’t undo the one reason that started the avalanche: You didn’t want me.” Xoey closed her eyes and tried to think about anything but how good his hands felt. How much she wanted to sink into the comfort he was trying to provide.

“Bullshit! I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you. I’ve never stopped wanting you, Xo. Even after you broke up with me. How can you possibly doubt how I feel about you—I’ve waited for you for over a year.”