Letting Go (Surrender Trilogy #1)(98)

She laughed and the sound filled the last remaining hole in his heart. He was a lucky son of a bitch. The woman he loved—had loved forever—was giving him another chance to prove his love to her. He’d never give her another reason to doubt him, and he’d love her and the children they had until the day he died.

EPILOGUE

DASH stood at Carson’s grave site. The first time he’d come alone since the day he’d been buried. All his other trips had always been with Joss. But he hadn’t wanted her to come. For one, she’d promised herself that she wouldn’t come back, that this wasn’t the way she wanted to remember her husband.

And this would be the last time he came here himself. But he needed closure. Joss wasn’t the only one who’d needed to let go. So now he stood at his best friend’s grave, prepared to confess everything and assure Carson that Joss was loved and would always be taken care of.

“I f**ked up, man,” Dash said bluntly. “You already know that. You’re likely up there wanting to kick my ass for all the pain I’ve put Joss through. The pain I’ve caused her. I deserve it. I’ve certainly kicked my own ass over it all.”

He drew in a steadying breath, caught unaware by the emotion that overwhelmed him, tightening his chest as long-held grief came rushing out.

“I made you a promise and it was a promise I didn’t keep. I’m sorry for that. You gave me an extraordinary gift and I’ll always be grateful for that gift. For understanding and never judging me.”

He paused another long moment, getting his emotions under control.

“She’s happy now. We’re happy. I made things right. We’re married now. I know you know that. But I just had to come and tell you. To reaffirm the promise I gave you before you died. I love her, man. With all my heart. Thank God, she didn’t give up on me, that she gave me another chance.

“I won’t let her down again. I won’t let you down. I’ll love her and protect her always. With my life. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to make her happy, just like you always did whatever was necessary to make her happy.

“I hope you’re at peace now, Carson. Joss and I both loved you. Will always love you. But she has a huge heart and an endless capacity to love. She loves me now, but she’ll always love you too, and I’m okay with that because I realize there’s room in her heart for both of us. Loving you doesn’t take away from her love for me, and I can accept that now. I didn’t before.”

He drifted off, watching a cloud blow by, beaming sunshine down on the grave. He was instantly filled with a warmth so beautiful that it could only be Carson’s presence. Loving and forgiving, just as he’d been in life.

“I came to say good-bye, just like Joss said her good-byes all those weeks ago. I won’t be back. It’s a choice Joss and I have both made because this isn’t the way we want to remember you. We have too many other good memories and those are the ones we want to cherish.

“Thanks, man. You’ll never know how grateful I am for you trusting her to me. We’re happy. She makes me so damn happy that I can’t even look at her at times without going to my knees. I know you’re familiar with that feeling. It’s how you reacted around her too. She’s a very special woman and we’re both lucky bastards to have won her love. Her warmth and generous spirit.

“We’re planning to have children. Right away if I have any say in it. It’s what she’s always wanted and I understand why you couldn’t give them to her, even though Joss and I both know you would have loved them, protected them and never ever hurt them.

“We’ve decided to name our first son for you. It’s fitting since you brought us together. Your memory will live on through him, and Joss and I will keep your memory alive between us. No pushing it away. You were important to us both, an essential part of our past. But now we’re looking ahead and we’re both ready to let go and move forward with our lives.”

Dash briefly ran his hand over the headstone and then straightened to his full height.

“Thank you for loving Joss. And me,” Dash whispered. “You don’t ever have to worry anymore. She’s in good hands, and I’ll die before ever hurting her again. You have my word. Good-bye, my friend. May you rest with the angels until we all meet again.”

His heart lighter, a great weight lifted from his shoulders, he turned and hurried back to the car, where his wife waited for him. As he neared his car, she opened the door and stepped out, her smile beautiful and breathtaking. So warm that even the sun couldn’t compete with her radiance.

Her eyes softened and she extended her hand to him as he approached. She said nothing, simply squeezed, offering her silent support. Never once did she look back at Carson’s grave as he ushered her back inside the car before walking around to the driver’s side.

When he slid in, he didn’t immediately start the ignition. Instead he turned sideways so he could see his wife. His beautiful, loving, generous wife.

“I love you,” he said, his throat still knotted with emotion.

She leaned over the seat and palmed his cheek as she kissed him.

“I love you too, darling. Now let’s go home and start practicing making those babies you promised me.”

He grinned, suddenly feeling he could take on the world. Get her pregnant? Hell yeah. She’d been off birth control an entire month, and the timing in her cycle was right. If he had his way, they’d spend the next two days in bed, and he’d do everything in his power to start the family they both so desperately wanted.