Letting Go (Surrender Trilogy #1)(27)

“What are you saying, honey? Be honest with me. What are you trying to tell me?”

She pushed upward, levering herself so she stared down into his eyes. Her dark hair, such a startling contrast to her sapphire-colored eyes, tumbled downward, spilling onto his chest until he ached to bury his fingers in it and kiss her until neither of them could breathe.

She licked her lips and then nibbled delicately at her bottom lip, a sign of her nervousness. But her eyes were earnest as she stared down at him.

“I know you want to take things slow. I know you don’t want to rush or make a mistake. But I don’t want to wait. I want to feel, Dash. I want to live again. I want to feel like a woman again. I’ve been so alone and . . . cold,” she whispered. “So very cold for so very long. I want to remember how passion feels. How it feels when a man makes love to me, when he touches me. And I don’t want you to ask. Does that sound stupid? I want you to take . . . control. I just want you to do whatever it is you want to do. I want you to make the decisions for both of us.”

He stopped breathing. His heart was pounding so hard that he was surprised it wasn’t making an audible sound. His blood pumped through his veins with such force that he felt lightheaded.

She was handing him everything he’d ever dreamed of on a silver platter. Her trust. Her submission. Her. Just her.

He cupped her cheek, caressing the baby-soft skin with his thumb. “Be very sure of what you’re asking, Joss. Very sure. Because I want it. I want it all. And I’ll take it. You have to be damn sure you’re prepared for the reality, though.”

She shivered, chill bumps racing across her arms and shoulders.

“I’m sure,” she whispered.

NINE

JOSS’S heart was racing, her pulse thundering in her veins as she took in Dash’s dead serious expression. There was something incredibly sexy about the way he looked at her right now. So intense. So determined. But it was the edge in his expression, the tightness of his jaw and features, that gave her a giddy thrill.

Like she’d just unleashed the lion. A very hungry lion. And she was about to be devoured whole.

She shivered uncontrollably at the image of him biting her, sinking those perfectly straight white teeth into her tender flesh. Of him marking her, possessing her, branding her.

All the things she’d fantasized about with a dominant male. Only she’d never imagined Dash in the role of the man dominating her, and now? It was all she could think of. Dream of. Fantasize about.

He’d made her see him for the virile, mouthwateringly gorgeous, alpha male he was. He’d forced her to see beyond the veil of friendship and she liked what she saw. Anticipated what she saw and now knew to be true.

Now that she’d thrown down the gauntlet, would he react to the challenge? Would he take her at her word or would he be cautious and take it slow?

It was the last thing she wanted. She didn’t want caution or reserve. She wanted it all. Everything he had to give her and more. She could see the hunger in his eyes, could see the lust and desire as if it were written in ink on his forehead. He made her feel alive for the first time in three long years. He made her feel feminine and desirable. Beautiful. He made her feel beautiful.

And she’d been honest. She didn’t want to think. Didn’t want to have to make decisions. Maybe that made her a coward, but she wanted to relinquish absolute control. She wanted to . . . surrender.

“God, Joss.”

Her name came out a harsh whisper, rushing out in a forceful exhalation of his breath. His eyes burned, a quick and sudden fire that turned her insides to water.

“Know what you’re saying, honey. Understand what you’re asking. Because I’ll only ask this once. If you agree, if this is what you want, then there’s no going back. You’ll be mine and only mine.”

She nodded, her throat too tight to give voice to her assent.

“The words, honey. Give me the words so there’s no misunderstanding.”

“Yes,” she croaked. “God, Dash, what do I have to do? Beat you over the head with it? Don’t make me beg. I want this. I want you.”

Regret shimmered in his rich brown eyes, and he put a finger to her mouth. She wanted to lick it, to see if he tasted as good as he looked, as she imagined.

“You’ll never have to beg. Not for me you won’t. I’ll give you whatever you want. Unconditionally and without reserve. And I’ll never question you again. But there are a few things we need to get out of the way—important things—before we get swept away in everything else.”

“All right,” she quietly agreed.

His voice had dropped, the tone serious, his gaze brooding and yet . . . hopeful. Almost as if he was afraid she would change her mind and cut and run. Maybe she couldn’t blame him. If it was true that he’d waited all this time, had wanted her all this time, he likely felt like the rug could be pulled out from underneath him at any moment. Or perhaps he thought this was all a dream, one he’d wake from and it would all be gone.

It was a feeling she was well acquainted with. Ever since she’d seen him in The House, her world had been irrevocably altered. It would never be the same no matter what happened between them.

She feared that. Her biggest fear was that this wouldn’t work out, that it would end badly and she would have lost not only Carson, but also a man she considered her friend. Perhaps not her best friend. Her friendship with Chessy and Kylie was steadfast, but it was a different kind of friendship than the one she had—or rather used to have—with Dash.