Just One Kiss (Fool's Gold #10)(69)

“I’m glad, too,” Patience said, even as she wondered what Noelle wasn’t saying. There were mysteries in the other woman’s past. An interesting story. No doubt she would find out what it was with time.

* * *

“ALL THE kids are talking about summer vacation,” Lillie said. “I’m excited, too, but I like school.”

Justice sat on the sofa in the McGraw living room. Ava was running an errand and Patience was still at work. Today was his first day out of bed and downstairs. He was weak, but healing.

“It’s good that you like school,” Justice told the girl.

“That’s what my mom says. Some of my friends don’t like school at all. They say the tests are too hard, but I think they don’t study.” She bit her lower lip. “You won’t tell them I said that, will you?”

“Of course not.”

“Good.” She smiled. “I’m going out to dinner tonight.”

“I heard. With Ava and Steve.”

“We’re going up to the resort on the mountain. To the fancy restaurant. I have a special dress and Mom’s going to do my hair.”

“I want to see you before you go.”

“You will,” she promised.

She chatted on about a book she was reading and her upcoming summer camp. With Lillie there was always an activity planned or a place to go. She was a happy, busy kid with lots of friends running in and out of the house.

The three of them had made a good life for themselves, he thought. Found a rhythm that worked for them. But he suspected there had been tough years. Times when money had been tight and they’d had a lot of burdens.

As Lillie talked about a new movie she wanted to see, he wondered how his life would have been different if he’d had an ordinary job with regular hours and no flying bullets. If he’d been able to settle down.

He watched Lillie as she talked, her brown eyes filled with enthusiasm and intelligence. She was generous and kind, funny. So little of life’s tragedies had touched her, and he didn’t want that to change. He feared that while he might be able to imitate regular life, he couldn’t actually live it. That there would always be something off inside him.

If that was the case, he couldn’t risk inflicting himself on someone. But even as the thought occurred, he wondered if he was taking on too much. If, in fact, he was so used to lurking in the shadows, he’d grown fearful of sunlight. Logic told him the ghosts had long been laid to rest. Now it was up to him to make sense of his life.

Lillie turned to him. “Justice, I have a question.”

“Sure. What is it?”

She regarded him thoughtfully. “Why did my dad go away?”

He reached for her small hand and took it in his. “I don’t know,” he told her honestly. “Because he was scared of the responsibility, I guess. His leaving wasn’t about you. You were a baby at the time. You had nothing to do with what was going on.”

“But if I hadn’t been born, he might have stayed.”

Justice felt a pain far worse than the bullet wound. “No, he wouldn’t have stayed. He was always going to leave. It’s just who he was.” He slowly shifted until he was facing her. “You have more than one friend, right?”

She nodded, her expression solemn.

“If something happens, like a dog gets loose in the school yard, you know which friend is going to think it’s funny and which one is going to worry about the dog and which one will just ignore everything.”

Lillie tilted her head. “You’re right. They’d all say or do something different.”

“And you can predict their behavior based on what they’ve done in the past. You have the friend who is always late and the one who always does her homework.”

“I get it.” She drew in a breath. “So you’re saying my dad left because he would always leave?”

“Uh-huh. He didn’t leave because of you. It’s what he was going to do.”

“That makes sense but I still feel bad about it.”

“I know,” he told her. “I feel bad, too. He’s missing out on a pretty great kid.”

She gave him a slow smile. “You’re just saying that.”

“I’m not. I’m telling the truth. I’m glad I got to know you, Lillie.”

“Me, too.”

She leaned in and hugged him. Her arms tightened around him, sending fiery pain ripping through his midsection, but he didn’t say a word. Instead he hugged her back and welcomed the feel of her affection and trust.

Ten minutes later she’d run off to get ready for her dinner out. Shortly after that, Patience arrived home.

“Sorry, sorry,” she said as she hurried into the living room. “We’re so busy at the store and I got to talking.” She stopped and stared at him. “You’re downstairs.”

“I noticed that.”

“Should you be? Are you pushing things?”

“I climbed down slowly. It’s time for me to be up and around.”

She didn’t look convinced. “There’s a big difference between up and around and being stupid. You’re not crossing the line, are you?”

He chuckled. “No, I’m not.”

She and Lillie had similar eyes. Not just in the warm brown color but also in the shape. They could both look so damned earnest.