Jet (Marked Men #2)(30)

I stopped smacking my lips and doing my lipstick to look at her incredulously. “Why aren’t you excited? That sounds amazing. Most girls get flowers and chocolates for Valentine’s Day, and you get your dream guy offering to buy you a house.”

She turned to look at me and I saw her chew on her bottom lip like she did when she was nervous or worried about something. “I don’t know. I guess because I always thought I would do things in order, you know? Fall in love, get married, buy a house, have kids. All of that stuff goes hand in hand and I’m not even close to being done with school yet. It just seems like a huge step and if he changes his mind or whatever, then what do I do?”

“Shaw, that guy loves you like you’re his reason for being. He isn’t going to change his mind, and unless you think this isn’t a forever thing, then what should the order it happens in matter?”

She sighed again and played with the ends of her braid. “I know for me it’s a forever thing, and I believe that he feels the same way, but Rule gets dangerous when he feels trapped. It scares me what he might do when he has to pay a mortgage and come home to the same person every night.”

I poked her in the shoulder. “He comes home to you every night now. Stop making it into something it isn’t. You guys love each other and it doesn’t matter if it’s in an apartment or a mansion or a freaking tent in the wilderness. You’re still going to love each other, and Rule will be fine. Besides, did you ever stop to think maybe he wants to do something to make Rome’s life easier? Rome has always protected both of you. Maybe this is Rule’s way of trying to return the favor.”

I saw something in her green eyes flare and a little bit of the tension in her face release. “Thanks, Ayd, I needed to hear that.”

I shrugged and situated my phone in my bra. “No problem.”

“Sooooo, what about you and Jet? I saw how you looked when you came back to the table. I thought we were either going to have to make up an alibi for you and help you move the body or hose you down.”

“Rowdy took me home and let me rage at him for an hour. I was pissed, but then Jet showed up this morning and we talked. We’re good now.”

“What does ‘good’ mean?”

“I’m not really sure. I guess we agreed that for now we’re attracted to each other on a pretty serious level and we should see where that goes.”

She lifted a pale eyebrow as we went to find Lou and get our stations for the day. “So you agreed to have sex?”

I rolled my eyes at her. “We agreed to see how things play out while remaining friends. Jet isn’t the kind of guy you marry and have kids with. He’s the guy who makes you forget your name and rocks your world. We like each other and it’s getting old trying to pretend something isn’t there, but we have very different ideas about some things, so it’s unlikely that it’ll ever be more than some intense chemistry and hopefully really good times for as long as it lasts.” I was proud at how calmly I said this, because my heart was hammering under Shaw’s intense scrutiny.

At first she was silent, and I wanted to say more, but Lou wrapped us up in a giant bear hug. The front doors were opened and we had to hit the ground running. She looked at me over her shoulder and tossed out, “Be careful, Ayd,” which I chose not to read too much into.

I knew Shaw was the kind of girl who believed in a great love. She had fought long and hard to get Rule. She had battled her family and his family, and her biggest hurdle had been Rule himself. I don’t think I would have ever put that much effort into it. The only thing I focused on, the only thing I ever labored over and sweated about, was building myself a life that couldn’t topple over, and establishing a future that was rock solid and indestructible. I wanted old Ayden buried so far under new Ayden there could be no way for her to claw her way back to the surface.

Security would always win in any game where love or any other emotion was a consideration, and that was just the way it had to be. I was willing to see what Jet and I could do with all the heat that burned between us, as long as the fire was controlled. As soon as it got out of hand, burned too hot, I would have to put it out and walk away, no matter how bad it might hurt me or him.

Chapter 6

I was at loose ends, with time on my hands and restless because I still didn’t know exactly what I was going to do with this thing happening between me and Ayden.

She was at work, Cora was in a mood, and the guys were all scattered across town doing this or that. I found myself heading to Federal Heights, and to a familiar brick house that I normally avoided like the plague. I called first to make sure the old man was nowhere around and parked on the crowded street. I made enough money that I could move my mom somewhere nice, somewhere closer to downtown, somewhere safer and more upscale, but I wouldn’t do it until she left that ass**le. She just refused to see the light. I jogged up the cracked cement steps and rang the doorbell, gritting my teeth when, instead of dinging, it gave off a little shock. If he couldn’t be bothered to fix something as simple as the doorbell, it made my head go crazy with all the other stuff he was bound to have neglected.

I pounded on the door with the edge of my fist and scowled at my mom when she pulled open the door. She was a slight woman, several inches smaller than me. Even under the premature lines on her face and beneath the crown of dull brown hair, it was easy to see that at one time she had been a beautiful woman. Now she just looked tired and worn. The smile she gave me was fragile and so fleeting I might have imagined it had she not embraced me with birdlike arms in a hug that felt like it was equal parts desperation and sorrow.