Imitation in Death (In Death #17)(70)

"Let my aide take care of it," Eve' told him. "She's just going to mess it up, and hurt you considerably while she's at it."

Smith nodded curtly, and turned his head away from Peabody and the blood.

"Li, please go out now. Close the door."

"But, Caimichael.. "

"I want you to go."

She blinked at the slap in his voice and fled.

"How did you learn about,.. her?" he asked Eve.

"It's my job to learn about things."

"It could ruin me, you know. My audience doesn't want to know about that sort of... They don't want the unseemly, the unattractive. They come to me for beauty, for romantic fantasy, not for the ugliness of reality."

"I'm not interested in your audience or in making any information public, until and unless it applies to my case. I told you, I'm not interested in publicity."

"Everyone is," he retorted.

"Think what you like, it doesn't change why I'm here. Your mother was an LC. She was abusive to you."

"Yes."

"You support her, financially."

"As long as she's taken care of, she stays away, and out of my life: She's smart enough to know that coming forward, selling her story, might net her some quick money, but it would kill the golden goose. If my income suffers, so does hers. I explained this to her, very carefully, before the first payment was made."

"Your relationship with your mother is adversarial." "We don't have a relationship. I prefer not to think of the connection. It unbalances my chi."

"Jacie Wooton was an LC."

"Who's'

"Wooton. The woman who was murdered in Chinatown."

"It has nothing to do with me." More composed now, he waved it all away with his uninjured hand. "I also choose not to dwell on the darker shades of the world."

"A second' woman was murdered on Sunday. The mother of a grown son."

He flashed her a look now, and there was a hint of fear in it. "That doesn't have anything to do with me, either. I survived violence. I don't perpetuate it."

"Victims of abuse often become abusive. Children who were beaten often become violent adults. Sometimes a killer is born, sometimes he is made. A woman hurt you, a woman who had control over you, authority over you. She hurt you for years when you were helpless to stop her. How do you make her pay for that pain, for that humiliation, for all the years you lived in fear?"

"I don't! She'll never pay. Her type never pays. She wins, again and again. Every time I send -her money, she wins again." Tears tracked down' his cheeks now. "She wins because you're standing there pushing her into my head again. My life is not an illusion because I made it. I created it. I won't let you come into it and try to shatter it, to smear it."

Empathy rolled into her stomach. His words, the passion. behind them, could have been her own. "You have a home here, and one in London.?"

"Yes, yes, yes! What of it? He jerked his hand;, and glanced down at the tug of Peabody's.

When his gaze landed on the bloody cloth, his face went white as,:bone. "Go away. Can't you go away?"

"Tell me where you were Sunday morning."

"I don't know. How can I remember; everything? I have people to take care of me. I'm entitled to be taken care of. I give pleasure. I take pleasure. I deserve it."

"Sunday morning, Carmichael,- between eight and noon."

"Here. Right here. Sleeping, meditating, detoxifying. I can't live with stress. I need my, quiet times."

"Were you alone?'*

"I'm never alone. She's in every closet, under every bed, waiting in the next room to strike out. I lock her away,, but it doesn't mean she isn't waiting

She hurt, looking at him. Understanding the words, she hurt. "Did you leave the house on Sunday morning?'

"I don't remember."

"Did you know Lois Gregg?"

"I know so many people. So many women, They love me. Women love me because I'm perfect. Because I don't threaten them. Because they don't' know that I know what they are under it all."

"Did you kill Lois Gregg?"

"I have nothing more to say to you. I'm going to call my attorneys now. I want you to leave my home, Li!"' He put his injured hand behind his back as he rose, swaying a little.

He stepped carefully to the side, away from the bloodsmeared towel. -

"Li, make them go away," he ordered, as she hurried into the room again. "Make them leave. I have to lie down now. I don't feel well. I need my quiet room."

"There now, there." Cooing, she put an arm around his waist, took his weight. "I'll take care of everything, don't you worry. Poor baby.' Don't you worry."

She shot a vicious look at Eve over her shoulder as she led Smith- from the room. "I want you gone when I get back. If not, your superior will hear about this."

Eve pursed' her lips, listening to Li's voice fade as she cooed Smith away.

"Guy's got some serious problems," Peabody commented.

"Yeah. Maybe he thinks he can cover it up with meditation, herb drinks, and mind-numbing music." Eve shrugged.