Illuminae (The Illuminae Files #1)(7)
INTERVIEWER: I work the infirmary.
Ezra Mason: … Jesus, I was kidding. You’re serious?
Ezra Mason: You’re not even a qualified shrink? Well that’s just f*cking chill.
INTERVIEWER: I’m post-grad med from the UTA Academy. Psych major. We do six months field work in our final year. I pulled duty on the Alexander. But it doesn’t take a graduate from Neo-Oxford to see you have some serious anger issues, Mr. Mason. So we can talk about it if you like, or we can sit here and stare at the walls until our allotted hour is over.
INTERVIEWER: It’s up to you.
(skip 51:27 minutes of complete silence)
Ezra Mason: She asked for something I couldn’t give her.
INTERVIEWER: … I beg your pardon?
Ezra Mason: My girlfriend. Kady. She asked for something I couldn’t give her.
INTERVIEWER: What did she ask you for?
Ezra Mason: Doesn’t really matter now, does it? Whole ’verse gone to hell and all. Point is, for someone like Kady, the asking part is hard enough. She doesn’t do the vulnerable thing real good. She doesn’t like needing anyone. So when I said no and couldn’t give a reason, it kinda … broke the back of it, you know?
INTERVIEWER: Why wouldn’t you give her a reason when you said no?
Ezra Mason: If I didn’t tell her, you honestly think I’m gonna tell you?
INTERVIEWER: Which brings me back to your mother.
Ezra Mason: Oh, and how you figure that, Mr. Post-grad?
INTERVIEWER: Typically, trust issues in teenagers stem from childhood abuse by authority figures. Teachers and parents, mostly. The fact you’ve undergone psych-eval before lends weight to the theory.
INTERVIEWER: Now, you obviously loved your father, hence your inability to process his death and your open hostility toward anyone who makes reference to it. The next logical line of enquiry is your mother.
INTERVIEWER: So. Tell me about your mother.
Ezra Mason: You’re taping this, right?
INTERVIEWER: Audio only. Camera is faulty.
Ezra Mason: Okay, well for the benefit of the sight-impaired, I am now raising my … Oh, dear … yes, it’s my middle finger at Mr. Post-Grad here.
INTERVIEWER: Mr. Mason …
Ezra Mason: Now I’m wiggling it.
INTERVIEWER: Terminating interview at 13:58, 03/19/75.
Ezra Mason: Look at it wiggle—
—audio ends—
Mason, Ezra—
Psych Profile/Conscript Suitability Assessment
Incept 03/21/75
—Page 2—
shows signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: aggression, avoidance, night terrors and survivor guilt.
TEAMWORK: Mr. Mason is a team player, capable of stepping up to leadership roles if required. High school sports: making life easier for military recruiters since 1914.
ATTITUDE: The death of Mr. Mason’s only living relative (father) during the Kerenza assault has left him with a deep sense of resentment and anger. However, his aggression is progressing, and is almost entirely focused on the BeiTech Corporation. And BeiTech are the people who’ll be shooting at him.
CONCLUSION:
☒ Conscript—Priority 1
▢ Conscript—Priority 2
▢ Conscript—Priority 3
▢ Do Not Conscript
Comments: Mr. Mason’s PTSD and anxiety levels would normally make him a washout for combat duty. However, with Alexander’s current shortfall of suitable Cyclone pilots and considering Mason’s test results (Spatial Awareness: top 94 percentile; Pattern Prediction: top 99.7 percentile), it’s our recommendation to conscript.
The kid’s hostility toward BeiTech can be harnessed in a conflict situation. Throwing him into task-oriented activities in a social environment (combat training) may even prove therapeutic. And if not, a few months from now, he’s not our problem.
Get him in a cockpit ASAP.
Kades
i am not sending this to you I am just writing it down and then i will delete it because of reasons. My friend jimmy says it is best to get these things off your chest and since u are not here to say this to i’m pretending because you know think of my chest. it has things on it
so i am somewhat … liquefied but never fear i do notspend my days drinking alone in my bunk, the hooch is to hard to get lol. IT IS A CELEBRATION as i am now officially cleared for flight status, me flying a cyclone holy f*ckingshit wtf has the universe come to.
anyway since i will never send this, I feel it fair to say i thought it wasrough not to mail me back I get mahybe you don’t want to talk me and thats fine but a simple “i do not wish to speak to you goodday sir” would have been nice and this is shabby treatment madam, verily
since i will not send this, i also feel it is my duty to inform you that almost six months on I think I still love you and that makes me sad becaue love shouldn’t feel this way. is like getting kicked in the stomach every time i think of you and it makes me want to roll my face across this keyboardbiu;///ubEWdcfhugiov’byhi;.//////-=‘-0i9juh8ygtfdcsaazs34defg7uefg7u8hi9o0p8hi9o0p-[[09ju8dcsaazs34d9o0p-[[09.
INCEPT: 07/20/75
LOCATION: (Kerenza VII barycenter) 778.76, 325.71, 1243.56k
PILOT IDENT: Ezra Mason (UTN-966-330ad)
RANK: Second Lieutenant
CALLSIGN: N/A
Fire does weird shit in space.
You don’t really think about it until you see something burn out there. You light a match in zero grav, the flame will be perfectly round. Like the way Terra looks in the old ‘casts. And just like Terra, the flame won’t flicker orange or yellow or even white out there in the black. It’ll burn blue as a VR sky. Blue as a pretty girl’s eyes.