If It Drives (Market Garden, #7)(38)

“It’s something I have tried.” Cal lowered his gaze to the cup in his hands. “And I don’t think I quite pulled it off.”

“What makes you say that?” Nick asked.

Cal replayed the other night in his mind before he looked at Nick again. “I, um, well, I let James top me. And I said no orgasms, but I couldn’t . . .”

“You’re the Dom.” Nick shrugged. “You can come whenever you want.”

“Except I feel like I just lost it.” Cal sighed. “Like I got caught up in what we were doing, and . . .”

“So it wasn’t a loss of control over your sub. It was a loss of control over yourself.”

“Basically.”

“I see.” Nick glanced at Spencer, then back at Cal. “How did James respond?”

“He came too.”

“With your permission?”

Cal shook his head. “He apologised for losing control, but I mean, so did I.”

“Did you admit that to him?” Nick arched an eyebrow. “Or let him believe that you hadn’t lost control?”

“I . . . um . . .”

Nick wagged a finger at him. “And that, my friend, is where you made the mistake.”

“I should have played it cool?”

“And punished him, yes.”

Spencer cleared his throat and rubbed at the handle of his mug.

“See, when Spencer loses it, I put him in a cage. Cock cage, that is. Part of the fun is to get him to lose it, and part of what’s going on is that he knows what’s in store if he comes too quickly: He won’t be coming for a while. Poetic justice.”

Cal glanced at Spencer, but the man nodded without making eye contact. Was it embarrassing for him to be discussed that way? Did it turn him on? Nick talking about what they did when they were alone, speaking almost as if Spencer weren’t there—taking that decision from him whether to share or not? But he didn’t seem uncomfortable or put off. He and Nick must have decided beforehand what the lines and boundaries were.

Cal set his cup down. “I’m not sure I can do that. Or whether he’ll let me do that.”

Nick clicked his tongue. “I think he absolutely would.”

“What . . . what did he exactly hire you for? People in the Garden seemed to, I don’t know.” Cal paused. “Let’s put it this way. When I went and talked to the people at Market Garden, there was a lot of ‘oh, he hired Nick’ as if that explained something.”

Nick laughed. “Cal. I’m a sexual sadist. That’s my reputation at Market Garden, and it’s who I am. The only difference between me and somebody who goes around hurting and maiming people to blow their rocks is that I understand consent and make sure I have it. And I don’t actually deal real damage.” He leaned back. “It can be unsettling, especially when you’ve been indoctrinated about what’s acceptable in bed, but all that is a cultural construct anyway. That’s really all I can tell you. I have a fair idea of what your man craves, but we didn’t have much time to explore it.”

“I’m kinda glad you didn’t.”

Nick grinned. “James is a tough piece of work. Not the easiest sub for a newbie.”

“Oh. Good. So it’s not just me.”

“No, it’s not.” Nick shook his head. “And the thing is, I can show you how to be a Dom, how to be in control of a sub, but topping someone like him”—he nodded towards Spencer—“is entirely different from someone as . . . unwieldy as James.” He turned to Spencer. “No offence.”

Spencer chuckled. “None taken.”

“Well,” Cal said, “what you’ve taught me so far has helped.”

“Good.” Nick chewed his lip. “I’m just not sure what else I can do. I can show you all kinds of methods for inflicting pain, restraining someone, and generally being in control. But responding to James’s cues? That’s hard to explain without having a good handle on the cues he gives.”

Beside him, Spencer cleared his throat. “Uh, a suggestion?”

Nick and Cal both turned to him. Spencer was hardly intimidated by either of them, but his forehead creased a bit as he held his Dom’s gaze. “What if you both go to James?”

Nick blinked. “If we . . .”

Spencer shifted a little. “Arrange something like what we’ve been doing with Cal. Only with James instead of me.” He paused. “Not that I’m opposed to helping out, but if you think it would be more effective to use James, maybe that’s something to consider.”

Nick thought for a moment. “Much as you were hesitant in the beginning, Cal, I think that’s a damned good idea.”

Spencer relaxed, the creases disappearing and his expression easing to a subtle smile.

To Cal, Nick said, “Do you think he’d go for it?”

Cal exhaled hard. “I’m not exactly sure how to broach the subject with him.”

Nick gave a quiet laugh. “Why not? You can’t just work it into casual conversation?”

“Probably not, no.” Cal chuckled. “But if you think you’d have a better handle on how he and I interact, maybe I can find a way to suggest it.”

Nick grinned. “Excellent. Much as I’m enjoying leaving the rentboy life behind, I have to admit I wouldn’t mind a rematch with that particular john.”