I Love How You Love Me (The Sullivans #13)(59)

It wasn’t easy to stuff down her heady anticipation, but after she put Mason down for his nap, she needed to make some seriously good use of the next couple of hours on another small article that was due soon, in addition to the one she was writing about Dylan. She picked Mason up, and with her free hand, she clicked open the digital calendar on her phone to reconfirm her deadlines.

But when she looked at the dates, her stomach suddenly dropped.

Her period was supposed to have started the week before…and she was never late. In fact, the only time she’d ever missed it was when she’d been pregnant with Mason.

Grace didn’t realize her hold had tightened on her son until he started whining and pushing at her arms. She looked away from the dates on her phone to Mason’s upset face.

Nine months from now, was he going to be a big brother?

Joy and amazement hit her first at the thought of another baby. Dylan’s baby. One who was sure to be a fearless and free spirit with a ready laugh, just like him.

But barely sixty seconds later, fear clawed into her system. So much fear that it edged the joy right out.

Mason began to squirm in earnest, desperately in need of a nap after the previous night when he’d awakened every couple of hours crying and gnawing on anything he could shove against his gums. But she needed to know immediately whether or not she was pregnant before Dylan came home from his sail.

Would she soon be the mother of two illegitimate children? Oh God...

The very last place Mason wanted to go was into his stroller, and both of them were sweaty and red-faced by the time she clicked the buckles in place. It was never easy to get the stroller down the small flight of stairs from her apartment, but when he was wailing and trying to get out, it felt nearly impossible. But she had to get to the store, couldn’t wait through his nap and then a night with Dylan with the possibility of pregnancy hanging over her.

Was it just yesterday that she had been walking down this same street, enjoying people watching and window shopping, feeling as if her life might finally be heading down the right track? Now, she didn’t notice the sun sparkling off the blue water, didn’t see pretty dresses in store windows or crave the fruit at the corner stand.

Grace had never forgotten this feeling of having her life change abruptly from one moment to the next. Ten years ago it had happened when her mother had passed away. Two years ago it had happened again when her father had died. Six months after that, it had been when she’d learned she was going to become a mother. And then, just weeks ago, she’d looked at Dylan for the first time and felt that same jolt of awareness that told her nothing would ever be the same.

Now, shockingly, there was a very strong possibility that everything was going to change again.

Grace all but ran down the sidewalk with Mason. She knew she needed to calm down, buy the test, and wait to see what the results were before she freaked herself out any more than she already had. But she was too tired, too stunned, to stop the what-if’s and how-could-I’s that were already spinning around and around in her head.

When she broke the news to Dylan, would he look at her with the same disgust and horror that Richard had? What if he thought this was what she did—find rich men to seduce and then “accidentally” get pregnant?

No. She wasn’t making sense. She knew better than to compare Dylan with Richard. But with everything twisting up inside of her, she couldn’t seem to stop the crazy thoughts from coming.

A gray-haired man held the pharmacy door open for her, and when she thanked him, her voice sounded thick and hoarse, as if she’d been crying. The chain store had the same layout as the one where she’d purchased the pregnancy tests back East, so she quickly wheeled to the correct aisle and picked up two new tests, the same brand that she’d used before. Feeling like her life had somehow gotten stuck on repeat, she took them up to the counter to pay.

When the woman at the register looked at the tests and then down at Mason, who had fallen asleep in his stroller, she beamed at Grace. “I had mine close together, too, and it was an absolute godsend! They were best friends, always there for each other, even now.”

Grace knew better than to trust her voice again, so she simply nodded and fumbled for the cash in her purse, then left the store as quickly as she’d come. But the stranger’s words had rent her utterly in two. Because, for as frightening and life-changing as it would be to have another baby in nine months, she could also see how amazing it would be for her son to have a sibling so close to his age. After all, look at Dylan and his brothers and sister, who were all so wonderfully close.

Grace was extra careful not to wake Mason as she carried him and his stroller up the stairs, but his eyes opened the moment she got inside. For the next thirty minutes, she tried everything she could think of to get him to fall back to sleep. Not only because she knew he still desperately needed the rest, but because the clock was ticking down and Dylan would be knocking on her door soon.

Finally, he lay peacefully in his crib, his breathing slow and steady as he cuddled his blanket and stuffed animal close.

It will be okay, she told herself as she took a moment to watch him sleep. Everything will work out, one way or another.

Grace closed the bedroom door with a soft click and was just about to pick up the plastic bag containing the pregnancy test when there was a knock on the door.

Oh no, Dylan was early! She quickly brushed her hands over her face and hair, even though she knew he’d take one look at her and instantly know something was wrong.