Hunted (House of Night #5)(77)

His expression had hardened. He didn't look scary and red-eyed, but he did look like a complete jerk, and I was just tired enough for that to really piss me off.

"You attacked her. You forced yourself on her. Look, it's pretty simple. If you don't want people to say bad things about you, then you need to stop doing bad things," I said.

His eyes flashed and I saw a red light in their depths. "She would have liked it. If you and the warrior had come along five minutes later, you would have seen her all over me."

"Are you kidding me? You actually think mind control is foreplay?"

"Was she upset when you saw her inside? Or was she talking about how hot I am and how much she wanted me?" Stark hurled the questions at me.

"And you think that makes what you did okay? You messed with her mind to get her to want to be with you. By any definition that's a violation, and it's wrong."

"You kissed me right after that, and I didn't have to mess with your mind!"

"Yeah, well, I've been having some seriously questionable taste in guys lately. But I can promise you that right now I have absolutely no desire to hurl myself into your arms."

He stood abruptly, shoving away from my bed. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I am what I am, and nothing can change that." Totally pissed, he started striding toward the door.

"You can change that."

I said the words softly, but they seemed to shimmer in the air between us and wrap around Stark, pulling him to a stop. He just stood there for a while, fists clenched at his side, head slightly bowed as if he was fighting with himself. With his back still to me he said, &ldqolation,ely. But I I uo;See, that's what I mean. When you say things like that to me, you make me feel again."

"Maybe that's because I'm the only person who's telling you the truth right now." As I spoke, I got one of my gut-deep feelings that let me know I was saying the words Nyx would have me speak. I drew a long breath and tried to center myself, and even though I was tired and hurt and confused about many things, I followed the thread that had been unraveled before me and tried to sew together the shredded cloth of Stark's humanity. "I don't think you're a monster, but I also don't think you're just a nice guy. I see what you are, and I believe in what you could choose to be. Stark, don't you understand? Kalona and Neferet are keeping you like this because they're using you. If you don't want to turn into a creature of their creation, then you're going to have to choose a different way and fight against them, and against the darkness they surround themselves with." I sighed, searching for the right words. "Don't you see, evil will win if good people do nothing." I must have struck a nerve with Stark, because he slowly turned around to face me.

"But I'm not good people."

"You were a good guy before all of this. I know you were. I didn't forget, just like I promised you. And you can be a good guy again."

"When I hear you say it, I almost believe it."

"Believing it is the first step. Acting on it is the second." I paused, and he didn't say anything, so I filled the dead air with some of the babble that was drifting through my mind. "Have you stopped to think about why we keep coming together?"

His smile was completely Bad Boy. "Yeah, I thought it was because you're so damn hot."

I tried, unsuccessfully, not to grin back at him. "Well, yeah, I mean besides that."

He shrugged. "You being hot is enough for me."

"Thanks, I guess. But that's not exactly what I meant. I was thinking it has something to do with Nyx and your being important to her."

Stark's smiled faded instantly. "The Goddess couldn't want anything to do with me. Not anymore."

"I think you'd be surprised. Remember Aphrodite?" He nodded. "Yeah, kinda. She's that really stuck-up chick who actually thinks she's a love goddess."

"That's Aphrodite. She and Nyx are like this." I crossed my fingers.

"Are you sure?"

"Totally," I said, and couldn't stop the humongous yawn that overtook me. "Sorry. I didn't get much sleep lately. Between the stress going on around here, me getting hurt, and some seriously bad dreams, sleep has not been very friendly to me."

"Can I ask you something about your dreams?"

I shrugged and nodded sleepily.

"Has Kalona been in them?"

I blinked id instantl ~Z#n surprise at him. "Why would you ask that?"

"He does that. Gets in people's dreams."

"He's been in your dreams?"

"Nah, not me, but I've overhead the fledglings talking, and he's definitely been in their dreams, only they liked it a lot more than you do."

I thought about how sexy Kalona could be and how easy it would be for me to give in to his hypnotic appearance. "Yeah, I'll just bet they do."

"I want to tell you something, but I don't want you to think I'm making it up just so I can hit on you," he said.

"What is it?" He was looking massively uncomfortable, as if what he was about to say made him really nervous.

"It's harder for him to get into your dreams if you're not sleeping alone."

I stared hard at him. He was right. It sounded like something a guy would make up to get into a girl's bed (and pan ties).