Hunted (House of Night #5)(75)

"I couldn't be her," I said a little shakily. "I wasn't in the earth when you got free. I'd been living on the earth for the past seventeen years."

He kept caressing my hair as he answered me, "A-ya had been gone for centuries, dissolved once more into the earth that made her. You are simply she, reborn through a daughter of man. That is why you are different from the others."

"That can't be true. I'm not her. I didn't know you when you rose," I blurted.

"Are you quite sure you didn't know me?" I could feel the cold of his skin radiating toward my body, and I wanted to lean into him. My heart was beating hard again, only this time it wasn't from fear. I wanted to be close to this fallen angel worse than I'd ever wanted anything in my life. The desire I felt for him was even more than the pull of Heath's Imprinted blood. What would it be like to taste Kalona's blood? The thought made me shiver with the delicious, forbidden impulse. "You feel it, too," he murmured. "You were made for me; you belong to me."

His words slashed through the haze of my desire. I stood up and stepped around the end of the bench, putting the marble arm of it between us. "No. I do not belong to you. I don't belong to anyone except myself and Nyx."

"You always hearken back to that wretched Goddess!" The seductive intimacy evaporated from his voice, and he was once again the cold lB. VG, amoral angel whose moods shifted on a whim and who could kill with little more than a thought. "Why do you insist on being loyal to her? She isn't here." He spread his arms wide and his magnificent wings rustled around him like a living cape. "When you most need her, she steps away from you and lets you make mistakes."

"It's called free will," I said.

"And what is so wonderful about free will? Humans eternally misuse it. Life can be so much happier without it."

I shook my head. "But I wouldn't be me anymore without it. I'd be your puppet."

"Not you. I would not take your will away." His face changed instantly, shifting back to loving angel, the being who was so beautiful it was easy to understand why someone might throw away their free will just to be close to him.

Thankfully, that someone wasn't me.

"The only way you could get me to love you would be to take away my free will and then order me to be with you, like I was your slave." I braced myself for the explosion I thought my words would cause, but he didn't yell or jump off the bench or throw any kind of fit. Instead he simply said, "Then we are to be enemies, you and I."

He didn't say it like a question, so I decided my best bet was not to answer him. Instead I asked, "Kalona, what do you want?"

"You, of course, my A-ya."

I shook my head and impatiently brushed aside his answer. "No, I don't mean that. I mean, why are you here to begin with? You're not mortal. You...Well..." I paused, not sure how far I could push this subject safely, then finally decided I might as well go for it; he'd already said we were going to be enemies. "You fell, right? From, I don't know, someplace that must be what many mortals would call heaven." I paused again, waiting for some kind of response from him.

Kalona nodded slightly. "I did."

"On purpose?"

He looked vaguely amused. "Yes, it was my choice that brought me here."

"Well, why did you do it? What do you want?"

Another change came over his features. He blazed with a brilliance that could only be immortal. Kalona stood, threw his arms wide as his wings unfurled, spreading around him with a magnificence that made it hard for me to look at him and impossible for me to look away.

"Everything!" he cried in the voice of a god. "I want everything!"

And then he was there before me, a shining angel--not fallen at all, just miraculously here, within reach. Mortal enough to touch, but too beautiful to be anything but a god.

"Are you sure you couldn't love me?" He pulled me into his arms. His wings swept down and enfolded me in their soft darkness, a blanket that was in direct contradiction to the wonderful, painful chill of his body that I was coming to know so well. He bent, and slowly, as if giving me time to pull away, brought his mouth down to mine.

When our lips met, the kiss burned with colbea ^r Ed heat through my body. I felt myself fall. His body, his soul, was all that I knew. I wanted to press myself into him, have him lose himself in me. The question wasn't, could I love him, but how could I not love him? An eternity of embracing him--possessing him--loving him--couldn't possibly be enough.

An eternity of embracing him...

The thought speared through me. A-ya had been created to love him and embrace him for eternity.

Oh, Goddess! my mind cried, am I really A-ya?

No. I couldn't be. I wouldn't let myself be!

I shoved against him. Our embrace had been such a complete and passionate surrender that my sudden rejection caught him by surprise. He staggered back, letting me slip through the double embrace of his arms and wings.

"No!" I was shaking my head back and forth like a crazy woman. "I am not her! I am Zoey Redbird, and if I love someone, it's because he's worth loving, and not because I'm a piece of dirt that's been brought to life."

His amber eyes narrowed as anger flashed across his face. He started toward me.