Hold on Tight (Sea Breeze #8)(61)

She snarled at me. “What, not as good as sweet little Sienna Roy? You’re as bad as him. Can’t-do-no-wrong Sienna. Screw that. The bitch sucked at f**king. Dustin hated sex with her. He just did it ’cause she wanted it. But she was awful at it. He came to get the good stuff from me,” Kimmy spat angrily.

“I think I just threw up in my mouth,” Preston said beside me, and several guys laughed.

“Was that baby Dustin’s?” I asked. I didn’t want to hear her talk about Sienna again. She wasn’t worthy of saying Sienna’s name.

She threw up her arms. “He’s the only one I f**ked bare, and he was the only one I had f**ked in months. He and I were going to be an item soon. He just had to get rid of Sienna first.”

He was never planning on getting rid of Sienna. He’d killed himself trying to get to her before I could.

“And you killed his baby,” I said, needing to hear her admit it.

She shrugged as if what she had done meant nothing. “I wasn’t gonna have a baby without a man to help me take care of it. I have my life ahead of me.”

That was all I needed to know. I took two steps toward her as the blood roared in my veins. Then arms that could only belong to Rock wrapped around mine and hauled me back against his chest. “Not gonna let you do this,” he said in my ear. “You’re gonna sleep this shit off, and then you’re getting counseling. She’s high as a f**king kite. Do you think she would have stopped that while she was pregnant? I can answer that. No! She wouldn’t have. That baby didn’t stand a chance. It would have been born an addict if it had even been born at all.”

I glared at her. I hated her. I hated everything she stood for. But he was right. She’d have killed the baby one way or another. She was trash. My brother had made mistakes, and a girl willing to meet his every sexual whim had been his downfall.

“Let’s get the f**k outta here,” Preston said.

“You gonna walk out of here, or am I gonna have to haul you out? We can fight right here, but I’m sober and I’m gonna win. I won’t let you throw your life away over revenge. You have your parents to think about. They need you.”

My parents.

I was all they had. Me. The son without the golden halo. The screwup. Me. That was all they had left.

Present Day . . .

SIENNA

Had I always known? I sat in the middle of my bed, staring at the wall. Even back then Dustin had been weird when Kimmy was around. And she’d always hated me. I knew she went to the parties he went to. I always thought if they ever did anything, Kimmy would make sure the world knew. But maybe they all knew and no one told me. Because Dustin was their god. They kept his secret.

But why keep it a secret? Why not just break up with me? If he was sleeping with Kimmy and wanted her, then why was he staying with me? Had it always been a friendship between us? Was there ever love between us? Because it certainly wasn’t what I felt for Dewayne.

Dewayne.

I wrapped my arms around my stomach as the pain started again. He had lied to me. I’d trusted him and he’d lied to me. Did everyone lie? Was that the way life was? I couldn’t trust anyone but myself.

Dewayne had made me happy. He wanted me, but would I be enough for him? I wasn’t enough for his brother. It was possible I wouldn’t be enough for anyone. There had to be something wrong with me.

My parents had walked away from me. They’d betrayed me. Dustin had betrayed me in the worst way. And now Dewayne had kept it from me. I expected it of the others, but what hurt the most was Dewayne not telling me.

I wanted to be more important to him than Dustin was. That was selfish and wrong, but it was true. I wanted to be the most important thing to him, because other than Micah, I had been willing to put Dewayne before everyone else. He hadn’t felt the same. He had protected his brother’s memory. He hadn’t wanted me to know the truth about Dustin.

Not to mention all those letters my mother kept away from the Falcos because of this. She didn’t want me to be another girl Dustin Falco had left knocked up. In a twisted way I understood her logic. But I had made that decision and, unlike Kimmy, I had been Dustin’s girlfriend. Not his secret f**k buddy. It made more sense that I was the one pregnant.

She’d had an abortion. She had aborted Dustin’s baby. Images of Micah as a newborn when they’d placed him in my arms flashed before me, and my heart broke. He’d been so beautiful and perfect. He’d looked just like Dustin. Would Kimmy’s baby have looked like Dustin too?

Did she ever wonder? Did she care? Or was Dustin Falco and every memory of him a part of her past she rarely thought about? I would remember Dustin every day of my life. My son was my reminder. And I was thankful for it. Even if my memories were tainted. Even if I hadn’t been enough for Dustin and he had never really loved me. I had loved him. Maybe not real love, but a pure, young love. And I loved our son. Enough for both of us.

There was a knock on the front door, and I knew Dewayne was here with Micah. I had to pull it together and spend time with Micah until his bedtime. Standing up, I walked to the front door and opened it. Without saying anything, I reached for my son, pulled him into my arms, and hugged him tightly. The feel of his little heart beating was like a balm. He was here. He was my world. I had him. Thanks to Dustin Falco, I had this precious boy.

“I missed you too, Momma,” Micah said as he patted my back with his little hands.