His Reverie (Reverie #1)(57)
A little laugh escapes her as she relaxes her grip on me and gently combs my hair with her fingers. I close my eyes, reveling in her touch. It feels so good. So f**king right. “You did the same to me you know,” she agrees softly.
I’m quiet as I smooth my hands down her back, settling them right above her ass. I want to grab her and pull her on top of me but that she’s even standing in my arms with my face pressed against her naked stomach is pretty major. One wrong move and I could have her leaping out of my arms and telling me to stop. I don’t want to ruin this moment.
“This probably shouldn’t have happened. The two of us,” she says, her sweet voice full of such heartache I can feel my own crack heart in two. One half is mine and the other irrevocably belongs to her.
I tighten my hands on her hips, my trembling fingers curling into the flimsy waistband of her panties as I drift my lips across her skin from one sharp hipbone to the other. Her fragrant skin, the unmistakable scent of her is an intoxicating mix I can’t resist.
“Maybe we shouldn’t have happened but we did,” I murmur against her hip before I do what I’ve been wanting to do for the last five minutes and pull her down on top of me. She’s straddling my hips, her knees bent, my body sandwiched between her legs. “There’s no going back now, Reverie.” I wait for her to protest, to back out, to tell me no. I’ve been told no more times in my life than I can count. What I want, I rarely get.
But she doesn’t say no. She doesn’t push me away, slide off me, nothing like that. She’s smiling. She’s touching me. Her hands feel good on my skin. Her breath is warm and sweet and drifts across my cheek as she speaks.
“I don’t want to go back. Not if that means I can’t have you in my life.” She slowly grinds her body against mine, reminding me that she’s almost naked while I’m completely clothed. “I’m falling in love with you,” she whispers just before she kisses me. “I know you’re probably not ready to say it to me yet but that’s okay. I’m patient. I know you’ll see that we belong together.”
Her words slay me. I want to say those three words back to her so bad but I…can’t. I feel like a wimp. I can’t man up and tell her how I feel and it’s the lamest thing ever. Why am I so scared? Why am I so afraid something shitty will happen between us and that we’ll both end up f**ked over completely?
If I ever did something to hurt her, I would never be able to forgive myself.
“You’re killing me,” I whisper against her lips before I devour them in a hungry, never ending kiss. She doesn’t even hesitate, just returns my kiss with equal enthusiasm. I’m hard as a rock, my hands are touching her like I have no control of them and as I pull her down on the bed, her body spread over mine, my hands beneath her panties, gripping her ass, my fingers descending between her legs, I know.
I’m done for. The two of us are in this all the way.
All the f**king way.
33
Dear Diary,
(August 1, 3:12 a.m.) I can’t sleep. Nick left the house a half hour ago. I watched him walk across the lawn and down the driveway until I couldn’t see him anymore. I made him text me when he got to his truck. I made him text me again when he got home. I called him as soon as I got the text, desperate to hear his voice, needing to tell him I love him.
But I chickened out on the love thing. I told him once already and he didn't say it in return. I’m sort of okay with that. I know he’s not ready. Me, on the other hand…I thought my chest was going to burst wide open, I needed to tell him how I felt so badly. I’m glad I said it.
What happened tonight changes everything. My feelings for Nicholas Fairfield are even stronger now. I love him so much. I know every inch of his body and he knows mine. He took my virginity. We’re connected now. No one can tear us apart.
No one.
I don’t understand why he worries so much about not being worthy of me. He acts like he’s a criminal or something. So he’s poor. So what? He works hard and has the kindest heart. He’s so thoughtful. It sounds like his mother was a wonderful woman. She must’ve been, to raise a good boy like Nick. He’s also so incredibly beautiful. His face. His hair. His eyes. Those lips. And his hands…I love the way he touches me. How careful he is with me. Almost as if he cherishes me and our time together.
He’s perfect for me. Perfect.
But I know my parents won’t agree. Daddy and Mama want only the best for me so their expectations are extremely high. It will be hard for any guy to meet their exacting standards, least of all the boy who worked for them all summer. A boy who is unsavory, at least according to Daddy and Mama. I still haven’t figured out what exactly makes Nicholas so unsavory. Regardless, my parents won’t understand why I like him. Why I want him to be mine.
He’s already mine. They might not approve but I’ll be eighteen in a year. Then I can do whatever I want. Be with whoever I want.
Maybe once they see how sweet Nick really is, they’ll get it. They’ll accept him. I can only hope they’ll see how good he is to me because he is. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me.
Ever.
I keep the little bottle of dreams on my nightstand so I can look at it every night before I go to sleep. I wish for good dreams, where Nick comes to me in them and he does, sometimes. And when I wake up in the morning, that bottle is the first thing I see.